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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To not give up my delivery slots..

355 replies

Shootingstar2918 · 27/03/2020 19:09

Hi all, background... I am not vulnerable and I am fit and healthy and able to go shopping but it’s extremely difficult. I have two children with autism and my partner has to work. I live 12 miles away from the nearest large supermarket. The village shop doesn’t sell much.

I get my shopping delivered every week without fail at the same time every week. I always book slots in advance particularly at usual peak times - Christmas, Easter, summer holidays.

My partner still has to work long hours so not as easy as one of us getting to the shop. By the time he finishes this week the shops are shut. They don’t open late here.

I have two shops booked. One for next week and another for the week after.

Been told I’m selfish for not leaving them for the vulnerable?

I booked these 2 weeks ago! When Tesco released easter bank holiday priority slots for delivery savers!

Surely I should keep my slots and not be made to feel guilty?

I know I’ll probably have to shop in store after these 2 slots!

OP posts:
bleepbleepbla · 28/03/2020 20:03

Hang onto them OP if you cancel anyone could get them! I've got slots booked which I booked weeks ago. We have no family and live in middle of nowhere. No one ever helps us out despite us usually being generally v kind to others.

Whatisnottaken · 28/03/2020 20:08

As far as I know you would not be allowed to shop with two kids where I am,it single shoppers only.Supermarkets need more delivery people I'm in vulnerable category as I have heart faliure,I can't get a hopping slot for love nor money.

Redwinestillfine · 28/03/2020 20:12

Keep them, unless you can secure an alternative food source. Having your family go hungry won't help.

WhyIsIt · 28/03/2020 20:13

I have a delivery saver pass and had 3 deliveries booked. I’ve had 1 I have 2 left

Thank god I did because I have been ill for a week already and going to need them until I am well/can go out again
So I am not cancelling them but I can’t book anymore

WhyIsIt · 28/03/2020 20:15

I am also a single parent by the way. And off sick from work and have a health condition

waterhorse123 · 28/03/2020 20:31

YABU - anyone who is not at risk to their health because they are either old or have an underlying health condition should NOT be using a home delivery slot. Your kids might be autistic but that doesn't make them more likely to get sick than anyone else. My husband is one of the 1.5 million and we can't get a slot because of selfish gits who are taking all the slots. So give up your slots and do your shopping yourself. Your partner doesn't work all the hours the supermarkets are open, surely? You'll just have to manage, like everyone else. Stop being selfish.

Original poster
Shootingstar2918 · 28/03/2020 20:36

Thanks @waterhorse123

You have made me feel so much better.... not. I booked them 2/3 weeks ago when there were still
Plenty of slots left. I always book in advance anyway. If I gave them up how do I know who would get the slot?

I fully intend to go shopping once these deliveries are done.

I pay for a delivery saver because I have two children with autism and cannot shop.

Like I said, we live in a rural area. Our usual limited opening times are more limited than usual at the minute!

What’s to say I give up my slots and another able bodied person grabs it???

OP posts:
Original poster
Shootingstar2918 · 28/03/2020 20:36

Cannot shop easily *

OP posts:
Kelp23 · 28/03/2020 20:40

I've just cancelled my slot for next week and went to the shop myself instead but it was because Tesco are bringing in so many restrictions that is prob end up having to go out anyway to get stuff they didn't bring. Also I understand many s supermarkets are not allowing groups in now anyway so you might not be allowed to take your kids in. Keep your slots.

Tessabelle74 · 28/03/2020 20:42

Keep them and don't feel guilty. Many supermarkets are now bringng in one shopper only rules so it's going to be impossible for you to manage.

adaline · 28/03/2020 21:10

Don't feel guilty @Shootingstar2918 - you got there first. Slots were plentiful several weeks ago and you did the right thing and booked them.

I've got a delivery coming tomorrow and I've booked a click + collect for two weeks time as well. I don't feel bad for it. I checked out of curiosity and managed to get a slot - it was just pot luck. If I give it up there's no way of knowing if the next person to get it is vulnerable or just lucky like I was.

SchadenfreudePersonified · 28/03/2020 21:11

I pay for a delivery saver because I have two children with autism and cannot shop

I think people like yourself, when this is over, should receive partial refund of your delivery saver cost. The store is not fulfilling its obligation to you because it's not making delivery available.

