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Original poster

If you are receiving shopping via volunteers please can I request

440 replies

MatildaTheCat · 31/03/2020 15:25

That you stick to essential items and keep them as non specific as possible. DH and I shopped for two vulnerable people this morning under an official scheme. Their requests included 1 litre gin (ok maybe essential), branded tonic, branded cleaning items, organic gala apples, rose and raspberry lemonade, non sweetened organic coconut milk and on and on.

I lost a lot of sleep last night worrying about the additional exposure to the public while searching for half this stuff. In fact we did get pretty much everything but had we been asked for ie large brown loaf, cheddar, packet of bacon, mince, frozen peas it would have been a lot less stressful. This is going to last some months for the most vulnerable, if you or your family are in that category please help by keeping it simple.

Thank you.

OP posts:
MiniMum97 · 31/03/2020 19:43

Just to add there is no additional exposure from picking up a bottle of Gordon's, or some other gin.

GrumpiestOldWoman · 31/03/2020 19:43

That’s the thing with volunteering, if it isn’t what they need then it isn’t helping

Need?!

If that's your attitude then you're going to get a shock as more brands become unavailable and the focus shifts to keeping people provided with adequate nutrition. Or when you start to see people that you know dying of coronavirus. Then decide if you NEED a specific brand of tonic water.

This is a national emergency and yet some people imagine they have a right for their life to on as normal, even when other people have to volunteer for you to have anything.

Bringringbring12 · 31/03/2020 19:47

No way stick to specific essentials.

I volunteered to buy your shopping. I didn’t volunteer to buy “your essentials”.

I would kindly suggest OP that perhaps you’re not cut out to be a volunteer shopper.

PepePig · 31/03/2020 19:49

YANBU.

Having one or two specific requests is fine (eg a brand of fizzy drink. So saying Pepsi or Diet Coke), but a list of them is taking the piss, tbh. It's a volunteer service not a paid for personal shopper.

steppemum · 31/03/2020 19:55

and if folks want a substitute if it's available

that is the point though isn't it.
I want XXX very specific, if not then any apples will do. Or if not then don't get apples.

Bringringbring12 · 31/03/2020 19:55

* yet some people imagine they have a right for their life to on as normal, even when other people have to volunteer for you to have anything.*

Oh don’t be daft. They more than anyone are being negatively impacted by this situation. In no way is their life normal atm.
Having familiar food may well be their one chance to have the sense that their life hasn’t totally shit due to being alone and effectively imprisoned

frumpety · 31/03/2020 19:55

What do you do if there is no rose and raspberry lemonade ?
What do you do if the only unsweetened coconut milk isn't organic ?
What do you do if the only apples available are not organic and Cox's ?
What do you do if all the shelves have been wiped clean of branded cleaning products ?
What do you do if the tonic isle is bare of the particular brand specifically requested ?

I went to our local supermarket yesterday and I would have seriously struggled with the above requests and going by Waitrose last week would have struggled there too.

So fair to have a list of what you would like or need, but useful, given how little there is in some areas, would be alternatives or no if they don't have it, don't bother kind of instructions. Volunteer shoppers cannot magic stock or fix supply chains, they just shop !

JustInCaseCakeHappens · 31/03/2020 19:58

Shock that's a different level of CF entirely!

OP, not only you are amazing to help people out - and the high majority of those who get help are grateful, don't forget that, but actually wasted time and effort to humour these people! I am shocked.

Even supermarkets don't bother - you get substitutions or nothing. Allergies are one thing, taking the piss another entirely.

If you are asked to bring drinks, it means these people don't need help, they just make use of a free service.

I have heard worst, of people who refuse to PAY for the items volunteers delivered to them. Shame all these idiots are spoiling it for everybody else as usual.

When people like you volunteer to help my grand-mother, I truly am grateful.

NaturalBornWoman · 31/03/2020 19:58

It’s hardly “fucking around” is it? Unless you’re at a specialist lemonade wholesaler warehouse it’s just being in the lemonade aisle and moving your eyes up, down and side to side in their sockets?

Quite!

Similarly someone said something about vine tomatoes ( Shock demanding bastards to want nice ones!), but given they are next to the other types of tomatoes what’s the issue?

Etinox · 31/03/2020 20:03

The issue is what do you do as a volunteer if you’re looking at a display of plum and ordinary tomatoes? Phone and ask? I want to get in and out ASAP.
I think OP would have been happy and less stressed with a list like this.
•Gin (ideally Gordon’s)
•Tonic (preferably fevertree, must be diet)
•Domestos any type
Organic Cox’s if not don’t substitute etc.

FreezerBird · 31/03/2020 20:06

We're going to need to ask someone to shop for us this week and this is why I'm not planning to use a volunteer scheme. My ds has food allergies and I'm very jumpy about asking someone I don't know and who doesn't know us.

I've come across enough people who when told he's allergic to egg, milk and nuts, get cashew or almond milk when they couldn't get soya, or (and this happens a LOT and I just don't understand it) tell me everything is gluten free when that's not even one of the allergies I've told them about and half the stuff has milk traces in.

