To not give up my delivery slots..

[Shootingstar2918]

Hi all, background... I am not vulnerable and I am fit and healthy and able to go shopping but it’s extremely difficult. I have two children with autism and my partner has to work. I live 12 miles away from the nearest large supermarket. The village shop doesn’t sell much.

I get my shopping delivered every week without fail at the same time every week. I always book slots in advance particularly at usual peak times - Christmas, Easter, summer holidays.

My partner still has to work long hours so not as easy as one of us getting to the shop. By the time he finishes this week the shops are shut. They don’t open late here.

I have two shops booked. One for next week and another for the week after.

Been told I’m selfish for not leaving them for the vulnerable?

I booked these 2 weeks ago! When Tesco released easter bank holiday priority slots for delivery savers!

Surely I should keep my slots and not be made to feel guilty?

I know I’ll probably have to shop in store after these 2 slots!

54ineedsun

People can be dicks and love to have an opinion about other people without all the facts.

You have the slots booked, use them. Companies are employing more drivers which is what is needed now. Don't go to the shop unless you need to. If you want to you could ask what other people need and add to your shop and then leave parcels outside peoples doors. Maybe those who sit in judgement will deem you worthy then?

I doubt it, they'll have starved to death.

The op has a choice. She can either go shopping herself or send her husband. A lot of the 1.5 million who are shielding don't have that choice unless someone gets their finger out and helps them.

I'm asking every member of mumsnet. Are you doing everything you can to help those people? Because we are the ones that NICE have already decided won't get put on ventilation.

I'm training the next generation of HCP to make sure that there are enough staff to manage the crisis, shopping for others (in the online slot that I booked 2 weeks ago when I was working through suspected coronavirus), I've signed up to be a volunteer with the NHS, phoning relatives and friends daily, managing kids with SEN and complex health issues which make them vulnerable so that my nurse husband can work and will be looking after my grandkids so that my nurse daughter can work.

There are lots of people stepping up to help, these things take a little while to get going. But being a dick about it and accusing people of not doing enough when you have no idea is spectacularly unhelpful and just creates division.

Also in the same situation as@Sugarplumfairy65 it’s so tough isn’t it.

We have no support except for my wonderful parents who are also not supposed to be out of the house.

It’s just so tough. We shouldn’t be out shopping and we didn’t stock pile only to now be utterly screwed over by people who are supposed to be shopping in store but want priority over delivery slots.

FWIW the supermarket I usually use won’t class us as high risk (despite the letters). So we really are stuck and I can’t imagine being prioritised as a new customer with another supermarket.

29ineedsun

I'm training the next generation of HCP to make sure that there are enough staff to manage the crisis, shopping for others (in the online slot that I booked 2 weeks ago when I was working through suspected coronavirus), I've signed up to be a volunteer with the NHS, phoning relatives and friends daily, managing kids with SEN and complex health issues which make them vulnerable so that my nurse husband can work and will be looking after my grandkids so that my nurse daughter can work.

There are lots of people stepping up to help, these things take a little while to get going. But being a dick about it and accusing people of not doing enough when you have no idea is spectacularly unhelpful and just creates division.

You say I have no idea? Its me and others in this thread that this is happening to. Of course I have a bloody idea.
I have no problem with frontline workers getting delivery slots. That's how it should be.
But, at the moment, the people in the shielded group are going to the back of the queue.
Many of us can't afford to shop regularly at the supermarkets who deliver and have to usually shop at aldi so we're not registered with them.
You think my post was aimed at you? It wasn't. It was aimed at the government, local authorities, supermarkets and the local "help" groups that have sprung up over the last 2 weeks promising to help then not doing a thing.
Anyway, I'm sorted for this week. My daughter is doing a 5 hour return trip this afternoon to do my shopping and pick-up my morphine from the chemist who promised they would deliver it on Wednesday and didn't.

The point being that you have no idea what other people are going through or doing to support other people who are shielded or vulnerable. People (not just you) are making sweeping judgements about other people's behaviour without the full picture and whilst there are a few selfish people around, most are not.

Most of us feel for anyone who is having to self isolate and are doing a lot to support them but because they don't wear tshirts advertising the fact they get abuse because the default position must be that they're doing something wrong. Although writing this I have just realised that I'm on mumsnet and the forums would be half the size of this didn't happen

@Deadmansfood Major sensory food issues will go out of the window along with woke eating when we all get hungry due to food shortages

Have you dealt with sensory issues? Many won’t eat when starving.

What is “woke” eating?

