AIBU to think people are jealous?

[cherrypieandcheese]

NC for this one!

I work very hard running an online business that has helped a lot of people and gained a lot of traction. I tend to keep it very quiet. I take a very small salary thats not enough to pay bills and I hope one day in the future I can go full time. In the mean time I work part time. I scrape by every month. I try and not tell everyone what I do on the side because I'm a little embarrassed and I find people at my work are put off. If they ask me if I have another job and I tell them briefly about my side hustle, the conversation goes dead, so I change the topic.

Everyone at work seems really friendly and I think people like me. I still feel new, been there just over a year, but get along with everyone. Yet I am still not invited to parties. There are group chats I am not apart of, but people who have started working there in the past three months have been welcomed into. I am the only one. I held my own party and no-one from work came, despite all being invited. Others from outside work came so it wasn't a flop. I am the same age and have a lot on common with these people.

We have all just been put on unpaid leave. Three of my colleagues have posted on Facebook tagging every singe colleague at my workplace on how sad they are that they are no longer working together, except me. Again. Theres no-one I am close enough to ask about it without being worried everyone will find out my concern.

Everything went well in the first two months and only happened when people found out about my side hustle. I don't know if people feel as if we're too different because of my side hustle? I have opened up to a friend who has told me I should be so proud of how many people I have helped, but I am not. I am embarrassed. I feel the side hustle makes people feel as if they have nothing in common with me.

I have received a couple of sly comments about it from people at work. Someone suggesting I am going to leave as soon as my side hustle takes off, so i'm not really loyal to the company, another saying I must not have time for friends and family because I work so hard juggling two jobs and dont have the right priorities Just comments I can ignore in the moment but felt really off. This has happened from 5-6 people.

I really don't think there is anything wrong with my personality. I get involved, I am friendly and outgoing. My friend said my colleagues are jealous. Could this be true? There is nothing to be jealous of because what I do is very lonely, hard work, and I have thought about giving in a million times. Or is there likely another problem with me?

I have never had any problems in any other work place. This is the only job I have had since starting my side hustle and the only one I have trouble integrating. If anyone could shed some light it would be appreciated, thank you.

I don’t know. You said “side hustle” so many times until everyone pointed out how crass it is as a phrase and especially for an alleged social enterprise. It is hard to believe you don’t regularly call it that.

Then you said “maybe I am bias”. (You can either be biased or have a bias. You cannot “be bias”).

You’re quite keen to tell us how much praise you’ve had for your hustling of vulnerable community members or whatever it is. ()

You do sound like one of these people who bigs themselves up while using all the words wrongly.

The part time project sounds vaguely exploitative.

Plus why did you ever tell your colleagues about it in the first place? For more praise?

The whole thing sounds weird and maybe you can explain some of it better but I can’t see anything they’d be jealous of there.

OFC, it’d be easier to say if we knew more about the job and the business.

The PP upthread was exactly right, if you are ‘mysterious’ about what it is like this in real life they think it’s an MLM (to be frank, I’m still not convinced it isn’t because I know plenty of MLM Bots who would refer to what they do as helping vulnerable people).

Thread is annoying!

Hustle means swindle. Doing something (or someone) on the side means cheating, in money speak it’s a reference to not paying tax.

If you are swindling vulnerable people on the side, no wonder your colleagues don’t want to talk to you!

You come across as quite insincere in your writing, especially when you go on to say you used that phrase because that’s what you’ve heard other people call it.

You remind me of a woman I used to know who calls herself an master of neuro-linguistic programming’, she’s usually trying to get vulnerable people to sign up to her ‘life coaching’ sessions, which as far as I can tell involves tidying your knicker drawer and asking your boss for a raise.

Leave your colleagues to it, when the shut down lifts you can see your actual friends. Or your customers. Same difference, right?

Maybe if you just said what it was that would garner less animosity than constant vague referrals to your 'side hustle'.

it's too outing to give specifics

Or is it; 'too MLM to give specifics'?

My money's on MLM too.

There’s nothing dodgy implied by side hustle. Maybe it’s a regional thing, but it’s commonly used to mean ‘second job’ with no other implications.

dictionary.cambridge.org/dictionary/english/side-hustle

Your reluctance to say what it is & the 'vulnerable people' comment until you mentioned positive media attention made me think its sexual services to the disabled.... Especially as your coworkers seem to go off you once they know your 'hustle' But maybe its me. Or.... You're not doing that non sexual hugs for £60 an hour that the woman in the US does? She got a lot of positive press, but I thought it was exploiting the lonely & socially inept.

Maybe, your colleagues think you're going to quit the job and so couldn't be bothered to 'invest' in the time to get to know you.
But I honestly think they sound like a horrid bunch with their sarcy comments and all-round rudeness.
Your second job is clearly receiving positive vibes from the media, FB & others and I'd say your colleagues are jealous.
I wouldn't want to work there long-term and would start my escape plan. Good luck with your project.

Please don’t allow these people to make you feel bad. Ignore their negativity, and keep smiling, concentrate on making your side business a success and do look after the friendships you do have.
However I’m intrigued.... are you a hairdresser who makes wigs on the side? That’s my guess? 😉x

This sound dodgy af, if it’s so innocent why hide it from people you consider friends (your words). Surely if it’s a charity you want people to know and support?

Man I just flicked through the whole chat hoping OP would reveal the side hustle. What the fuck is it you teasing little. Sorry 4am and can’t sleep and have home schooling tomorrow and the coronavirus worries on my head but THIS side hustle has my knickers in twist. OP don’t post if you won’t reveal. Also I’m guessing you erotic dance for the vulnerable online or then soil yourself for laughs on YouTube.

As Pantsomime said they probably see you as exploiting the vulnerable. One of your former customers could have been someone in one of your colleagues families or friendship circle outside of work, who were unhappy with your services.

Anyway as you have friends outside work just forget about them.

Just please stop saying side hustle

Ffs what is it that you do on the side??

What's the side hustle OP?

I'm assuming you're providing sexual services to the disabled. Women don't tend to like sex workers. Next time you move jobs, keep schtum.

Just commenting to see if we find out what the side hustle is!

Wait. OP, are you American? If you are American, this would explain so many things in this thread. Not in a bad way, just a varying cultural differences sort of a way

No one can give you a useful answer as you refuse to reveal what this 'side business' is.

Also sounds to ne like some kind of webcam work. That would result in the responses you've had at work. If you're targeting a vulnerable population in some way it definitely would.

If the services are carried out in person, and are some form of cuddle parties or actual sexual service then for sure your colleagues' response to you would change.

Everything went well in the first two months and only happened when people found out about my side hustle

They're very unlikely to be jealous.
More likely they don't agree with what you're doing.

Is what you're doing ethical?

Hustle means swindle

This.

Yes, sounds american to me.
I think they are being pretty bitchy to ignore you as much as they do. Not come to your party.
It's deliberate and I would look for another job if I were you.
It might all magically change for some reason but if there is a good number of them and they have all decided to ostracise you for some reason that they have decided upon eg you are exploiting people, you don't need your job you are making so much from your other enterprise, some other spurious reason. After a year I doubt it is easily fixable, unless half of them go off self isolating then you are actually needed and in a different social set up - that could change things.