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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

To not want to pay for my wedding dress right now?

139 replies

GirlWithABrokenSmile · 28/03/2020 18:26

My wedding dress was due in early March. With the situation in China, it was delayed, and finally arrived on Monday night. I was asked to collect it at 7am on Tuesday, wearing gloves and a mask, and try it on at home under the circumstances.

Then we went into lockdown. Wedding was cancelled. We've put a claim in with our wedding insurance, who have told us that we'll invalidate the claim if we make any further payments while they are investigating. They also told us that my dress is not currently covered, as they only cover wedding attire once you've collected it and it's in your possession.

The shop have sent me a video message today asking me to bank transfer the 50% remaining, pointing to a T&C which says that the remaining moneys are due on collection or 7 days after the dress arrives in any event. I replied saying I'd believed I needed to pay on collection and wasn't aware of this term when I bought as the T&Cs are only available on the back of my receipt, but they've said these are unprecedented times for everyone but I need to pay.

Things are tight right now. Fiancé was laid off the day before the support kicked in. My business is struggling. We need the insurance money to be able to get married again. We feel very stuck, and I'm really emotional (rightly or wrongly!). I've also got bipolar; which is not coping great with the current situation.

Is it unreasonable to respond and ask to pay when I collect the dress when we're allowed out again and insurance is all sorted?

OP posts:
HuntIdeas · 28/03/2020 18:29

YABU

The shop have already provided the dress and deserve to be paid. Surely you can still wear that dress when you eventually get married?

ChewChewIsMySpiritAnimal · 28/03/2020 18:29

It's not the shop's fault money is tight for you. You ordered it, you need to pay for it.

Wolfiefan · 28/03/2020 18:31

YABU.

ComeOnEileen11 · 28/03/2020 18:32

It's not unreasonable to ask and to explain your circumstances and try and reach an amicable resolution. Did they not explain their terms and conditions on the booking? Have you checked the order form?

youngerthanyellow · 28/03/2020 18:32

Yabu sadly. The shop have already paid for your dress. You need to pay them

GirlWithABrokenSmile · 28/03/2020 18:33

@HuntIdeas The shop haven't provided the dress... They've told me that it's there but they are closed for 12 weeks and furloughed. I have not seen it.

@ChewChewIsMySpiritAnimal Even if I haven't got it? What happens if there's something wrong with it when I can pick it up in 12 weeks?

If I pay for the dress and it stops the insurance claim, we'll lose thousands. The dress isn't worth that much. If the insurance settle first, we won't, and I'll get to see the dress before I pay for it. That makes sense in my head.

But if everyone things IABU, I'll sort out paying them tonight.

OP posts:
Thisismytimetoshine · 28/03/2020 18:33

Of course you have to pay for it Hmm

MumofTinies · 28/03/2020 18:33

YABU, you need to stick to the contract you willingly entered. I'm sorry you're wedding has been postponed but that really isn't the shop's problem. Save it for when you do get married.

yellowfishes · 28/03/2020 18:34

Call the insurance people and ask what you should do.

Soulstirring · 28/03/2020 18:35

I’m not sure id pay before seeing to be honest. You wouldn’t under any other circumstance so why would you now? Very difficult for all parties.

Wattagoose90 · 28/03/2020 18:36

YABU.

Although maybe ask the shop if you can make a partial payment and then the final sum on collection if things really are that right? They'll be within their rights to say no though.

As previous posters have said, you'll still be wearing the dress in the event of rescheduling so I doubt your insurance would cover this anyway?

HermioneWeasley · 28/03/2020 18:37

I wouldn’t pay for it without seeing it

MakeItRain · 28/03/2020 18:38

I actually think you shouldn't pay for it until you've seen it/collected it. For all you know they might not even have it. Or it might have a massive flaw that by paying for it, you are saying you accept it. I would reply in writing saying you are unwilling to pay for a dress you are unable to see or confirm has genuinely arrived and ask how they are going to rectify this.

GirlWithABrokenSmile · 28/03/2020 18:38

Okay, looks like IABU! Thanks all. I genuinely can't think of when I'd pay for anything else without seeing it, so I wasn't sure here. I'll sort out paying.

@yellowfishes Insurance have been clear that I should not pay, but I don't want to screw the shop over.

Save it for when you do get married.
That's the plan, as long as it's the right dress in the right size etc, and all the lace and stuff is fine. I just wanted to see it first.

OP posts:
Nicelunch25 · 28/03/2020 18:38

I wouldn't be paying for it either. You can't leave the house unless you are exercising or going for essential supplies.

OlaEliza · 28/03/2020 18:38

I wouldn't pay without seeing it.

Serenity45 · 28/03/2020 18:39

YANBU to not pay for something you haven't had a chance to inspect.

OhhhPeee · 28/03/2020 18:39

How will the insurance company know you’ve paid for the dress? If you’re planning to go ahead you might as well get it. How much do you owe them?

Greenkit · 28/03/2020 18:40

I wouldn't pay until I had seen the dress

user1493494961 · 28/03/2020 18:40

I wouldn't pay for it without seeing it.

Wattagoose90 · 28/03/2020 18:41

On second thought, I retract my previous comment. I also wouldn't pay without seeing it.

toomuchpeppapig · 28/03/2020 18:42

I wouldn't pay for it until I'd seen it. No way. What if it's the wrong dress entirely? It's not your fault that the shop has closed and we're on lockdown. The shop will have to wait until they reopen and you can see the dress in person before you pay them. Everyone is being pinched, including you. If you pay the money and it's not right, you'll have little to no recourse on it. Don't pay until you know it's right.

Hannah021 · 28/03/2020 18:44

They must also be struggling financially... You too need to understand their circumstances, and just do as agreed in the contract. You have a struggling business, and im sure you can relate to their position. And just remember karma doesnt forget.

The insurance already told you that the dress isnt covered anyway... So lets put that aside (unless im missing something?)

TTTs · 28/03/2020 18:46

Don't risk losing thousands to pay the shop! If you have already paid 50% you are just giving them profit anyway!

Albern · 28/03/2020 18:50

Yanbu, dont pay for it yet, you haven't seen it .

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