to consider dd being a 'latch-key kid' at the age of 7?

[Rhubarb]

Here is the problem.

dd finishes school at 3.35, same time as I finish work. I have to pick up ds and get back here, latest I arrive here is 4.30, but it's usually more like 4.15.

At the moment we are paying £10 per session for dd to attend after school club including her tea.

She has her tea at 4pm, which I feel is too early. She misses out on her meal with the rest of us. The £10 is a flat rate until 6pm but obviously she doesn't stay until then.

I feel ripped off paying £10 for my dd to be looked after for 45mins, especially if I tell them not to feed her as I want her to eat with us.

The days I am stuck for care for dd are Mondays and Tuesdays, the other days are taken care of with after school activities, which run until 4.30pm and are free.

We are considering, just considering, the possibility of giving her a key. Opinions?

JackBlackRoady - that's what I want to achieve for my ds. I'm sure the independence my parents gave me contributed to my own confidence and self-reliance and I feel I have a duty to try to encourage the same in ds.

Thanks pretty bird. I think there are a lot of ppl with young children on here, not a lot with older children who have actually gone through this. Anyway, as many ppl have said, it is up to you and the individual circumstances.

£10 seems extortionate. I know this probablly isn't feasible, and I'm sure you have thought of it but is there any possiblity of your daughter going to the school you work at or is it fully subscribed? Our children our the same age and I wouldn't leave my DS - I'd worry too much and he would be scared of funny noises. What would also worry me is casual callers - you know sales people, etc,etc. Your daughter may well be sensible enough not to open the door but she may get scared and unsure of what to do.

I would continue paying the £10 and mutter obsenities under my breath for another year. By then you might have got to know more people and she might have made that 'special friend' on whom you can trade afterschool pick ups. Alternatively, could you trade a breakfast or pick up with another mum - stick a notice up on a parent's board or the head teacher might know of someone. Sorry this is a bit grandmotherish and egg sucking.

She's a secondary school teacher

rhubarb, we looked into having a daily taxi to take dsd2 and a couple of other younger children to the playclub, but the taxi firms wouldn't allow it.

They said another adult had to be in the taxi with the children. The driver could not take responsibility (I suppose if a child accused the driver of any sort of abuse, the driver would have no adult witnesses). And I think at that age, an adult had to sign them into the playclub as well.

What I did was to appeal to the local council to employ more playworkers at the playclub - playworkers with escort duties. The current playworkers do a pick up from one of the local schools, but not ours which is unfair.

The other mothers also put pressure on the council. We put pressure on the playclub and also got the school, governors to write in to complain to the council as well. There is AFAIK, lots of funding floating around for wraparound childcare - in our borough, 24 new childrens centres are opening with lots of new childcare options. At our small school we see none of this, as we pointed out. Funding has been made availabe for an playworker/escort. The job ad is in the paper at the moment, so I am hoping we get a playworker/escort in the next few months.

I know this is not quite the same situation as yours but I think you need to get your local council involved. Find out how many children's centres have been built in your area, point out how much has been invested in affordable pre and after school care in neighbouring areas recently and how much you want to work, but the extortionate cost of childcare in your area is a barrier to this.

ok, had a skim through the messages - another suggestion:

Can you hire a cleaner to be at your home at school pick up times, so when your dd arrives, there is an adult presence in the house - and the adult is cleaning your house as well.. if you are going to have to pay, you might as well get more out of it.

Write to tell your local council about the inflexible £10.00 a day charge at the afterschool club, a very long shot, but they might be able to put pressure on the club to be more flexible. I think it is important you tell children's services how limited and expensive your options are.

If you have to continue with this current arrangement, find out what happens when your dd is 8 or older. Perhaps in a year or so, you can cancel any expensive arrangement you have. So keep thinking of the long term.

FWIW, in our school's newsletter, parents are told it is fine for year 5 and year 6 children to walk to and from school alone as long as they have a letter from the parents.
It is totally acceptable and expected.

Just had a thought - and this one's nothing to do with changing your hours
Is there a public library nearby where she could go and read a book / start homework for half an hour?

god I am sure someone has said this, but you don't need a childminder if the arrangement is for less than two hours a day. so another mum would work fine
I would go for the local teenager option - can you ask in the school office to see if someone knows someone? she can walk home and then the teenager can meet her there?
I used to do this a lot as a teenager by the way.

I think Rubarb has already pointed out that she would trust her 7yr old alone, much more than she would trust a teenager in her home.