SurfingGiantess · 28/03/2020 21:41

Keep them. But maybe you could do click and collect next time?

Malvinaa81 · 28/03/2020 21:47

Who is trying to take your precious slots?

You need them, or feel you do- can't see it myself but that's how you feel.

Banj0girl · 28/03/2020 21:52

Even if you have slots, there is no guarantee that you will get all that you have ordered. My DIL booked a slot ages ago and could only get one more than a week away. Last week it was delivered - only half of it. I at over 70 and just out of isolation, had to go and get the rest. I could not let my 4yr old GD go hungry. Also I have yesterday delivered another 3 bags as the entire family is in isolation because my GD has the virus !

wherestheotherone · 28/03/2020 21:57

We've got 4 deliveries covering 8 houses on our cul de sac. We have a mix of vulnerable, very high risk, a single parent and dh and I are keyworkers, working full-time, shifts and trying to do this do our children can stay at home. We are not giving up slots. I don't understand why more people don't share deliveries!

waterhorse123 · 28/03/2020 22:03

for your information I have two autistic children as well, and it's never stopped me doing shopping.

Jaxhog · 28/03/2020 22:06

It's selfish. I'm on the vulnerable list and can't get a slot.

cocodomingo · 28/03/2020 22:09

Not greedy and you dont need to explain yourself. Keep the slots.

OptimisticSix · 28/03/2020 22:13

I don't think you should hive them up. Where I am you cannot take your children into shops so you'd have to leave them home alone. This doesn't sound like it would work for you at all. Keep them. If you can help people then do but help you and your children too. I prioritise my children's safety above all others. If I can get delivery I will because I don't want to go to the shops and expose myself and therefore my children to additional risk. I have helped others where I can, gave away my last bottle of calpol yesterday to someone on Facebook whose child is ill, and I've given away some paracetamol, but when it comes to food and avoiding exposure I have to put my children first.

LeahWarburton · 28/03/2020 22:13

You, personally, my not be in a vulnerable position, but it sounds like your household is. Keep the slots.

LeahWarburton · 28/03/2020 22:15

"may not be". Sorry. All the best to you and your family, and all on mumsnet, from New Zealand.

onionface · 28/03/2020 22:19

I don't understand why more people don't share deliveries!

Because the supermarkets are restricting how much of anything you can buy and you can't get enough bread, milk, eggs etc for one family let alone for anyone else! So you'd need to do more frequent deliveries, which kind of defeats the point.

Glittersparkle76 · 28/03/2020 22:22

It's pointless giving up the slots now as someone able bodied may get them,however during this difficult time surely your Husband could go shopping while you stay home with the kids?,or he stay home with them while you go and shop?,you are fit and healthy so morally the slots should be reserved for those who cannot get out and shop or have no family or neighbour support.You need to work something out as after the 2nd delivery you're stuffed as delivery slots will be like gold dust.How would you cope if Supermarkets didn't deliver at all?

Charis1503 · 28/03/2020 22:26

Im NHS (still working) Heavily pregnant, have a toddler and have long term health condition.

I have ordered every Wednesday from asda for aslong as i can remember.

I can get nothing. No delivery, no collection. Its horrendous. Ive managed to add a few bits to an order my mum has for the 14th april. Until then we r on rations.

My local shop has no UHT and my son has a cows milk protine intolerance so cant drink fresh.... Im currently limiting his milk - which is a carton of SKIMMED uht a neighbour had spare. Really not ideal.

Only YOU know if you could manage without these deliveries and if there is a way to make it to the store. No one on here is likely to understand the severity of your kids autism and whether they could be left with dad for an hour on a sat morning.

If you really cant make it to store then of course you are not being unresonable. You and your kids need to eat as much as the rest of us! Vunerable or not.

However, if you just dont WANT to go to store(and dont see why you should have too) then given some peoples desperste circumstances you may want to entertain the idea of giving perhaps one up?

No guarantee that it will go to somone needy though.

Perhaps if you know someone who is struggling maybe offer to reserve 10 items on your order for them? That way they will get in some essentisl supplies and all you have forgon is some luxuries?