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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

To leave husband during lockdown

619 replies

MWallsb · 29/03/2020 21:53

Currently living with my husband in a remote area far away from any of my family and friends, who are all in London where I’m from originally. Since getting married last year and subsequently moving to my husband’s hometown, he’s become abusive both physically and mentally. Prior to lockdown, things were just about manageable as he’d spend long hours at work and often worked away for extended periods of time. For the last two weeks, he’s been WFH and things have become unbearable. My anxiety is through the roof and I don’t feel able to cope in the home. It has dawned on me that I need to leave the marriage sooner rather than later. I’m lucky enough to have a great support network of family and friends, however, all are in London. My sister who lives in central London and has asked me to pack my things and travel up to stay with her for my safety until the lockdown is over, after which time I can then look at a longer term plan.

I’m of course aware of the very strict rules in place at the moment with regards to non essential travel. From what I’ve read, it’s acceptable to leave home if travelling to a refuge, but it’s not permissible to leave home to stay with family elsewhere. I have both a car or a train station nearby to get me in to central London, but it’s a 2 hour journey and I’m seeing all over the news about the police stopping people to ask for evidence as to why they are travelling and issuing fines/forcing them to return back home if their reason for travelling is not permissible etc.

If I were to leave, it would have to be without my husband knowing (in the night or making a quick getaway whilst he’s out of the house). I’m terrified I might attempt to travel in to London and be stopped or forced to return home again which would have awful implications for me. I suppose I’m just looking for some advice really in terms of what to do or what others would do in my situation. I feel in desperate need of family support, but at the same time the last thing I need is to get in trouble with the law. TIA

OP posts:
MadeForThis · 29/03/2020 23:51

Good luck x

Loodally · 29/03/2020 23:53

You're amazing op.
I'm going to keep thinking about you, please do update us when you can.
Best of luck Flowers

Purpletigers · 29/03/2020 23:54

Best of luck x

incognitomum · 29/03/2020 23:55

Good luck and wishing you a safe journey Flowers

Excited101 · 29/03/2020 23:56

Yes op, go! It’s essential. Please let us know when you’re safe.

OhioOhioOhio · 29/03/2020 23:56

Email the police so there is a paper trail.

fruitbat2008 · 29/03/2020 23:57

Please go you can do it good luck Flowers

Whatthecrepe · 29/03/2020 23:58

Best of luck op, you deserve happiness! Hope it goes smoothly, stay safe x

OldGranvilleHouse · 29/03/2020 23:59

Yes, please go. Travel as safely as you can, avoiding people/observing 2m rule, and go and live with your family until the lockdown is over. It’s far too risky staying with him.

Hamsterriffic · 30/03/2020 00:00

Good luck OP. Will be thinking of you tomorrow....

morriseysquif · 30/03/2020 00:03

Screenshot your original Op, email to yourself or even ask HQ to email the thread if you intend to close your account then revisit when you need strength.

Think of your future, happy without him. Smile

Bouledeneige · 30/03/2020 00:05

Wishing you the best of luck OP. Get to safety. We are all rooting for you.

Minesacider · 30/03/2020 00:07

I'll be thinking of you, OP. You're going to be OK Flowers

Fiveletters · 30/03/2020 00:07

I hope you get away safely.

H1ghC0r0na · 30/03/2020 00:12

No one anywhere would class this as NON essential travel and if they did, I would challenge their sanity not yours.
Leave.

mrsm12 · 30/03/2020 00:13

Best of luck op x

CobraPushUp · 30/03/2020 00:14

Good luck x

Lovebug06 · 30/03/2020 00:14

Good luck op. You can do this x

Rhapsodyinpurple · 30/03/2020 00:15

Good luck. Will be thinking of you.

GreenTulips · 30/03/2020 00:17

Turn your phone off in awe there’s a tracker

puds11 · 30/03/2020 00:19

Hope you are ok @MWallsb

Nomorerainplease · 30/03/2020 00:22

Thinking of you OP. You’ve got this.
You won’t need any proof so don’t worry about the email thing. Just go. X

MysticMeghan · 30/03/2020 00:26

Good luck OP. Don't update us until you are somewhere safe x

TheMobileSiteMadeMeSignup · 30/03/2020 00:29

Good luck OP.

WingingItSince1973 · 30/03/2020 00:34

Please go. This is essential travel and I cant imagine you being stopped and questioned but if so then you explain you are a victim of abuse and are going to a safe house. Have been so worried about women/men in your situation and was relieved to see that rules of travel are different for you. Please please goto your sisters x

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