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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To not want to pay for my wedding dress right now?

139 replies

GirlWithABrokenSmile · 28/03/2020 18:26

My wedding dress was due in early March. With the situation in China, it was delayed, and finally arrived on Monday night. I was asked to collect it at 7am on Tuesday, wearing gloves and a mask, and try it on at home under the circumstances.

Then we went into lockdown. Wedding was cancelled. We've put a claim in with our wedding insurance, who have told us that we'll invalidate the claim if we make any further payments while they are investigating. They also told us that my dress is not currently covered, as they only cover wedding attire once you've collected it and it's in your possession.

The shop have sent me a video message today asking me to bank transfer the 50% remaining, pointing to a T&C which says that the remaining moneys are due on collection or 7 days after the dress arrives in any event. I replied saying I'd believed I needed to pay on collection and wasn't aware of this term when I bought as the T&Cs are only available on the back of my receipt, but they've said these are unprecedented times for everyone but I need to pay.

Things are tight right now. Fiancé was laid off the day before the support kicked in. My business is struggling. We need the insurance money to be able to get married again. We feel very stuck, and I'm really emotional (rightly or wrongly!). I've also got bipolar; which is not coping great with the current situation.

Is it unreasonable to respond and ask to pay when I collect the dress when we're allowed out again and insurance is all sorted?

OP posts:
Boysnme · 28/03/2020 18:53

I was going to say you were being unreasonable but your update stating the shop is now closed and you have not even seen it would make me not pay for it.

HollowTalk · 28/03/2020 18:53

If the insurance tell you not to pay, then you shouldn't. Tell the shop that you've been told not to pay but that once everything's sorted out and you collect the dress then you will pay them.

SpillTheTea · 28/03/2020 18:55

I wouldn't pay if I hadn't seen it.

ChiaraMontague · 28/03/2020 18:56

YANBU do not risk your health by collecting it (if that is even an issue) or invalidating your insurance by paying more.

Tell the shop you’ll collect the dress and pay on collection once they are out of furlough and it is safe for you to do so.

Survivingchipandkippee · 28/03/2020 18:56

Def do not pay. You haven’t collected it. There could be a problem with the dress etc.

toomuchpeppapig · 28/03/2020 18:56

I wouldn't pay for it until I'd seen it. No way. What if it's the wrong dress entirely? It's not your fault that the shop has closed and we're on lockdown. The shop will have to wait until they reopen and you can see the dress in person before you pay them. Everyone is being pinched, including you. If you pay the money and it's not right, you'll have little to no recourse on it. Don't pay until you know it's right.

ElizabethMountbatten · 28/03/2020 18:57

This reply has been withdrawn

This has been withdrawn by MNHQ at the request of the OP.

Cheeringmeup · 28/03/2020 18:57

If you don't have your dress, don't pay. It would invalidate your insurance which would lose you so much more money.
We're all struggling at the moment, but no-one should be expected to pay for something they haven't received yet. It's not like you're cancelling the dress and not prepared to pay at all.

Hg30 · 28/03/2020 18:58

No way would I pay if I hadn't seen it or tried it on yet. Don't pay until collection.

Roselilly36 · 28/03/2020 18:58

You need to see the dress before you pay, I have heard of many brides being upset about dresses made in China, often poor quality fabric & the dresses don’t even resemble the style ordered. I hope this isn’t the case for your dress but don’t part with your money until you inspect the dress.

Sleepsleepmeepmeep · 28/03/2020 18:59

Shock dont pay them

The first few posters are clearly wedding shop owners Wink

Purpletigers · 28/03/2020 19:00

I wouldn’t pay for it before seeing it . The deposit will have already covered the cost of the dress. The remaining 50% is the profit .

SandyY2K · 28/03/2020 19:00

Don't pay until you see the dress and are happy with it.

Scarydinosaurs · 28/03/2020 19:01

I would not pay. You can’t collect the dress. You need to try it on to check it before you pay.

