To think everyone is going to get very fed up with all this?

[cantata]

The thought of John Lewis dumping a washer-dryer on my doorstep and expecting me to remove the old (integrated) one and carry and plumb in the new one makes me wonder.

AIBU to think we're going to get fed up with this social distancing malarkey before very long?

(I hate it anyway, as I need people around me for my sanity. And not my teenagers 24/7).

To be honest... it could be a lot worse. Could be like Southern Italy where people aren’t getting help with money and slowly starving. We should count ourselves lucky!

We're all in the same boat. Not ideal but hardly a hardship at the moment.

Hahahaha!

Yes, me sat in my small 1-bed flat at the same table as my husband all day is exactly the same as Kate Middleton and William isolating in Anmer Hall with a ginormous amount of land. We're all in the same boat.

I'm starting to think this could be the beginning of the end for the royals, if civil unrest and food shortages start.

However, there is a gulf between understanding and knowing something, and being in a frame of mind where it actually matters. It's hard to explain to anyone who hasn't experienced it

And those of us who HAVE experienced it and also looked after many hundreds of others who have also felt suicidal, are allowed to give a different viewpoint on things. The whole point with depression is that thinking is skewed.

By nature, depression and addictions are inherently self absorbed illnesses. That isn't the fault of the sufferer and bears no relation to their personality when they are well.

But that doesn't mean that it's unfair for others to point out when a persons MH HAS made them magnify their own problems to an unhealthy degree.

A good question to ask yourselves is "do I want to die or do I want the pain of this situation to end"? 95% of the time it is the latter. Sadly, for the children and families of those who choose suicide, there is never an end to the pain. They have to bear the permanent solution to the suicidal persons temporary problem.

People are going to have to draw very deeply on their coping skills to get through this, and contact people online etc as much as possible. Its hard but it isn't impossible. You CAN do this

where people aren’t getting help with money

I'm not getting any help at all, as it happens. I fall between every possible stool, typically. I have precisely nil income now.

SirChing, much food for thought, there. Thank you. I re-wrote the post you have quoted several times. I used the word 'selfish' in one draft (to characterise my own behaviou), then deleted it all because I didn't want to sound as if I was saying that all MH problems are selfish. A "self-absorbed illness" is a far better way to put it.

Tradespeople can come into your house to do essential repairs. If your old washing machine is outright broken then fixing or replacing it would qualify. If JL are refusing to fit it you'll need to find a different plumber.

If on the other hand you ordered a new one because the old one's kind of crap but still works, that's not essential. Push it into a corner somewhere and wait until this virus thing is over before you get it installed.

(And sorry for not reading the full thread.)

@cantata You can get through this. Sometimes, writing lists of all the practical things that can and need to be done is helpful. It provides a focus. So anything worrying, write it down and think if there is something practical you can do.

No income? UC claim online. Go into "entitled to" website and see how much benefit you may be eligible for.

Making a list of friends and family phone numbers, and planning who you will contact when may also help.

Joining community pages on Facebook can help. Both in terms of what practical assistance is available where you live, and in terms of feeling a part of something. Many mental health charities are also doing Facebook talks etc.

It is crap at the moment, but you are teaching your kids how to cope with shitty unpredictable circumstances. And keeping going and looking for solutions is what will help THEM be able to face similar in the future without them feeling suicidal too. You can be their best example of strength

Cantata, I hear you.

PS for all those with kids who are contemplating suicide, did you know that children of parents who die by suicide are massively more likely to die that way themselves?

The thing about depression is that it isn't rational. The disease by its nature attacks the patient's capacity for thinking about others.

A good question to ask yourselves is "do I want to die or do I want the pain of this situation to end"? 95% of the time it is the latter.

This question is actually a very effective suicide prevention tool. The problem comes when you cannot see a way to end the pain without ending your life. Lockdown has taken away a lot of people's options for alleviating the pain.

Sadly, for the children and families of those who choose suicide, there is never an end to the pain.

One of the hallmarks of depression is that you start thinking that your family would be better off without you. Another hallmark is that you start thinking that people are lying about wanting you around and secretly hate you. Major depression is a really destructive illness and it sneaks up on you like a stealth bomber.

Launderettes are actually on esential businesses list.Can you send one of your teenagers there?

OP, I think you shouldn't have given up the washing machine if yours isn't working, though - if you couldn't pay you own plumber, maybe he'd accept credit or part payment

@cantata can I ask why you can't claim UC? Surely with zero income you are eligible?

