to consider dd being a 'latch-key kid' at the age of 7?

[Rhubarb]

Here is the problem.

dd finishes school at 3.35, same time as I finish work. I have to pick up ds and get back here, latest I arrive here is 4.30, but it's usually more like 4.15.

At the moment we are paying £10 per session for dd to attend after school club including her tea.

She has her tea at 4pm, which I feel is too early. She misses out on her meal with the rest of us. The £10 is a flat rate until 6pm but obviously she doesn't stay until then.

I feel ripped off paying £10 for my dd to be looked after for 45mins, especially if I tell them not to feed her as I want her to eat with us.

The days I am stuck for care for dd are Mondays and Tuesdays, the other days are taken care of with after school activities, which run until 4.30pm and are free.

We are considering, just considering, the possibility of giving her a key. Opinions?

going to be really blunt here but imo YAB(very)U for even considering this
i personally would much rather pay £10 for 45mins then send my 7 yr old home alone. i would worry myself sick every day.
just my opinion though!

could she go home with a friend on those two days ? And you pick her up from there.

I thought there was some age at under which you weren't supposed to leave kids on their own - I thought it was older than 7.

Sorry I'll start again I've re-read the thread!

I actually think that it's what you really want to do, so why not? If you can get a Mum to always make sure she goes from gate to front door it is possible. Dd may like it too, and feel grown up and responsible.

I would think that for safety's sake it may be better to have someone with her though.

Sorry but I wouldnt even consider it at that age. (see my other thread today about being burgled - you just never know whats going to happen).

The £10 IS annoying (I use an afterschool club too) but if there's no one else to look after your dd then I think the 20 quid a week is an essential cost.

I wouldn't, but that is because I have been held up, very significantly, before now. In fact, once I was stuck in snow for four hours, as was DH.

rhubarb i agree with mrs marvel think it would be ok as long as someone watched her in there is always the possibility that someone could watch her going home alone but that is one of those things that could happen anyway

pay the money

get her looked after properly

be a responsible parent

never thought of the burglar thing to be honest its proberbly best not to just to be on the safe side if anything were to happen how would you feel i bet you would not care about the ten quid then !!

Well, I dunno.

For the record, I work in a school and I cannot finish until 3.35pm, the same time dd finishes.

The nursery will not be flexible, the tenner is a standard rate for the session.

There are no teenagers nearby. And tbh I'd trust dd far more than I'd trust a teenager.

There are no other nurseries that would collect her from school, this is the only one in the local area which is why they can afford to be so fascist.

I'm trying to get dd into baking club on a Tuesday so I'd only have the Monday to worry about.

I'm sure I can get a mother to see dd to the front door as it is only the other side of the road from the school.

I am positive my dd would not touch a thing apart from the telly.

However whether or not she'd be comfortable is another issue. I don't know. She doesn't know. She's unsure. We might try it once and see how she gets on.

The other issue with the nursery is paying monthly by direct debit, and I have to give them 4 weeks notice if dd decides not to attend anymore. So even though another child would more than likely take her place (as it's the only local nursery it is oversubscribed), I'd still have to pay for dd so they would get two payments for one session.

I feel this is unfair as I've had the nursery owner's little girl round loads of times to play I never charged them for the priviledge! She's never returned the favour either. So it's not just about the money, I'm angry that they feel in a position to monopolise the situation.

sobernow, I'd worry too. I guess I could give her my mobile and tell her to call me if she is at all worried.

If it were me (I think I'm in a tiny minority here!!?) I would allow it when she was 8, but not when she's still just 7. And work on resolving safety issues in the meantime.... and consider a childminder instead, too.

I still think the school club is best option - you say you want her at home with you all but then say that she will possibly be going to an after school activity 4 days out of 5 anyway.

Are you a teacher? or classroom asst? How feasable is it to get work elsewhere?

You cant seriously think that they should give you mates rates at the nursery just coz you had their child round to paly a few times. They're running a business!

You seem set on it, so why not give it a go whilst still trying to sort something long term.

don't leave her

please

7's too young

childminder a possibility?

don't feel ripped off knowing your dd is safe, consider it a neccesity

i can see the frustration with the nursery person not returning the favour with visits etc but i think youve just got to set that aside and put your daughters well being above anything else.

I dont have any family close by either and childcare has taken a huge part of salary over the last few years. the afterschool club in particular drives me mad because the food they serve is awful, its expensive and there is absolutely no flexibility.

BUT the cost is as essential as it is for me to pay petrol to get to work. If they didnt go there then I couldnt work.

