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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

To be frustrated with DH over tins I have saved

254 replies

goteam · 28/03/2020 08:26

Like others, I got wind of what was coming re CV back in early February and began adding a few tins and long life items to each shop (different shops and over 6 weeks, no panic buying here). It was mainly me not DH doing this and I don't drive so was more of an effort. Because of this planning none of us have had to leave the house for over a week. I stocked up the freezer too.
Yesterday, DH seeing all the tins (not loads, maybe 25 of different things - beans, tomatoes, fruit, soup) he exclaimed 'we have loads of tins, I might start experimenting, maybe learn to make houmous'. DH isn't much of a cook but has other qualities. I got the chickpeas to use as bases for things like stews not so DH can 'experiment' with food he will only likely eat. Also we have 2 long dated houmous in the fridge (we are veggie!) WIBU to snap at him 'I didnt lug those tins home for experiments. They are for making proper meals'. Being slightly dramatic as I didnt lug them home at once but DH is generally bad at food waste, meal planning, checking dates etc so it just wound me up. The tins didnt just appear, I got them and he like many others only realised the severity of this a few weeks ago and laughed at me stocking up on tins. If it wasn't for me one of us would be queuing for the supermarket right now but as it is we have plenty of food to last a few months if careful.

OP posts:
ineedaholidaynow · 28/03/2020 17:57

For chilli or bolognaise I would use 500g mince beef, 1 tin of tomatoes, some stock, wine and tomato puree. Obviously for chilli I would add a tin of kidney beans as well, this makes 6 portions.

Verily1 · 28/03/2020 18:07

Yabu he can experiment and if it goes wrong he can drive to the supermarket and buy another tin of chickpeas

ChardonnaysPetDragon · 28/03/2020 18:12

Yabu he can experiment and if it goes wrong he can drive to the supermarket and buy another tin of chickpeas

It's not that easy though, there are queues to get into the supermarkets, we are told to make fewer trips and every time shopping there increases the risk for the whole family.

Experimenting is fine, but there's time for that. Now is not that time.

ErrolTheDragon · 28/03/2020 18:42

Yabu he can experiment and if it goes wrong he can drive to the supermarket and buy another tin of chickpeas

ConfusedHmm

BarbaraofSeville · 28/03/2020 19:04

I know the 'just buy more' crew that always pop up on threads like this fail to understand people being on limited budgets and being unable to afford to buy endless food but surely we can all understand the importance of not wasting food or making unnecessary trips to the supermarket to try to stop the spread of Covid19.

ineedaholidaynow · 28/03/2020 19:17

Experimenting is fine if you can’t get your usual ingredients for something so need to improvise, but experimenting for experimenting sake is not a good idea when resources are limited.

Thelnebriati · 28/03/2020 21:12

I suspect many, many members of the Tin Police have never been responsible for the family shop.

Madein1995 · 28/03/2020 21:23

Completely random note but I think the key of making meals last is veg. For a bolognese for eg, 500g mince does 6 portions (when added with pasta, cheese on top, possibly garlic bread if treating self). Mince, onion, peppers, mushrooms, carrot, tomato, courgette, tinned Tom's and a tin of passata, herbs, salt etc. Chucking as much veg in as possible really bulks it out

Meaniebobeanie · 28/03/2020 21:33

My husband used to make hummous it's quite easy to make with the few ingredients but with the cost of chickpeas and tannini it is not really cheaper to make it, so I would also tell him it's just as well to by it. (I always preferred asdas to my Dh's home hummous to)

MonkeyDishwasher · 29/03/2020 03:11

@goteam yes, you are being unreasonable. I understand your position, but honestly who are you to tell him what he can and can't eat, or how he should eat it? That's going too far.

sueelleker · 29/03/2020 08:57

The person who has to go out to buy replacements?

ErrolTheDragon · 29/03/2020 09:23

who are you to tell him what he can and can't eat,

Unless he can be sure of replacing it he's effectively telling his family they can't eat chickpea curry one night.

BarbaraofSeville · 29/03/2020 09:28

Replacements that might not exist too, it's well known that most tinned goods are in short supply right now plus an additional unnecessary shopping trip if the chick peas are supposed to form the basis of a meal instead of a hummus and pitta snack when they already have hummus in the house.

This is the vegetarian equivalent of the DH who snacks on the rest of the roast chicken that was supposed to go into a pie, curry or whatever or eats the ham that was supposed to do sandwiches for everyone.

It's not the OP who is being unreasonable but the DH who is thinking of no-one but his own wants.

VegetableMunge · 29/03/2020 09:41

Excellent analogy Barbara. It's just not an acceptable thing to do at the moment.

Whenever this behaviour comes up, there's always someone accusing the OP of being controlling. But it's not the OP being controlling of what a person can reasonable eat in limited circumstances. It's the limited circumstances that dictate it.

Usually it's time or money that's the thing preventing a person from being able to do whatever they like with the household food supply without any thought for the consequences. This time it's a pandemic. Either way, it's not the person who recognises reality and wants to keep the household fed that's the problem.

Greenpop21 · 29/03/2020 09:46

He is BU.

DippyAvocado · 29/03/2020 10:12

*Yabu he can experiment and if it goes wrong he can drive to the supermarket and buy another tin of chickpeas
There haven't been any chickpeas in our local shops since this all started. I'm sure there must be people with chickpeas in their cupboard who've never eaten a chickpea in their lives before.

NiteFlights · 29/03/2020 10:21

I'm sure there must be people with chickpeas in their cupboard who've never eaten a chickpea in their lives before. yes! As a passionate lover of chickpeas I can only hope they learn to appreciate them. At least the DH has a love of hummus going for him Wink

GreytExpectations · 29/03/2020 10:32

YABU. I couldn't imagine not being allowed to eat my own food, in my home house. You sound very controlling, OP. Also what the hell was this comment about:

I'm not sure why adults need snacks anyway for a start just have proper meals.

Was a judgmental bad attitude you have. Adults can have snacks! Good grief, feel sorry for your DH. Also you posts reek of smugness at your own hoarding, do you want a well done pat on the head or something? Hmm

ErrolTheDragon · 29/03/2020 11:50

The OP probably can't imagine her and her kids (as well as her DH having his fair share)not being allowed to eat the food she's had the foresight to buy because her DH thoughtlessly wants to 'experiment' with it. She's only being 'controlling' to compensate for him not thinking. Some other partners mentioned evidently have no self-control. That's worse in current circumstances if it leaves others short.

GreytExpectations · 29/03/2020 12:06

Just because someone chooses not to stock pile or hoard doesn't mean they are lacking in foresight or not thinking Hmm

ErrolTheDragon · 29/03/2020 12:08

Maybe so, but it sounds like that is the case for the OPs DH and some others mentioned on this thread. No need to get defensive, if it doesn't apply to you that's great.

GreytExpectations · 29/03/2020 12:13

Maybe so, but it sounds like that is the case for the OPs DH and some others mentioned on this thread. No need to get defensive, if it doesn't apply to you that's great.

Maybe you shouldn't make assumptions about everyone's choices then? The OPs situation seems more like she is being smug about her choice to stock pile and instead of communicating to her DH she is being controlling. But you know, he clearly just is a dumb man like most of mumsnet would say

ittakes2 · 29/03/2020 12:15

I don’t think 25 tins is excessive - my 13 year old has being having a tin of food each day for lunch since he’s been in isolation so that’s 14 and we also use them at night for family meals.

GreytExpectations · 29/03/2020 13:05

Surly eating tin food everyday can't possibly be that healthy?

ErrolTheDragon · 29/03/2020 13:08

As part of your diet it's fine.