What is “woke” eating
current fad for vegan,vegetarian, gluten free etc

I'm telling you my experience of the system, as are others in the same position as me. I haven't seen anyone else on this thread in the shielding group who have actually had any of the help promised by the government. They know who we are, they sent us the letters.
Stop taking it so personally. Put yourself in our shoes. How would you feel?

I am on the extremely vulnerable list and no help with deliveries is forthcoming.

It seems we have to choose between risking health and eating.

Sainsburys have said they are helping but they're not, it seems like a PR stunt.

I got a corona text saying 'eat healthy and well balanced diet with plenty of fresh fruit/veg'.... it's like they're actually trying to take the piss.

'The volunteer army does not exist yet in reality-or certainly not local to me. it was just something nice to say at the press conference．　

I have found the whole 'extremely vulnerable' thing to be anxiety making.

Avoid children. Stay 3 feet from your family, eat separately...I can't imagine abandoning my family for 12 weeks in the spare room. Especially if there's a good chance I'll die this year when I do get it, it seems a waste of time not seeing the family.

If the deliveries were sorted we could feel safe as a household and not have to isolate from the family.

Sorry to whine but it is just horrible. I feel like I'm not following the advice and not being supported.

But in real life I'm just being jolly mum as usual.

Sainsburys have said they are helping but they're not, it seems like a PR stunt

That's what I think. Both DH and I come into vulnerable categories, too - can't get any slots for love nor money, either delivery or click and collect.

I e-mailed and suggested that if they didn't offer timed slots (which must involve a lot of waiting about and travelling time) they could probably fit in at least twice as many deliveries - but didn't get a response.

I know they'll be getting thousands of e-mails, but I'll bet I'm not the only one who would think this could be workable. As long as people knew what day the delivery is coming, they'd be okay - and it's not as though any of us are going out anywhere at them moment is it?

I'd be happy if they said it was arriving anytime next week. And if it was random food and toiletries. Just anything would do!

Stop taking it so personally

I'm really not taking it personally, but I am annoyed at people who make sweeping judgements and assumptions about other people without knowing the full facts.

The OP has good reasons (which they articulated) for having booked an online slot - that doesn't make them a bad person and they shouldn't feel like they have to give that slot up for someone else.

There's a lot of top trumps being played here but ultimately everyone is in it together. It's bad enough without people being dicks to each other, especially when they don't know (or seek to know) the full story.

I absolutely do think that people who do have some way of actually going to a supermarket to do their shopping should not be getting home deliveries when there are people in the shielding group who have no one to shop for them who cant

I have a child with autism
You keep thoes slots please .

No YANBU, you can’t take your children shopping, you shouldn’t be driving if possible and you have extenuating circumstances! Keep your shopping slots and ensure that you make the most of them as you will probably not be able to get any further on.

Anyone that says with two autistic children you should go out and do you own shopping and give those slots up should walk in your shoes . Keep them and book more .xx

I class you as part of those unable to go to the shops giving your circumstances. I have a DS with ASD do know how hard it is. I had 2 slots booked up early too and due to the stress of taking him out (especially with the que to get into a supermarket) we just couldn’t do it x

how would the magic shopping fairy you are referring to know they are running out of food, bucket?

Aren’t most people getting a postcard from their local volunteer group through the door?

And if you know an elderly person and YOU have the internet, why don’t YOU put them in touch?

I have got a Tesco slot for mid April (booked a while back). Was pleased to have it. However, I will give to my neighbours who,have got the shielding letter. Despite being extrem.y vulnerable, they can get no online delivery slots and Are reliant on goodwill . I will be honest - I would rather keep the slot for myself and don’t really want to give it up. Especially as I don’t have a car and am really busy at work. However, I’m good conscience I can’t keep it, cam I

You’re a Carer as well as a parent. You should keep your slots. You are managing your caring responsibilities

Shopping with one autistic child would be very difficult two must be a nightmare. Not everyone can get all their shopping in one hit especially now a lot of goods are out of stock.fresh fruit, milk and meat won’t keep for two weeks. Keep your slot

What about weekend? Does your DH work 7 days a week? My parents cannot get to the shops at all. We now can’t help as in complete lockdown. My parents now can’t get a delivery as all slots full, they always get delivery as can’t get out to shops. No idea how we are going to get them even basics. It’s really worrying. If people can physically get to shops they should as there are people who can’t and now face running out of food.

Where are you @claudiaswinkleman cause it’s not complete lockdown here in the uk yet and the rules clearly state we can leave the house to help the vulnerable .

Supermarkets aren’t charity’s we shouldn’t be blaming them. They are not built up to deliver shopping to 1.5 million people. It’s very small part of their business it’s the government who should be sorting this out.