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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

to consider dd being a 'latch-key kid' at the age of 7?

301 replies

Rhubarb · 11/09/2007 17:16

Here is the problem.

dd finishes school at 3.35, same time as I finish work. I have to pick up ds and get back here, latest I arrive here is 4.30, but it's usually more like 4.15.

At the moment we are paying £10 per session for dd to attend after school club including her tea.

She has her tea at 4pm, which I feel is too early. She misses out on her meal with the rest of us. The £10 is a flat rate until 6pm but obviously she doesn't stay until then.

I feel ripped off paying £10 for my dd to be looked after for 45mins, especially if I tell them not to feed her as I want her to eat with us.

The days I am stuck for care for dd are Mondays and Tuesdays, the other days are taken care of with after school activities, which run until 4.30pm and are free.

We are considering, just considering, the possibility of giving her a key. Opinions?

OP posts:
prettybird · 12/09/2007 20:58

Not directly related to Rhubarb's problem, but more to do with the more general issues about children being allowed to go places on their own: Tigermoth's comments about the adventure playground got me thinking about the age that (at least in Glasgow) children are allowed to go swimming on their own - which is 8.

Interesting dichotomy with some of the views about the ages at which children should be allwed any independence (which is arguably what being allowed to have a short period of time at home on thier own is about).

Original poster
Rhubarb · 12/09/2007 21:05

This is so cool! I've never had such a popular thread!

Loads of ideas here so thank you.

To answer some of them, we have decided against letting dd have a key you will be relieved to hear, it was only ever a consideration and I just wanted to gage opinions and throw ideas around.

I CANNOT CHANGE MY HOURS I WORK AT A SCHOOL - just thought I'd throw that one in for stealth and smeeinnit

The school I work in is very near ds's nursery, but 7 miles from our village, so a taxi would cost more.

I now have 3 days a week when I'm stuck btw as I have discovered that there is no after school activities on a Friday. I have spoken to one mum who is sympathetic but she's not in the village, she's having dd for tea this Friday to help me out, but it's not a long term thing.

I'll speak to some more mums tomorrow. But dd goes to breakfast club at this nursery at £3.60 (she doesn't have breakfast there and is only there for 20mins), then if you add up the £10 a session for 3 days, that's £33.60 a week, charged monthly, spread over a year and divided into 12 payments working out at around £100 per month. None of that includes the childcare I have to pay for ds. So yes actually money does come into it, a lot.

There are no childminders in our village, I've already checked that out.

I'll let you know how I get on with the mums tomorrow.

OP posts:
unknownrebelbang · 12/09/2007 21:07

Good luck with the other mums tomorrow Rhubarb.

Original poster
Rhubarb · 12/09/2007 21:09

Ta. Still feeling chuffed I got so many responses!

OP posts:
foxcub · 12/09/2007 21:24

Rhubarb!!

Hope you've found everyone's input useful anyway

Original poster
Rhubarb · 12/09/2007 21:30

Yeah, you know, it's been an eye-opener!

Truly I am still in a dilemma though. My childcare bill promises to be huge, and I am resentful of paying out £100 a month for them to look after dd for minutes. It's ludicrous! Not sure what success I'll have with any of the mums though, they're not what you would call "friendly".

OP posts:
tissy · 12/09/2007 21:37

what about mears' Betty idea?

Or.....

how bout dd changing schools and going to the one that you teach at....?

Original poster
Rhubarb · 12/09/2007 21:38

'Cause I teach in secondary.

OP posts:
Tortington · 12/09/2007 21:43

is the taxi a no go then?

Tortington · 12/09/2007 21:43

eh? miss

Tortington · 12/09/2007 21:44

its on the home page. justine loves you mwa mwa

Original poster
Rhubarb · 12/09/2007 21:44

Nah mate, it'd cost around £14. I know that because when I was ill I once asked about the cost of a taxi coming from the town with some supplies for me and that's what they quoted.

I needed some Always Ultra but was too fucked to drive to the shop to get some.

I made do with paper towels.

OP posts:
Original poster
Rhubarb · 12/09/2007 21:45

It's on the home page? You shit me!

OP posts:
Original poster
Rhubarb · 12/09/2007 21:45

Wahey!

Justine loves me! Justine loves me!

OP posts:
Tortington · 12/09/2007 21:46

arse....still thinking....

tissy · 12/09/2007 21:46

damn!

I would check with taxi firms though, before writing off the idea- if it is a "quiet"time for them, and a regular booking they may do you a deal!

I had a friend who was taken to her grandma's by taxi three times a week for the length of our primary school years. That was nearly 40 yrs ago, though!

Original poster
Rhubarb · 12/09/2007 21:51

I have told the headteacher of my dilemma, she just nodded sympathetically but didn't suggest the office or anything useful.

Have I said how friendly and helpful they all are round here?

OP posts:
LoveAngel · 12/09/2007 21:52

Haven't read the whole thread hut in response to the OP - 7 yrs old is far too young to be travelling home alone and / or being home alone.

Original poster
Rhubarb · 12/09/2007 21:54

You think? I didn't think that walking 2 miles across a town centre, crossing many main roads, letting herself in, microwaving the ready meal I'd leave out for her and put herself to bed until I got in at 10pm would be too much to ask?

Hmmm, interesting.......

OP posts:
fireflyfairy2 · 12/09/2007 22:23

I'd resent paying £10 for 45 minutes too, so don't blame you!

Is there any dinner ladies who dd knows & live in the village? (long shot I know) Just mentioning this as there are 2 dinner ladies at dd's school who I see about the village & all the kids love them!

Original poster
Rhubarb · 12/09/2007 22:24

Dunno, I'll ask around tomorrow. As I say, they're not exactly forthcoming with information.

OP posts:
fireflyfairy2 · 12/09/2007 22:29

Sounds errr great?

I have yet to ask someone to take my dd to her after school club, but can't until I know what days I am in uni. At the minute I am hoping to be finished by 2pm... wishful thinking on my behalf I think!

Original poster
Rhubarb · 12/09/2007 22:30

Hmm, that's always the trouble isn't it? When you don't get your timetable until about a week before you start work you can't plan in advance.

You have my sympathies.

OP posts:
hatwoman · 12/09/2007 22:36

Local teenager sounds good. except presumably they're all in school! local care-free 19 year old? Could you put a sign up in your local shop? I think that if you mention it to as many people as possible, sooner or later you'll find someone who'll take her back to yours for half the money you're paying to the club.

JackBlackRoady · 12/09/2007 22:46

Hi Rhubarb, I am a teacher too and my son is now 12 years old. He went to two nursery schools from age 6 months to 3 and a half, then he had 5 different childminders up to age 7. When he was 7 and we moved quite close to the school he walked home with two other children and their mum to the end of our road and then let himself in. Me or DH got home between 10mins and 1.5 hours later. We always rang him and checked. He knew not to answer door and to say 'they'll ring you back, they are busy' on the phone. We had one incident, where he knocked over a lamp and it smashed on the wood floor and there was glass and it was still plugged in - he rang me straight away and although he was a bit worried, all of these i think contributed to him being a confident and competent young man! It was the right thing for us at the time. And my neighbour worked for the council in the children's services dept and she never had an issue with it. As you can see, my circumstances were so similar to yours I couldn't help but post!
And before you all start criticising me too, let me add that my son has leadership skills, confidence and a self-belief at age 12 that I wish I had when I had left school at 18, so I stand by my decision. Good luck Rhubarb! (and maybe move, your village sounds pants)