If you felt you ‘lost him’ before how did you get him back? What happened?
Did you promise him things he would like to lure him in?
Or did he ask you, as dad was much tougher than you, and he wanted an easy life, and you went easy on your poor wee boy mummying him, ‘of course you can come home darling I’m so pleased’, like the parable of the prodigal son.
And then once he was with you, remember he treated your house rules, you and his siblings with disrespect. He frightened and upset your household.
So how’s it going to play out this time? He will want home again.
Please therefore consider things you can do differently to get a different result next time he comes home.
For example when he gets fed up with dads house rules and asks to come back for a luxury holiday camp at your house don’t be over there in a flash helping with his bags. Say ‘no you can’t come back until you prove you have changed your attitude. I will always love you but I refuse to put up with your previous behaviour. So you can think on that for a week and let me know in seven days time how you will change and what you will do differently and I will consider letting you return’.
He’ll whine and winge but the wait will show him you’ve changed and are tougher. If you jump to his every request he will not change.
On return to the family home you need to keep track of all dc’s behaviour. All need chores. All need to respect each other.
You’re not doing him any favours by allowing him to behave badly and get away with only doing the things he wants. Life and employment isn’t like that. He needs to man up and get used to doing things he doesn’t particularly want to do and behaving nicely when he’s pissed off inside himself. You have to be like that at work and just smile and say yes sir and do the boring filing or whatever, so he can start learning now.
You can still turn him around OP. Don’t give up.