This is puzzling & worrying, as from next week I am going to be in the same predicament. Though I do have a place at the after school club I have to ask someone to drive my dd there. The mother who did it last year was driving past the place on her way home, but I've not seen her yet this year, it has been her sister that picked up her little girl!

snap tigermoth about cleaner. I suggested that option earlier - that is what my mum did.
Library is a good suggestion too.

My daughter's one-to-one assistant had a similar problem as her children attend a different school.

She had to stay to the very end of the school day to help my daughter onto the school bus.

We live in a rural area too and both schools are served by the same school bus. Her answer was to get the school bus to take her children from their school at closing time and drop them off at the school where she works, then she drove home with her children in the car. They didn't have to be accommodated in the school as they only arrived as the bell went.

I'm surprised by the taxi comment. Here all children attending Gaelic medium are entitled to free school transport and often this is by taxi. This is from nursery up i.e. from age 3. I chose not to send mine by taxi because I thought they were too young, but it was my choice.

rhubarb where are you? maybe another mnetter could help?

I'm just asking the question as I don't live in the UK but is it not actually against the law to leave a child of 7 at home unsupervised, which technically she would be if she had her own key?

This has been disucssed elsewhere and not it is not against the law in the UK. Look at this link www.childrenslegalcentre.com/Templates/Topic.asp?NodeID=90323

Sorry if i am repeating what someone else has said as i have read most but not all of the thread... Just a suggestion, as there are many things that are unlikely to happen but could happen. for example an accident. How would you feel about asking one of the mums to sit with her at your house? If you live so close to the school it's not like they would be going out of there way. Just getting home later. And i'm sure your daughter would really like having a friend to play. Plus it might be easier to ask someone to have her at home rather than asking them to take her to there house twice a week.

I meant to say "Not against the law per se". If something happens and the child were deemed to been put at riskas a result of being left alone - or if it were deemed that the child had in sme way been negelected, then a prosectution is possible. But not just becaseu the child is on her own.

I have to say that at this age I would pay the £10 tell them she is not to be fed.

I occasionaly leave my 10 yr old for half an hour to 45min until his grandad gets in but not the 7 yr old. Too many variables for her to have to cope with where as I think at 10 they can deal with things a bit better, he has strict instructions not to move from the TV.

I totaly understand your problem though, I live in a small village with no afterschool care, only recently we now have 2 childminders that can't do ocassionals. Luckly MIL has moved into the village soit makes some things a bit easier. But if I had the option of the nurseries after school care I would use that for a few years yet.

Right well today I went into her school and made enquiries. The headmistress said she knew of no-one who could help. The playground assistant said she would offer to help but she already runs her children to various activities such as swimming and so on, I did say that perhaps dd could go swimming with hers but she didn't seem keen. She already takes dd to French club on a Weds for me.
I asked a couple of mums, they all said they were busy enough as it was.

Once again, I would not trust a teenager to look after dd. No way.

There is no corner shop to advertise in.

Getting in touch with the council seems like a good idea. I'll certainly think about that.

But so far I'm up against a brick wall. My monthly cost for dd, I worked out, will be £136, ds's bill will be £57 and he's being looked after for more hours than dd.

I'm very downhearted that there are no mums willing to help.

Is there a local paper you could adverstise for a cleaner in - following up mears' suggestion? That way, you also get a clean house!

If you got any applicants, you could then tell them it would also involve "supervising" your dd - or at least being in the house while she was there.

Alternatively, advertise explicitly for someone to come to the hosue - it wold probably be cheaper than your Out of School Club.

Bloody hell, you must be pissed off. That's a lot of money when you add it all up. I don't know why the after school club are being so inflexible.

Will rack brains (what's left of 'em) but it does look like a brick wall.

My house is too small to clean.

And would you trust a cleaner to look after your dd? Would she charge extra? Would I need to have her checked by the CRB?

You know, giving her a key is actually safer in some respects than some of the suggestions here.

rhubarb while i understand you wouldn't want to put on here what school your dd goes to, there could be a mner at your school without you realising who might be willing to help. perhaps you could say what area you are in and any other mners in that area who could help you out could cat you and then you could see if its the same school?

na, there isn't. Trust me. Most people know whereabouts I live.

But for the record, if you live in the Carlisle area, say so now.

lol no i don't. if i did i'd be there in a shot.

how about asking in the local nurseries. the nursery nurses often do babysitting outside of work for the parents.