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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

To not want to pay for my wedding dress right now?

139 replies

GirlWithABrokenSmile · 28/03/2020 18:26

My wedding dress was due in early March. With the situation in China, it was delayed, and finally arrived on Monday night. I was asked to collect it at 7am on Tuesday, wearing gloves and a mask, and try it on at home under the circumstances.

Then we went into lockdown. Wedding was cancelled. We've put a claim in with our wedding insurance, who have told us that we'll invalidate the claim if we make any further payments while they are investigating. They also told us that my dress is not currently covered, as they only cover wedding attire once you've collected it and it's in your possession.

The shop have sent me a video message today asking me to bank transfer the 50% remaining, pointing to a T&C which says that the remaining moneys are due on collection or 7 days after the dress arrives in any event. I replied saying I'd believed I needed to pay on collection and wasn't aware of this term when I bought as the T&Cs are only available on the back of my receipt, but they've said these are unprecedented times for everyone but I need to pay.

Things are tight right now. Fiancé was laid off the day before the support kicked in. My business is struggling. We need the insurance money to be able to get married again. We feel very stuck, and I'm really emotional (rightly or wrongly!). I've also got bipolar; which is not coping great with the current situation.

Is it unreasonable to respond and ask to pay when I collect the dress when we're allowed out again and insurance is all sorted?

OP posts:
Baker1985 · 28/03/2020 19:40

Why is insurance telling you not to pay for
the dress when your not claiming for the dress anyway the dress should have nothing todo with insurance

Aridane · 28/03/2020 19:40

YANBU

MrsP2015 · 28/03/2020 19:42

I wouldn't pay.

What happens if you pay and never get the dress?!

Explain your situation, that's not to say they'll be happy but everyone's in the shit at the moment.

Worse case scenario, you lose your deposit.

mumwon · 28/03/2020 19:49

if you ordered the dress I think you may have entered a contract if you don't pay they may be able to sue you -you need advise contact insurance first & ask their advise & get an email for proof of what they say

Happy101 · 28/03/2020 19:51

I wouldn't pay. I wouldn't risk thousands of pounds for a dress I haven't even seen!

Cuddling57 · 28/03/2020 19:52

I wouldn't pay either. I would however speak to the shop owner in a very positive way about getting it all sorted as soon as you can.

DianaT1969 · 28/03/2020 19:56

If it's a local shop, why aren't they delivering it to your door?

Annamie · 28/03/2020 19:56

I wouldn’t pay the 50% until I’ve seen the dress.

Genevieva · 28/03/2020 19:56

Regardless of contracts, the shop is not meant to be open at the moment. Tell them you are following government guidelines and cannot collect it until after the lockdown is lifted. You will pay for it when you can visit their shop and try it on to check that it is what you expect. This gives your insurance company time to assess your claim and gives you a window to work out what you are doing.

1Morewineplease · 28/03/2020 19:58

If the dress isn’t in your possession then I don’t think that you’re liable to pay for it in full. The bridal shop should be able to claim on their own insurance. However, there is a grey area in that , if you still want the dress for a rescheduled wedding then you ought to pay for it.
Check with your insurers , they will may have an answer for you.

ITasteSpring · 28/03/2020 19:59

I wouldn't pay till I had seen it either.

Puzzledandpissedoff · 28/03/2020 20:00

What happens if you pay and never get the dress?!

Exactly

Sadly a number of businesses will fold during this crisis, and if the bridal shop's one of them the doors will be locked and OP will be left at the mercy of the receivers

Waveysnail · 28/03/2020 20:02

If dress is still in the shop then no I wouldn't pay. I definitely wouldnt pay by bank transfer as your not protected at all

Greenmarmalade · 28/03/2020 20:04

Definitely don’t pay until you see it!

Greenmarmalade · 28/03/2020 20:05

The shop may very well close, and you may never get the dress.

Puzzledandpissedoff · 28/03/2020 20:06

Dear god, I hadn't noticed they wanted a bank transfer ... they've got to be joking Hmm

Frouby · 28/03/2020 20:07

Yanbu

I had a similar situation with dds prom dress. But 2 weeks before full lockdown. We aren't sure if she will ever get a prom and her dress needed alterations and a fitting or 2 fittings to it.

I paid as I had chance to inspect but declined the fitting as I didn't want the contact and because who knows when prom will be and what will happen with her size/shape.

But in your circumstances I would ring your insurance company and ask the shop to hold your dress. If they refuse then you don't pay. If they can facilitate a fitting and checking the dress is correct and it is, then you pay.

These are strange times but unfortunately the shop is a business and the business does have access to various funds and schemes available for support. They need to utilise that and not put pressure on customers to pay over money before they can fulfil their obligations to that customer. It's easy to order a frock from china and a lot cheaper to do it directly. You paid for a shop to have the privilege of checking it. They can't fulfill that part of their order so can't fulfill the order so you don't pay.

TORDEVAN · 28/03/2020 20:08

YANBU, don't pay until your wedding insurance is sorted at least. And never pay for it before you've seen it and tried it!

GrumpyHoonMain · 28/03/2020 20:09

If they offered to deliver it to you then I would pay but no way would I pay if they didn’t do that.

Runnerduck34 · 28/03/2020 20:10

Insurance aside, surely you would still wear the dress when you do actually get married???
I think you should pay for it, but they should give you a chance to inspect it and try it on before paying

user1497207191 · 28/03/2020 20:11

If the shop goes bankrupt because people like you won't pay them, then you'll lose your 50% deposit too!

Duchessofblandings · 28/03/2020 20:12

If the shop have had to pay, so do you.

Worriedmom2020 · 28/03/2020 20:12

Do not pay! Not worth risking your insurance policy over. Anyone saying pay it, obviously cannot read.

Zilla1 · 28/03/2020 20:12

I don't know anyone OP who would pay for a wedding dress without trying it on first. If the shop is closed then I think you should wait. The insurance dimension would make that decision to wait more valid. If the shop isn't open then that indicates the situation is unusual. You might want to google force majeure, OP, and good luck.

aupresdemonarbre · 28/03/2020 20:13

No, I wouldn’t pay without seeing it. The ‘in any event’ clause clearly is intended to stop people just never coming back for the dress they ordered - it’s not reasonable for them to insist on it when you haven’t seen the dress. You have the upper hand here as they will still want to see you the dress. Stick to your guns and insist on returning to try it after the lockdown. I guess they could courier it to you in which case you should pay if it meets requirements but I wouldn’t be suggesting this.

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