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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

What the hell is wrong with people?!?

279 replies

crispysausagerolls · 02/04/2020 09:26

Went to the supermarket today during their elderly/vulnerable slot. Heavily and very obviously pregnant. Supermarket extremely clear that this is included in the category.

Was literally torn to shreds by all the over 70s, both to my face and in front of me but to each other, about how I wasn’t allowed there and even if I was I shouldn’t be 😱

Aren’t times shitty enough without needing to face down over 70s Regina George and her allies?! How is this necessary?! Even when the supermarket worker made it clear I was indeed allowed in, the bitching continued.

Have managed to purchase some non alcoholic wine for later.

OP posts:
Daisyhoney · 03/04/2020 08:56

No TKAAHUARTG I don't feel sorry for her husband but everyone has to decide for themselves what is best for their family set up. Are you the shopping police all of a sudden? Why are people taking it upon themselves to tell others what to do - you can't buy chocolate ( no - it's not essential so you can't have a treat ) you can't possibly visit a cemetery as I read the other day ( no - you can't do that it's not essential either ) seriously?

RufustheLanglovingreindeer · 03/04/2020 09:20

I don’t see why I shouldn’t go because these people think it’s alright to bully me!

Abso-fucking-luteley right

It does not matter what the background is, you are allowed to go and those people were mean

They had no idea whatsoever about your family life and they would have been equally as shitty to a single mum

The whys and wherefores of your husband’s inability are a completely different Thread...and personally i would NOT start that one!

Rubberoftheband · 03/04/2020 09:23

Blimey @TKAAHUARTG don't you think you're being harsh, the OP is doing the shopping in the allotted time and those are the facts! The supermarket have recognised that pregnant women need to shop and have included them in the vulnerable category (correctly). Good job you're not the shop manager you'd ban them and say only the fathers could come in.

Strugglingtodomybest · 03/04/2020 09:27

There could be any number of reasons why my husband couldn’t go. He could be elsewhere, dead, sick, self isolating, have a serious underlying condition that makes him more vulnerable than me

Exactly. I find it really interesting how some people don't seem to be able to think these things through looking at you mum, they just assume the worst every time.

NW2SW · 03/04/2020 09:28

OP if anything proves that your experience was very real, it's a lot of the comments in this thread.

Fear can bring out the best and the worst in people sadly.

Nocaloriesinchocolate · 03/04/2020 09:28

If OP had been “literally” torn to shreds then she’d either be dead or in ICU and her attackers would have been arrested. She certainly wouldn’t have been fit enough to post here.

hipposarerad · 03/04/2020 09:41

I've only skimmed this thread, but here's a useful response that anyone can use if they're getting grief from social distancing prefects and self interested busy bodies who think that nobody is as much at risk as them.

"Mind your own fucking business"

It's a very useful phrase that works as well when it's venomously hissed at close quarters as it does when bellowed at fish wife volume.

Overthinker1988 · 03/04/2020 09:44

OP I'm sorry you had a bad experience. I'm pregnant too (3rd trimester, 1st pregnancy, went through a threatened miscarriage) and people going "oh but pregnant women aren't high risk, it's a precaution" can sod right off.
Pregnancy is a vulnerable and anxious time at the best of times and there's no way I'd want to take any chances right now.
And there's still so little reliable research. 2 ago they were saying women in 3rd trimester were Ok but they had no info on early pregnancy, now they're saying up to 28 weeks no extra risk, but 3rd semester are vulnerable. They just don't know for sure at this stage.
However...this is why I haven't set foot in a shop of any kind in 2 weeks, my husband has done all the shopping.
The bit about your DH being incapable of everyday tasks did make me laugh. Really? So he's able to hold down a well paid job but panics at shopping or opening a tin? Sounds like learned incompetence to me. What would he do if he was living alone? He'd just have to get on with it...but he's happy for his pregnant wife to queue outside supermarkets in the middle of a pandemic Hmm

SoupDragon · 03/04/2020 09:45

If OP had been “literally” torn to shreds then she’d either be dead or in ICU and her attackers would have been arrested. She certainly wouldn’t have been fit enough to post here

Don't be tedious.

Nanny0gg · 03/04/2020 09:46

@Nocaloriesinchocolate

Oh for crying out loud!

SoupDragon · 03/04/2020 09:47

.