The hassle of being a working mum is endless but I just dont theres anyway round this until your daughter (and my sons ) are older.

I was a latchkey kid at 9. I hated it. I was scared in the house alone, especially on dark winter evenings. That would be one of my top worries if I were you. 7 is far too young to have to be so responsible IMO.

and i think 8 is too young too. (for a pre arranged/ organised thing - not just popping out for 2 mins to post a letter)

Ive just realised this is the first topic on MN that Ive ever made an actual 'judgement statement' on something. Im normally very wishy washy liberal about everything.

So must be something i feel strongly about.

Hi Rhubarb, I don't think you are being unreasonable for asking the question. You know your own child and some 7 year olds can be much more mature than a lot of 10 year olds. My 9 year old is allowed to stay in the house by herself sometimes - in fact, I work 3 days a week, also in a school, and I leave at 8 am with ds2 (5). Dd and her brother, aged 11, leave for school at 8.30 and have a 3 minute walk or cycle by themselves.

I do think I would have been unhappy leaving them alone in the house at 7 years old though. Saying that, my dad worked away from home when I was a kid and my mum had a cleaning job every week night. My brother and I (I was 8 and he was 2 ) stayed home alone with our next door neighbour checking on us now and then. Nowadays, people would call SS but then it was not so unusual, at least in my neighbourhood!

Rhubarb I too feel that 7 is too young. Should something unexepected happen she may not know how to cope. And I think you would worry every second about her until you got home so perhaps paying for the after school club for a while longer would be worth the peace of mind it will give you. Can understand your frustration though.

I haven't read the whole post (too long) so apologies if repeating but wanted to comment as a similar thing happened to me with my 11 yr old 2 yrs ago.
Our regular cm didn't take mindees once at 2ndry school as it didn't work with her other mindees, which I understood, but it left me in a dilemma - dd assured me she would be fine walking back from school with a key and for the 1st few days it was ok (I got back from work at 5.10). One day I was 10 mins late (unavoidable temp. traffic lights), I put the key in the door to be confronted with her peeping round the kitchen wall looking scared out of her wits, in tears. That gave me the answer; she thought she was ok but she clearly wasn't and I hadn't been able to relax and concentrate at work anyway as I was worried.
The upshot of it all was, I went to the boss and told her what had happened. She was very understanding and let me change my hours to fit in with school, I took a very slight pay cut and finished at 3.30 for 4 days; arriving home at the same time dd1 did.

One day a week I worked until 6/7 and dd went to a friend's for tea, I did the same for her friend one day a week and it all worked out in the end.

All children are different and you are the only one who knows your dd, but I think 7 might be too young really. Workplaces now have to be flexible for people with children so consider (if poss) changing your hours.

I did similar when I was 9. My parents split up, and dm had to go back to work, as a teacher. So she finished work when my school kicked out.
On the one hand, I had much much further to walk. On my own because my brothers were at secondary school. On the other hand, my brothers were generally home when I was there, although sometimes not.
Can distinctly remember my mother getting cross if I hadn't done the washing up - but they were different times. I'm not convinced that the world is less safe, particularly when you're talking about such a short journey and such a short time - rather that one is perhaps a bit more likely to worry about what other parents would think.
Also, there is a big difference between 7 and 9, after all.

I couldn't leave my 8 year old, partly because she would not be happy!

I think the world IS a different place. Not necessarily more dangerous but different. More people knocking on doors trying to sell things. (and putting the child into that position where they feel like they have to hide behind the sofa because they cant answer the door).

Fewer neighbours watching out for local children etc etc

Childminders are great (I've just become one lol) and the childminding board on here will give you answers to any queries you may have. It would definitely be cheaper.

Thanks for all the answers.

It was a question and not a done deal, there are many many things I would worry about.

Just to address getyourownjuice's point - the after school activities run until 4.30pm, an ideal time. The after school club runs until 6pm, they feed them at 4pm and there is no flexibility there at all.

I understand the point you are all making about safety being the key issue. Tbh that would be an issue anyway as, if one of her after school activities is cancelled for whatever reason, as the nursery is oversubscribed I would struggle finding her any after school care, in fact, I don't know what we would do.

It's a juggling act as it is.

But yes, the house will be dark and cold in the winter so obviously we need to re-think. I'll make enquiries, see if I can't advertise on the school noticeboard or something. The only problem is that not many of the children who go to the school live here in the village. Hence dd has no friends locally to play with.

I'll have to do something before I get tied into this monthly thing the nursery have going. Even if I do find something else, I'd have to pay them 4 weeks notice anyway!