Luckily we have a few friends who I trust and are willing to shop. I'm not even using our church volunteer service as I don't know who would actually be doing the shopping.

alexdgr8 · 31/03/2020 20:06

the fact that this is causing you stress, such that you are worrying about it at night suggests to me that this role is not for you.
maybe you jumped to do it because it seemed quite simple for someone who is active and mobile, but it has brought up or magnified underlying fears, that we all have, about this uncertain situation.
you may have projected these fears onto others people's fussy shopping lists, and turned it into mild annoyance with their fussiness.
perhaps you could volunteer to do the keeping in contact by phone; that is also very appreciated by the isolated, and does not expose you to any extra risk. good luck and thank you for volunteering.

Fairygodmotherplease · 31/03/2020 20:06

I felt so embarrassed giving my dad's shopping list to a lovely volunteer however he has throat cancer and no teeth so can only eat very specific things.

JustInCaseCakeHappens · 31/03/2020 20:07

The issue is also, mainly, that's volunteers are there for essential basics!

So they have time and space to help as many people as they can! not waste 2 hours browsing for specific items CF has decided they fancy and someone can do the work for them

By all means employ someone to do your shopping if you can't find a delivery slot. There are more than enough people who could use the spare cash. Then, as a customer, you can have request.
When you are benefiting from the good will of others - who are taking a risk by going in the shop btw..., you should show basic manners and not take advantage.

The level of entitlement of some CF is out of this world.
We were missing car parking and so on, here are the new CF running!

JustInCaseCakeHappens · 31/03/2020 20:08

I felt so embarrassed giving my dad's shopping list to a lovely volunteer however he has throat cancer and no teeth so can only eat very specific things.

don't be. When it's a medical reason, it's not unreasonable! People are more than happy to help.
Raspberry lemonade and branded gin.. it's taking the piss.

Standrewsschool · 31/03/2020 20:11

I think the situation is different if the recipient has allergies or specific medical needs.

I think the op has been given a hard time on year. She has volunteered to help those in need, who are being fussy in their list.

Eg, organic gala apples, instead of gala apples

Thisisworsethananticpated · 31/03/2020 20:15

Wow that made me laugh
Very specific tastes

Organic semi skimmed not sweetened gluten free

You would not get that shit at my local coop !!!

Lollygaggles · 31/03/2020 20:17

Wow OP, you don't deserve the roasting you've got, some people can be vile on here sometimes. I'm also a volunteer, but the reasons you gave are exactly why I decided not to be a shopper and chose one of the other options. It's utterly ridiculous to expect very specific items when someone else is doing your shopping and it sounds like your first customers were clueless and selfish.

I think you have to have to focus on the spirit of what you're doing, rather than meeting each item by the letter. You have to be quick and efficient and get everything in one store and minimise the risk to yourself. You can't be popping to Waitrose for the gin and Aldi for the tonic etc. If what they're asking for is this kind of treaty stuff then I hesitate to classify them as needing your help. I'm not going to put my health and my family's health at risk because some twat can't do without a particular kind of alcohol. Awful.

Thank you for volunteering and I hope your future clients are appreciative and thankful. Flowers

PardonWhat · 31/03/2020 20:20

YANBU.
I saw screenshots earlier of a woman who had been messaging all different people that she had no cash so could they get her a list that included cigarettes!!!!
Free of charge Shock
The people she was trying to have on all found out. Shocking.

DCITennison · 31/03/2020 20:23

You are entirely reasonable, op.

Some of the responses are laughable. But we all know there are a decent amount of highly strung, needy, difficult people and those posts make them easy to spot!

If someone was doing my shopping for me I’d keep it as simple as possible. The vast majority of people would, I’m sure.

SignOnTheWindow · 31/03/2020 20:26

I am shopping for vulnerable people via a scheme and I find it much easier when people are specific.

Otherwise, I end up fretting over everything on the list wondering whether they want supermarket own brand or branded (and if so, which brand).

frumpety · 31/03/2020 20:30

What do you do if the things they have requested aren't available SignOnTheWindow ? Genuine question ?

Escapeistheonlyoption · 31/03/2020 20:34

I felt so embarrassed giving my dad's shopping list to a lovely volunteer however he has throat cancer and no teeth so can only eat very specific things.

My DH and DH are the same- they are living in bonne maman desserts! They have teeth but trashed by radiotherapy.

We are driving 2 hours a week to feed my DF, I would hate that someone shopping for him as 1 of the shielded (there is no-one shopping for him- not at all- no contact and nothing has happened- cant get any online delivery) thought he was being fussy.

GrumpyMiddleAgedWoman · 31/03/2020 20:41

I'm shopping for an elderly neighbour. His requests are quite specific but if I can't get it, I get the next-best. Unless he specifies that it's not worth it for any particular item, it's what I'll carry on doing.

He hasn't been to the shops for almost a fortnight now and hasn't much idea what it's got like.

ivykaty44 · 31/03/2020 20:43

I’m shielding another person and 3 people have offered to shop for us, I accept help from all 3 as it reduces the items any of them have to get for us. I give basic details, crackers - any type, mandarins/tangerines or similar, unsliced loaf any type or colour, flour any you can get

Each person has brought us goods we can eat and cook with.

I would hate to expose someone else being kind

I limit the list fir each shopper to 6/7 items and ask them to let us know when they are going to give me a message & I’ll send them the items