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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

To not want to pay for my wedding dress right now?

139 replies

GirlWithABrokenSmile · 28/03/2020 18:26

My wedding dress was due in early March. With the situation in China, it was delayed, and finally arrived on Monday night. I was asked to collect it at 7am on Tuesday, wearing gloves and a mask, and try it on at home under the circumstances.

Then we went into lockdown. Wedding was cancelled. We've put a claim in with our wedding insurance, who have told us that we'll invalidate the claim if we make any further payments while they are investigating. They also told us that my dress is not currently covered, as they only cover wedding attire once you've collected it and it's in your possession.

The shop have sent me a video message today asking me to bank transfer the 50% remaining, pointing to a T&C which says that the remaining moneys are due on collection or 7 days after the dress arrives in any event. I replied saying I'd believed I needed to pay on collection and wasn't aware of this term when I bought as the T&Cs are only available on the back of my receipt, but they've said these are unprecedented times for everyone but I need to pay.

Things are tight right now. Fiancé was laid off the day before the support kicked in. My business is struggling. We need the insurance money to be able to get married again. We feel very stuck, and I'm really emotional (rightly or wrongly!). I've also got bipolar; which is not coping great with the current situation.

Is it unreasonable to respond and ask to pay when I collect the dress when we're allowed out again and insurance is all sorted?

OP posts:
bucketofgin · 28/03/2020 19:14

No way would I pay for it.

Elieza · 28/03/2020 19:16

I’m tempted to say don’t pay as you have already paid 50% which would be the cost of the dress and the other 50% is the shops profit to be ploughed into rent, staff wages etc.

But then again if you pay and they never reopen the. You will never get it.

It’s a tough one.

If it’s over a hundred pounds you could pay on credit card and if the shop goes bust and you never see the dress you can claim the credit card company. Takes ages and a pest.

Or just tell them that them taking your money is them continuing to trade which I don’t believe they can do if staff there are furloughed? Anyone else know if that’s correct?

Viviennemary · 28/03/2020 19:17

No I dont think you should pay for the dress.,There is no guarantee you will ever get the dress if the shop goes into liquidation.

Kinneddar · 28/03/2020 19:19

Initially I thought YABU but on reflection I wouldnt be happy paying for something I hadnt seen. If youd seen it but just hadnt collected it that would be different.

What happens if when you do see it it's the wrong dress or theres a problem; you'll have no scope for negotiation.

It is unprecedented circumstances but I'd stick to the T&C you agreed to

STAYTHEFUCKHOME · 28/03/2020 19:21

So you’d pay for the dress, and couldn’t collect for at least 12 weeks?

If the shop goes into administration, would you get your dress?

Manchestermanchester · 28/03/2020 19:21

Do you have the dress?

SwishSwishBisch · 28/03/2020 19:22

Absolutely not being unreasonable. The shop are being cheeky in my opinion. If they were to fold during this situation, you could end up with no dress at all!

Darbs76 · 28/03/2020 19:24

I wouldn’t pay without seeing it either. They might have their terms but surely they normally expect you to see dresses and inspect them before you hand over the cash

HopelessLayout · 28/03/2020 19:26

I wouldn't pay, especially as it was not available for you to collect until after the lockdown started.

FilthyforFirth · 28/03/2020 19:27

YANBU. I wouldnt pay for something this important without seeing it. I would wait until you can collect.

Bearlyawake · 28/03/2020 19:27

I wouldn't pay without seeing it and trying on YANBU

M0mmyneedswine · 28/03/2020 19:27

I wouldn't pay without seeing it

JustOneMoreStep · 28/03/2020 19:27

YANBU - follow the advice of your insurer. You are not breaking the terms of purchase anyway as you are perfectly happy to collect the dress and pay within 7 days. You CANT do that due to THEM being closed (and rightly so) but all they could do, worst case, is take you to small claims court for the remaining 50% which they will receive before it even got to court because they would be open and you could view and pay - so problem sorted! Any court in the land would laugh them out anyway given the lockdown situation. I'd email them back, a very precise email stipulating that you will be wanting the dress but will not be able to pay until you have seen it (they cant make you pay by bank transfer, you can pay in cash if you so wished unless it's in the terms which is unlikely), which you are happy to do as soon as they re-open. The delay for you taking ownership of the dress and therefore paying is not your causing but due to government lockdown and that your insurance is investigating and no further transactions should be made on the account until that investigation is complete.

It sounds like they are struggling, as are almost all small businesses. Worst case scenario is that they go bust and you get no dress. At the moment you lose 50% but if you pay that will be 100% last and still no dress.....

Aesopfable · 28/03/2020 19:29

You can’t add terms to a contract after it has been agreed (for example by printing them on the back of a receipt)

OhCaptain · 28/03/2020 19:29

Why on earth would you pay for something you haven’t even seen?

Of course you don’t pay for it!

MiniMum97 · 28/03/2020 19:30

I disagree I wouldn't pay anything without having seen the dress. It could be completely different from what you ordered. You have no idea without seeing it.

I would say you are still happy to take and pay for the dress when you have had a chance to see it and inspect it.

They can't enforce conditions that they gave you after you made payment.

StrongMama1989 · 28/03/2020 19:31

Personally I just wouldn’t pay for it but I don’t care about being chased for money as I’ve been in debt all my life and just ignore it so I’m prob not the best person to give advice Grin but if you are going to get married.. even in the long time future.. you’re still going to need the dress aren’t you, not like it can’t save in a dust sheet thing hung over somewhere safe?? I wouldn’t feel bullied into paying anything though, if you don’t want it just tell them and don’t pay, simple

StrongMama1989 · 28/03/2020 19:32

And yes if you haven’t seen the dress yet you can just say it’s not what you asked her if you don’t want to pay and they can’t make you!

Puzzledandpissedoff · 28/03/2020 19:33

If you have already paid 50% you are just giving them profit anyway!

This ^^

Unless it's an individually tailored, totally bespoke dress, think what the shop would do if OP disappeared off the face of the earth ... they'd simply re-sell it and recoup at least the other 50% if not more

Therefore I'd pay when I'd seen and checked it but not before

Khione · 28/03/2020 19:33

I would let them know that you will pay within an hour of trying it on and get them to arrange someway of getting it to you. If they are unwilling to compromise and find a way then why should you. You want the dress - they want the money. Up to them to find a way.

If the worst happens you are better off losing the deposit rather than the balance AND they want the money. If they can't find a way of getting it to you now, they will still want the money when the situation eases

MiniMum97 · 28/03/2020 19:34

I meant I disagree with all the earlier posters. Obviously not with the later ones. Lol! Sorry always posting after reading half a thread! Should learn!

Fespital · 28/03/2020 19:34

I absolutely wouldn't be paying for it until I'd seen it. Isolation or no isolation. Mistakes happen and they could have completely cocked up and ordered the wrong one.

Staypositivepeople · 28/03/2020 19:38

I think the shop is pulling a fast one
No way would I pay for it ,while it sat in the shop for 12 weeks
I’d want to try it on ,make sure I was happy with it

Kisskiss · 28/03/2020 19:39

I wouldn’t pay for something without being able to collect it. The store is closed so it’s not your fault that you can’t pick it up yet. How are you to know it’s even arrived??

Also i would guess your 50pct deposit covers the dress cost, so I wouldn’t worry the store is out of pocket.

Shopkinsdoll · 28/03/2020 19:39

Pay up. We had a gentleman make a musical instrument for my daughter. Think Scottish musical instrument. 1000 pounds. Got a call to say they were ready to pay and pick up. So we will do it. We will stick to our part of the deal.

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