One of the hallmarks of depression is that you start thinking that your family would be better off without you. Another hallmark is that you start thinking that people are lying about wanting you around and secretly hate you. Major depression is a really destructive illness and it sneaks up on you like a stealth bomber

Totally agree. It's a shitty illness that lies to the people who have it and makes them believe there is no hope. But that's why it's sometimes important to state the facts in black and white to sufferers. When depression is telling a person negative lies, as many people as possible need to point out the lies, and state the truth, of the situation.

I would strongly encourage anyone who is struggling with their mental health to phone their GP. Medication and/or counselling can help. As can eating healthily and exercise. I know it feels like being at the bottom of a well with no ladder. I get it. But there is a ladder. Depression is just preventing you from seeing it at the moment. Its a bastard. for all suffering.

Thanks for the honest post, @JovialNickname.

The whole sodding situation sucks. It really shouldn't be hard for all of us to unify around that sentiment.

Thank you, Marginal.

And you, SirChing. I'm going to re-read your posts properly later.

Max, I am not eligible for any benefits at all, though would prefer not to divulge too much about that side of things (no savings to speak of, though). So I currently have high outgoings (have reduced all that can be reduced) and no incomings.

@cantata Ok, if you are down to no money, what about writing to your MP for advice? In my area there are volunteer places on Facebook that you can sign up to and they will drop food and essentials round. Your local council will also have details of organisations that can help. If the teens have cash of their own, this is the time they need to part with it. They can always have it back when finances improve in future. Have you spoken to your bank re payment holidays, overdraft facilities and credit card levels?

There is so much that can practically be done. It's bloody hard work, yes, but it's doable. If you say what area you are in, I am perfectly willing to look for services in your area that can help you. Or get your teens onto it too.

You CAN do this. You are important and needed

Thank you, SirChing. That is very kind of you.

Some years ago, I borrowed any money that might have belonged to the DC (intending to pay it back once they turn 18, but haven't quite managed that yet).

I have got a couple of interest free credit cards and have put a couple of massive monthly outgoings on hold temporarily, so can survive for the time being (not ideal, but not impossible) and definitely don't deserve to take from anyone else. It would also sit very badly with me, given that I do have assets, albeit not realisable at the moment, when some people really do have absolutely nothing.

I might sign up to Facebook, though, to see what's going on. I don't use social media, but this might be the time to start.

@cantata that sounds like a good plan. It really does help with feelings of isolation. I tend not to follow many people in there unless they are really positive people who make me laugh. Tends to be mostly community stuff.

Most councils have a Money Advice Service attached to them. They are great to talk through individual circumstances with and get tailor made advice from. MAS also give generic advice online.

You can do all this and will feel like superwoman at the end of this! But having got this far, you are already at least Wonder Woman

Not hard to plumb in.... can be difficult to manoeuvre over doorstep maybe but not impossible

Well if you had a vulnerable family member I'd expect you'd be more patient with it 🤷‍♂️

If that’s your only concern at the moment I’d be grateful. Do you not think everyone’s mental health stands to suffer because of this?

Can those of us who want to not just sign an affidavit to declare we don't want NHS treatment and just go out there,get the disease , hope we have it mild then either die or get on with living. At some point, we will all have ot go out there and t he diseas is not going anywhere.

I'm starting to think this could be the beginning of the end for the royals, if civil unrest and food shortages start.

Beijing there are plenty of other people in nice houses with land. Will they also be on the receiving end of civil unrest? Are you hoping for a revolution?

They say opinions are like arseholes, everyone has one... But yours stinks!

Who cares if selfish cnuts, who are fed up with restrictions or their teenagers etc, go out socializing as normal and that their actions lead to some extra deaths... However, I do recommend those selfish cnuts visiting their own elderly/vulnerable family members and if they infect them to live with that knowledge! But being a selfish cnut would they even care?

This situation is awful from every perspective ... yes people will die from Covid 19 and we have to be in lockdown to prevent this and flatten the curve. But I don’t think you can underplay the mental health epidemic that will follow, and with both adult and child mental health services being stripped back to the bare minimum that won’t cope with the numbers of people that will need help. On top of that you have the deaths from the economic fallout too and possibly gang violence and civil unrest.

Only weeks ago we were talking about being kind... this thread seems devoid of compassion.