AIBU to think people are jealous?

[cherrypieandcheese]

NC for this one!

I work very hard running an online business that has helped a lot of people and gained a lot of traction. I tend to keep it very quiet. I take a very small salary thats not enough to pay bills and I hope one day in the future I can go full time. In the mean time I work part time. I scrape by every month. I try and not tell everyone what I do on the side because I'm a little embarrassed and I find people at my work are put off. If they ask me if I have another job and I tell them briefly about my side hustle, the conversation goes dead, so I change the topic.

Everyone at work seems really friendly and I think people like me. I still feel new, been there just over a year, but get along with everyone. Yet I am still not invited to parties. There are group chats I am not apart of, but people who have started working there in the past three months have been welcomed into. I am the only one. I held my own party and no-one from work came, despite all being invited. Others from outside work came so it wasn't a flop. I am the same age and have a lot on common with these people.

We have all just been put on unpaid leave. Three of my colleagues have posted on Facebook tagging every singe colleague at my workplace on how sad they are that they are no longer working together, except me. Again. Theres no-one I am close enough to ask about it without being worried everyone will find out my concern.

Everything went well in the first two months and only happened when people found out about my side hustle. I don't know if people feel as if we're too different because of my side hustle? I have opened up to a friend who has told me I should be so proud of how many people I have helped, but I am not. I am embarrassed. I feel the side hustle makes people feel as if they have nothing in common with me.

I have received a couple of sly comments about it from people at work. Someone suggesting I am going to leave as soon as my side hustle takes off, so i'm not really loyal to the company, another saying I must not have time for friends and family because I work so hard juggling two jobs and dont have the right priorities Just comments I can ignore in the moment but felt really off. This has happened from 5-6 people.

I really don't think there is anything wrong with my personality. I get involved, I am friendly and outgoing. My friend said my colleagues are jealous. Could this be true? There is nothing to be jealous of because what I do is very lonely, hard work, and I have thought about giving in a million times. Or is there likely another problem with me?

I have never had any problems in any other work place. This is the only job I have had since starting my side hustle and the only one I have trouble integrating. If anyone could shed some light it would be appreciated, thank you.

I'm going guess that OP helps people in the community by selling them magic weight loss beans.
Or services the 'needs' of the older gentleman.

OP you haven't answered if it's an MLM.

If it is, that's your answer why they want to keep you at arms length.

If its not, it depends what info from your business you have and haven't told them. If you have been vague in your answers like in this thread, you probably risk alienating them.

I'm assuming you're providing sexual services to the disabled. Women don't tend to like sex workers. Next time you move jobs, keep schtum.

Maybe this.

Side hustle is a term used in America and used differently than just the word "hustle".

A side hustle is any type of employment undertaken in addition to one's full-time job. A side hustle is generally freelance or piecework in nature, providing a supplemental income. Side hustles are often things a person is passionate about, rather day a typical day job worked in order to make ends meet.

www.wonolo.com/blog/what-is-a-side-hustle

Side hustle is just an informal term for side job, it's a fairly recent term and it's most common in the US but I've heard it here quite a bit, too. I think it became popular at the same time the 'gig economy' really blew up. If you Google side hustle you'll see loads of non-swindling references to side hustles.

On the actual subject, it doesn't sound like jealousy just personalities not meshing.

@Dontjumptoconclusions

OP you haven't answered if it's an MLM.

Yes, she did.

And people one this thread know they’ve hounded away the OP, she’s not coming back.

You don’t live in Yorkshire do you?
Seriously it took several years for me to be accepted at one workplace as I wasn’t a local.

Do you really want to be in a group with people who are deliberately hurtful? Get on and live your best life and just concentrate on your real friends.

'Preprogrammed hunbot'

Without knowing exactly what you do, I'm afraid if my colleague let slip that they were making money (even a small amount) from helping exploited and vulnerable people, and was hoping one day to live off those earnings, I wouldn't be having anything to do with you. Just sounds wrong. But really, it does depend on what you are doing...

Sorry but Side Hustle implies something underhand to me. If someone mentioned a side hustle involving people who were vulnerable in any way, I'd assume it was some kind of scam or at the very least didn't have their actual well being at heart. Sorry but that would just be my immediate perception op.

ANother example of misusing a word that already had a well-known meaning then - hustle has always had dodgy undertones, so it's a fair bet that most people hearing that word will assume dodginess, at least in the UK.

All that aside, we don't need to know what the side JOB is, but whatever it is, your colleagues don't appreciate it or that you're doing it. They think you are not committed to the job, and are only biding your time until you upsticks and leave. Because of this, they're not investing any time in you as a colleague or a friend, because who knows when you'll cease to be one, and if you do, whether or not you'll also cease to be the other too.

Envy is a real thing. By no means something that well meaning friends tell you. It's an important aspect of psychoanalytic thinking with envious attacks being the outworkings of that. Excluding someone would be a tried and tested way of delivering such attacks. I would also expect overt behaviour also.... maybe like the comments you're getting.

I think if it's something like Herbalife then you think you are helping people and everyone else things you are a bit of a fool and that you are trying to exploit people via your relationships.

You are coming across as if you are above your actual job and that would be irritating.

Quite often when people think others are leaving them out etc. because they think they are jealous it is not the case.

OP, be sensible. You have an extra hobby job — whatever it is, why is that likely to cause mass collegial envy, any more than, say, knitting novelty baby bootees that look like pints of Guinness and flogging them on Etsy would?

Agree with above that's it's some form of life coaching thingy- seen a lot pop up recently.... Be the best you... Etc etc

Loving Mumsnet losing their shit over the word side hustle . But that aside, yes- sounds like there's an issue. Truth is you won't know unless you ask someone. If you want to/can-ask 1 person you trust- e.g your boss and go as along the lines of 'is there anything I can do to get along with colleagues better?. They might be able to give you a clue as to what's going on. It could be uncomfortable but that's really the way to face into it. The alternative is they're just a bad bunch (it happens, but maybe if it happens again and again - something to recognise) and you are best of ignoring them. Good luck OP.

Side hustle is a phrase, whether posters agree/like it it's been around for a while. In fact, Good Housekeeper published an article about side hustles yesterday

Could the side thing involve religious conversion of some sort? That would make me avoid someone in case they were after converting me as well... But looks like we will never know!

I would be a bit jealous, tbh. I'd be jealous of your drive, your organisational skill, the fact you've got another thing going...

OP sometimes people are just nasty. I was in a job years ago and similar happened. I really regret staying so long as it never happened before or since. I also regret trying to befriend them (I probably looked like a doormat and was). However I called one out on it (after a few drinks), she never left me out again, and I just accepted it was never going to change with the other. You have other friends, you have a promising future so once out the door of work, try to focus on that.

Yawn !

Ooh @CastleSalem did you just out your side-hustle? I think we need pictures of those to put on the Glittery Shit threads 🤣

Is it ASMR?

For future reference don’t use ‘side hussle ’ as a term unless you’re ripping off the business you’re working for (skimming or stealing clients) or are in fact selling a little bit of crack on down low.

As others have said - because we don’t know the nature of the business it’s easy to interpret it as ‘voluntary sector - making money’ - it’s not a good pairing.

I would think it’s unusual for them to ignore over this. Nowadays with crafting and social media being so dominant so many people I know have small businesses. One of my friends has a normal 9-5 but makes bags in her spare time. No one is jealous over it - it’s quite common.

Something else is going on here.