This isn’t a top from M&S, you can’t just pay it without checking it over and trying it on.

Original poster
GirlWithABrokenSmile · 28/03/2020 19:02

The insurance already told you that the dress isnt covered anyway... So lets put that aside (unless im missing something?)

I don't think I explained that well. If I pay the 50% remaining when I collect, the insurance would cover it, as it's in my possession. But it's not covered while they have it.

I think maybe I buggered up the post with too many of my thoughts, and really just needed to say that the shop closed before my appointment to see it, I haven't seen it and I don't feel I should pay for it before I have... I think I'll try and call them and say that I'd really rather see it first.

I'm feeling a little bit less unreasonable now! Thanks for all the comments.

OP posts:
Wewearpinkonwednesdays · 28/03/2020 19:03

Your insurance doesn't cover the dress anyway so surely if you pay the remainder now, it won't affect your claim?

IndecentFeminist · 28/03/2020 19:05

Don't pay without seeing it. If they insist point out your insurance company has said not to pay.

Intelinside57 · 28/03/2020 19:05

"You need to see the dress before you pay, I have heard of many brides being upset about dresses made in China, often poor quality fabric & the dresses don’t even resemble the style ordered. I hope this isn’t the case for your dress but don’t part with your money until you inspect the dress."

Where does it say the dress is made in China?

Jeleste · 28/03/2020 19:06

Why would you pay without even seeing it? I would contact them and tell them you will pay for it once youve seen and tried it.

Postmanbear · 28/03/2020 19:06

Don’t pay them if it risks your insurance. And you have no idea if it’s in good condition.

Piglet89 · 28/03/2020 19:08

Do not pay them. Realistically, are they going to do at the moment? Take legal action against you for breach of contact? When everything’s on hold?

NailsNeedDoing · 28/03/2020 19:12

So you could still claim for everything except the dress if you pay for the dress now? I’m not sure I’m following correctly.

If that’s the case then I think you should just put your insurance claim in now, and talk to the dress shop about paying later because you haven’t seen the dress. They should be willing to at least send you a detailed video of the dress if they want you to pay without seeing. They are owed the money and should be paid though, they are probably struggling too.

I don’t think you should wait and claim for the dress on insurance though, nothing has gone wrong with the dress and you can still wear it. It’s the stuff that has to be rebooked that your insurance should pay for.

I’m sorry this has spoiled your wedding though and changed what should be a lovely time in your life, it must feel very harsh.

Haveitheright · 28/03/2020 19:12

T&C which says that the remaining moneys are due on collection or 7 days after the dress arrives in any event. I replied saying I'd believed I needed to pay on collection and wasn't aware of this term when I bought as the T&Cs are only available on the back of my receipt, but they've said these are unprecedented times for everyone but I need to pay.

Yes it is unprecedented times. If this wasn’t going on you would have collected the dress and paid. I don’t think they should hold you to the 7 days if they aren’t actually open for you to collect.
I wouldn’t be happy to pay for it without seeing it.

EveryDayIsADuvetDay · 28/03/2020 19:12

My business is struggling.

It would be struggling even more if your customers failed to pay for goods or services already provided/purchased on their behalf.
YABU

MinistryOfTragic · 28/03/2020 19:13

Martin Lewis said on his programme that if you've been let go by a previous company, to go back to them and ask them to rehire you and furlough you. He said it was totally fine, the company would be working within the rules and that the person would get 80% wages like everyone else. He gave this advice to someone who'd left a job for a new one and the new offer had been recinded. Please tell your fiancé to ask his previous employer to look into that, it's perfectly within the rules the government have laid out, would cost them nothing, and it could be a real help seeing you both through this awful time.

No real advice on the dress, except to say that I wouldn't pay for something I hadn't seen, but the dress shop have paid for that dress so you do owe them something. Good luck with it all, I wish you well.