What the hell is wrong with people?!?
Rubberoftheband · 03/04/2020 09:56

@Nocaloriesinchocolate Tennis

Notredamn · 03/04/2020 09:57

Again, OP I do think it's a case of reading the room and using a bit of common sense bearing in mind the statistics. I did say that yes, technically you could be included in 'vulnerable'. There are those at low risk and those at very high, even probable risk.
It's just my opinion but I do sympathise with how you were treated.

RufustheLanglovingreindeer · 03/04/2020 09:57

I literally think that if people literally just pick on one word in a post and literally harp on about it that they literally have nothing of any interest to say

Rubberoftheband · 03/04/2020 09:57

Well pointed out @SoupDragon, can you read that @Nocaloriesinchocolate?

slipperyeel · 03/04/2020 09:59

My SIL got slated for using the hour in Tesco. She is a nurse. She should not have had to tell a”” and sundry to prove she was worthy. She’d already shown her ID to security.

macaroniandpizza · 03/04/2020 10:06

Being an arsehole is being an arsehole whether your 17 or 77. Im sorry you had to put up with that op being heavily pregnant. I hope the rest of your pregnancy is peaceful and stress free

TossACoinToYourWitcher · 03/04/2020 10:16

If OP had said something along the lines of "a group of teenage boys were really horrible to me when I was queuing up" then MN would be outraged on her behalf.

But because it's a group of elderly women, who, according to MN can do no wrong, poor OP gets lambasted for ageism. The double standards on here are terrible.

Sorry this happened to you OP. I'd tell them to fuck off next time but then I'm a grumpy fart.

hibeat · 03/04/2020 10:18

I went twice thinking it was the right thing to do. Lo and behold. It was crazy rush hour. Now I go just one hour before closing. It's quiet and safe. I had the looks, the mumbling, I just penguinded my way to what I needed trying to have proper social distancing. Just look stern and ready to bulldoze around even if you are frighten as hell.
There are certain places in this world were only males are allowed outside the house, and I have to say that I did think to myself is this how women are being made to feel ?
You are not a criminal.

coldwarenigma · 03/04/2020 10:28

Oh the irony.

We can certainly see what a lot of posters will be like in their advanced years.

Twats will be twats at 17, 37, 57, 77.

cologne4711 · 03/04/2020 10:49

gain, OP I do think it's a case of reading the room and using a bit of common sense bearing in mind the statistics. I did say that yes, technically you could be included in 'vulnerable'. There are those at low risk and those at very high, even probable risk

But she's allowed to use the slot and the nosey parker Coronastasi were told as much by the store staff!

I have already said early on in the thread that if it were me I wouldn't use these slots because they are so busy, but that's up to the OP. She's allowed to use the slots and that's an end of it.

It's like trying to police people who have blue badges. They don't just give them away, so if someone has one, they are entitled to them, whether they "look" disabled or not.

I just wish people would mind their own beeswax.

springydaff · 03/04/2020 10:50

Do people realise that over 65s won't get treatment if they get covid? Ie they'll be left to sink or swim, live or die.

Older people are more likely to get covid badly. And they've been told they won't get treatment.

I'd be absolutely terrified - wouldn't you? If someone came within my orbit who is a more likely carrier due to exposure to others (eg children), I'd be terrified. Wouldn't you?

The supermarkets are getting this wrong. They are not factoring in that over 65s will not get treatment if they get covid. They shouldn't have slots for young and old together.

I'm sorry this happened to you op, it wasn't your fault and must have been upsetting. But can you see why they were so upset?

Original poster
crispysausagerolls · 03/04/2020 10:50

@Overthinker1988

He was raised by nannies and never really learnt to do anything of any use. When we met his idea of cooking was ordering food or cooking pasta IN A KETTLE 🤢 hes improved a lot but perhaps it is learnt incompetence. It’s Irrelevant though, really, as @RufustheLanglovingreindeer said. I just wanted to honestly answer the posted who asked.

But you’re right, it’s a confusing and scary time to be pregnant. I’ve read all sorts of conflicting and worrying information - reduced lung capacity in third trimester; lowered immunity etc.

OP posts:
countrygirl99 · 03/04/2020 11:06

This reply has been deleted

Message deleted by MNHQ. Here's a link to our Talk Guidelines.

springydaff · 03/04/2020 11:22

Good point, countrygirl.

But your choice of words to describe two older women is offensive and ageist and I have reported your post.