To not give up my delivery slots..

[Shootingstar2918]

Hi all, background... I am not vulnerable and I am fit and healthy and able to go shopping but it’s extremely difficult. I have two children with autism and my partner has to work. I live 12 miles away from the nearest large supermarket. The village shop doesn’t sell much.

I get my shopping delivered every week without fail at the same time every week. I always book slots in advance particularly at usual peak times - Christmas, Easter, summer holidays.

My partner still has to work long hours so not as easy as one of us getting to the shop. By the time he finishes this week the shops are shut. They don’t open late here.

I have two shops booked. One for next week and another for the week after.

Been told I’m selfish for not leaving them for the vulnerable?

I booked these 2 weeks ago! When Tesco released easter bank holiday priority slots for delivery savers!

Surely I should keep my slots and not be made to feel guilty?

I know I’ll probably have to shop in store after these 2 slots!

@bmbonzana No DPs just need to step up. OP has a DP who could do the shop, or look after the kids while OP does the shop This is about convenience.
For the shielded group it is about saving their lives. Not making their life easier.

Fortnightly would be a compromise IMO.

If all the households with weekly booked could drop half of them, there would be an awful lot more slots available.

And yes, I know that means in week 2 you would have to eat less fresh food but it seems fairer to me than having half the population with weekly slots and half (including many who are also vulnerable and others who now have symptoms in the household) have none.

Keep your slots, i have my slots booked with asda, i can physically go i have 4 kids (2 teenagers that stay at home) and a 2 and 10 year old i dont want to be dragging them about asda with me. I'll do my weekly shop the same way i always do, online

These threads are starting to annoy me slightly. You can't do right for doing wrong now...
It was don't buy more than you need for a few days you selfish person, go little and often now it's you've got too many slots booked you selfish person, buy enough for 2 weeks in one go. If you go to the shops then you are spreading it, if you get a delivery you are depriving more needy people.

This unofficial rationing doesn't work. It might be way more than a single person or couple would need and to buy so much would be unnecessary stockpiling but for a family of 4 or more, especially now kids are home for lunch, it could not be enough for more than a few days meaning more slots or trips out. If you are shopping for other vulnerable people should you go multiple times to get enough of the basics

They either need to introduce actual per person amounts of things that can be enforced across all shops or start being more flexible with larger families or people shopping for others.

From what I've read on here practically everyone has a child with autism or multiple children with autism so lots of people in the same boat. I think slots should just be for the vulnerable and elderly

I take it that you are in the apparently tiny minority of people without an autistic child so have no idea what you are talking about Katie2017

I have weekly slots booked up to mid April and no, I won't be cancelling them. It sucks there isn't enough slots to go around but it's a service I paid to use.

Thanks all. I am really worried about shopping after my deliveries are done. I have social anxiety and absolutely hate shopping in store so haven’t in a long time. (I know this isn’t a valid reason right now as I’m not vulnerable to covid) but I’m really anxious and stressed already.

There is no way I would take dc for a big shop at the best of times, definitely not now. They don’t understand social distancing at all and don’t understand not to touch anything!

I booked these slots before it got too panicky. I don’t really
Want to cancel. How can I guarantee my slot would go to a vulnerable person?

My partner works near a very small supermarket. He may be able to Pick up a few things if he’s on an earlier shift.. can’t this week due to finishing late.

YANBU. I’ve got 2 which are 10 days apart. I’m pregnant and also buying for my immunosuppressive brother and elderly parents. I can physically go to the shop but given my situation I would rather not. If I gave them up I have no way of knowing they’d go to someone more deserving.

@shootingstar Does your DP really work 7 days a week and long hours so he is always working when supermarkets are open?

I would put you in the category that needs to have a a lot to be honest. Must be tough x

If it's easier tell the busy bodies that have told you that you are selfish that you have cancelled your slots. Then don't.

I don't think you are being selfish. Ignore the patronising stupid replies. Keep your slots! I imagine shopping for you can be difficult at the best of times with autistic DC and DH working long hours. You are entitled to them, you have a family to feed x

Keep them. Don’t feel guilty. If you have a vulnerable person nearby, maybe you can add on some essentials for them.

I don't think you're unreasonable at all. Context is everything.

OP, I get it. I have a young child with autism so I completely understand. I also get the restricted diet so local shops might not have you specific items you need. My little boy only days certain things, so usually (before all of this) I would do the main bulk in Aldi then top up in Tesco or Asda.

Keep the slots and do not feel guilty!

My MIL, who is 80 and lives 8 hrs away from any family, can’t get a delivery slot at all, and is having to go to the shops to get food in. So while I don’t think you shouldn’t have your slots, it is obviously crappy for some people who need them and can’t get them. That’s all.

I don’t think ho7 should give up your booked slots however, I think the supermarkets need to enforce some restrictions centrally. You alone won’t make a difference.

Autism is neurological which is included on the high risk list. As is learning disability, don't know if that is relevant here. Also as you say they don't understand social distancing and the supermarkets are running campaigns asking people not yo take their children I think you should definitely keep your slots.

Also ignore some of the replies, they clearly have no clue about ASD.
And the person who commented about most people having kids with ASD these days, fuck off.
I had a massive eye opener to realise how many people have it. Once I started accessing support network and going to groups, I understand just how many people/children have it.

I’m diabetic, entitled to the flu jab but we’re not covered by the shielded group, we are covered by the vulnerable group that was announced first. So I’m not in the group that’s eligible for delivery slots but I’ve been told to socially distance and protect myself for 12 weeks and strongly advised against going out to work etc. before everyone else. They need to make their minds up, this 2 tier system is bullshit.

I have two slots booked too, one next week and one the week after and are currently trying to get one for the following week. I don't feel at all guilty. I think it's responsible trying to go to the shop as little as possible.

YANBU keep the slots if you have them. If you give them up theres no guarantee someone "worthy" would get them anyway.

It's all very well people saying get two weeks of food in, but they've limited shops to 80 items and only three of one kind of item.

I have 3 slots left (one each Saturday for the next 3 weeks), no way am I giving them up. I’m a single parent with 2 DD’s with autism. I pay monthly for my tesco delivery and have used them every week for several years.

Gerti-MJN-it's just an observation! No I don't have kids on a spectrum but I've been reading the posts on here the last few days and there are a huge number of people with children with AS-is this not so? Didn't mean to offend anyone jeez!

YANBU. Keep the slots.