to consider dd being a 'latch-key kid' at the age of 7?

[Rhubarb]

Here is the problem.

dd finishes school at 3.35, same time as I finish work. I have to pick up ds and get back here, latest I arrive here is 4.30, but it's usually more like 4.15.

At the moment we are paying £10 per session for dd to attend after school club including her tea.

She has her tea at 4pm, which I feel is too early. She misses out on her meal with the rest of us. The £10 is a flat rate until 6pm but obviously she doesn't stay until then.

I feel ripped off paying £10 for my dd to be looked after for 45mins, especially if I tell them not to feed her as I want her to eat with us.

The days I am stuck for care for dd are Mondays and Tuesdays, the other days are taken care of with after school activities, which run until 4.30pm and are free.

We are considering, just considering, the possibility of giving her a key. Opinions?

what a fab rounded person you are - to ask the question - then look at all the responses and really take notice of them.

Sorry that sounds very patronising but its not meant to.!)

IMO it's way too young. I had a key from 11 and hated coming home to an empty house - especially a cold and dark empty house in winter. I never said anything about it at the time. But remembering how it felt, I've already decided that although I will be working - somehow or another - that is not going to happen to dd. Jill

can you change your working hours?

sorry, couldn't resist!

Missed your last post - glad to hear that. Very good idea to thrash the idea out though - afterall, many of us have BTDT at as children. Jill

i really think you should ask your work if you can change your hours!

oops stealth! x'd posts!

smeeint get behind me in the slap line

yeah you take one first,rhubarb may be warn out by the time she gets to me!

hi rhubarb, your son is the same age as mine, and i must admit i wouldnt let him walk home on his own. i dont know your financial situation so please forgive me if u r on tight budget, but i dont think £10 expensive. have u considered a childminder? (im one, and look after 3 after school £4.25 ph) worth a thought. but please dont let him walk home on his own. good luck. x

I think you're making a good call by ruling out the 'latch-key kid' option. My teenage dd fell down the stairs when I was out and mangled her ankle. She was old enough to know we'd home soon but I think a 7yo would be panic-stricken in the same situation. Also, my friend had an unpleasant visit from Social Services when someone (she never found out who) told them her 3dc, aged 8, 10 & 12 were home alone for 45mins some afternoons.

As to finding help, what about putting notices up at school/pub/clinic/playgroups, and in the local/parish newsletter? Make a little flier to hand out to people, so that word gets round and a Mary Poppins appears for you!

I've consulted with my 10 and 12 year dds (who are just becoming latch key kids). They helpfully pointed out the current legislation. And remarked "if she is put up to it, it will be a lot scarier than it seems, she doesn't really want to do it. It all depends if someone is home and waiting".

At 7 I don't think she should be letting herself in. IMO it isn't safe in the age we live. Anyone could be watching and it wouldn't take much for someone to notice her home alone. Its asking for trouble. Ask yourself these questions

1. Is it worth compromising her safety for the sake of £10?
2. How would you feel if something happened to her while nobody was looking after her?
3. Is there any mum who lives close by who could take her to their house for 3/4 hour on those days in return for a favour such as babysitting so they can go out etc.

DP's mother worked full time and expected him from the age of SIX to be a latch key kid AND take responsibility for his brother 18 months younger than him. He has told me that on at least two occasions they came home and couldn't work out why they could not put a video on. The house had been burgled. I cry when I think about it, as they could have disturbed the burglar, he could still have been in the house.

I cannot understand why after the first time this happened, his mother ever let them come home alone, but it carried on till they left school. They didn't really need the money but his mother is very materialistic and will say she 'needed to work' to fund their 3 hols a year and caravan in Wales!

They had tons of family in the area but I think that as she went back to work when each child was 3 months old and had family looking after her kids full time for free for the first few years. they all got fed up so she just did without any child care.

and - I think YABU to the after school club, if every parent wanted to just pay for the minutes the child is there or meals they have or not, the place would be in chaos and probably close down so no one can use it.

£10 a day to ensure that your child never comes home to a burglar?

FJyou are right, we've been burgled twice recently and my blood runs cold thinking about my dds being in the house at the time.

Rhubs has said she has decided it's not an option.

I was a latchkey child for two afternoons a week from the age of 7/8. I also cycled two miles home from school on my own. I loved having the house to myself for two hours, and didn't do anything more dreadful than read my books or watch TV. The question has never arisen with my Dds, although DD1 (8) is desperate for us to go out and leave them in the house on my own. I do give mine a lot more freedom than a lot of people on this thread, it seems. They go to the shop on their own, the park on their own (both crossing roads) and go out and play in the fields on their own. I worry (minorly) about traffic when they are crossing the road, but if they don't learn now, when will they? I don't worry about paedophiles and abduction and don't get all this obsession that you have with it in the UK. Statistically, there are no more paedophiles around than when I was a child. You can't wrap your children in cotton wool forever. I'd give it a go and see how it went.

Soooo glad to hear that lovemygirls

DD1 also makes tea and toast and has not managed to scald herself or burn the house down yet.

"In the age we live..." FFS...

I wouldn't do it. I think it would make her feel frightened and vulnerable, however much she said she didn't mind. 7 is very young. I think perhaps you see her as being extra sensible and mature because you have a 3.5 year old.

Yes I know Rhubarb has said she won't be doing it now, but we all like to have our twopennorth in and I like to have a moan about my mil's parenting skills

Dh let himself in from the age of 6. His school ended at 3.15 & his mum was at college studying until 4pm. He said he went in, turned on the TV & sat there until his mum came home!

He must always have been very mature though, as when he was 7 he was walking himself & his 5yr old sister home from school. At 11 he would start dinner for his mum coming home & at 15/16 he was babysitting for neighbours & also cooking dinner most nights.

I see you have decided against it though, what are you going to do? Personally I think £10 is a bit much for 45 minutes!!!

Just a thought & maybe you won't want to ask, but maybe it is an option... The teachers around here stay on about an hour after school preparing work or marking work. I know of one little girl in dd's class that stays on until 4pm as her mum is a teacher in another school.. is it worthwhile asking if dd could sit in a room with a teacher who is preparing work?

I have to be back at uni next week & as I don't yet know my hours, I have no idea what I am going to do with dd. She is out of school at 2pm & although there is an after school club, it is 2 miles away & I need someone to take her there! Last year her friend's mum took here there, but I haven't seen her yet this year!!!!

Good Luck in whatever you decide to do.. as others have said, if I were near you I wouldn't think twice of taking her in for half an hour!

Hm...surely paying £20 a week for childcare is not all that much.
I personally think a 7 year old is to young!
Howeve,r I can also understand how you feel £10 for only 45 minutes is annoying...maybe she could stay at friends house on those days?

Sorry MrsSchdaenfreude, children of 8 have more road sense. Children do not begin to accurately just distance of moving objects until at least 7. There are more deaths of children in road traffic accidents walking than any other accident. I think that says everything. Anyway, its all fine when there are no problems, but as has been pointed out they could walk into a burgalry, fall down the stairs and break limbs with no help around, could be abducted, then that could result in social services involvement. Because dd/ds may then go to a neighbour for help and the obvious question would be 'where is your mum?' to which dd/ds will give an honest answer, which in turn will open a can of worms. Is it worth it?

Haven't read the rest of the thread but personally no I wouldn't do it.

Could you make an arrangement with another parent? A reciprocal play date perhaps, so no money changes hands and it's legal?

Shall we send kids of 7 back down the mines instead of getting an education too..... times change Mrs S. That used to happen in the good old days too.