AIBU to think people are jealous?

[cherrypieandcheese]

NC for this one!

I work very hard running an online business that has helped a lot of people and gained a lot of traction. I tend to keep it very quiet. I take a very small salary thats not enough to pay bills and I hope one day in the future I can go full time. In the mean time I work part time. I scrape by every month. I try and not tell everyone what I do on the side because I'm a little embarrassed and I find people at my work are put off. If they ask me if I have another job and I tell them briefly about my side hustle, the conversation goes dead, so I change the topic.

Everyone at work seems really friendly and I think people like me. I still feel new, been there just over a year, but get along with everyone. Yet I am still not invited to parties. There are group chats I am not apart of, but people who have started working there in the past three months have been welcomed into. I am the only one. I held my own party and no-one from work came, despite all being invited. Others from outside work came so it wasn't a flop. I am the same age and have a lot on common with these people.

We have all just been put on unpaid leave. Three of my colleagues have posted on Facebook tagging every singe colleague at my workplace on how sad they are that they are no longer working together, except me. Again. Theres no-one I am close enough to ask about it without being worried everyone will find out my concern.

Everything went well in the first two months and only happened when people found out about my side hustle. I don't know if people feel as if we're too different because of my side hustle? I have opened up to a friend who has told me I should be so proud of how many people I have helped, but I am not. I am embarrassed. I feel the side hustle makes people feel as if they have nothing in common with me.

I have received a couple of sly comments about it from people at work. Someone suggesting I am going to leave as soon as my side hustle takes off, so i'm not really loyal to the company, another saying I must not have time for friends and family because I work so hard juggling two jobs and dont have the right priorities Just comments I can ignore in the moment but felt really off. This has happened from 5-6 people.

I really don't think there is anything wrong with my personality. I get involved, I am friendly and outgoing. My friend said my colleagues are jealous. Could this be true? There is nothing to be jealous of because what I do is very lonely, hard work, and I have thought about giving in a million times. Or is there likely another problem with me?

I have never had any problems in any other work place. This is the only job I have had since starting my side hustle and the only one I have trouble integrating. If anyone could shed some light it would be appreciated, thank you.

I also don't get why people have been so nasty on this thread. Cyber bullying isn't okay just because it's anonymous, or because it's AIBU.

She didn't even do what you all really want out of AIBU by arguing that she really wasn't U and that you were all nasty butches so that someone could post the predictable AIBU line that always appears:

OP: AIBU?
MN: Yes you are!
OP: No I'm not and you're all nasty bitches!

And you love it even more when the OP 'flounces'.

It's so playground in mentality.

You may even be right, but your conclusion is all based on one phrase, which the OP may have used in ignorance.

And it's even more pathetic this time, because you're addressing your posts to no one at all, as the OP has long gone and has undoubtedly left the thread!!!

I make money (£17ph) from my “side hustle” tutoring special needs kids, does that automatically make me an untrustworthy exploiter and “not a nice person” too? I can assure you my students disagree.

The fact that you go straight to jealousy makes me think that there's maybe something about the way you talk about your "side project" that's making people take a dislike to you.

I know loads of people with different additional income streams including the hated MLMs and it doesn't tend to even raise an eyebrow. If this is a common theme here then I'm sorry op, I think the problem may be you.

Hmmm I think I can possibly see the problem. To me you are giving mixed messages regarding your second job. It’s clear to me that you are very proud of yourself and what you have achieved - as you have every right to be - yet you talk of being embarrassed and not wanting compliments. I find this childish and tiresome. Either shout about it or don’t publicise it at all. Your halfway house comes across as attention seeking to me. I would be nice to you at work of course, no reason not to be but to be honest I don’t think we would be friends. Hope this doesn’t sound too harsh, trying to be honest. Agree with others comments that ‘people are jealous’ seems unlikely to be the cause of you not being one of the gang.

WHAT IS IT???

Hustle?

Saw that and stopped reading

Yawn

If OP is American she’s probably still asleep. OP, what is the “side hustle”? Your adoring public needs to know!

I make money (£17ph) from my “side hustle” tutoring special needs kids, does that automatically make me an untrustworthy exploiter and “not a nice person” too? I can assure you my students disagree.

Once the 'making money from the vulnerable' is clarified as you have above , then no, you are not untrustworthy. Great price too. I paid £20 an hour for maths tuition back in 2009.

I reckon you're a therapist/ coach of some sort. Working in the public sector and then doing your own thing on the side.

Hustle is very much a term used in the coaching industry (I. Am a qualified life coach but have distanced myself from the industry precisely because of this kind of terminology and what it represents.)

Whatever the business is, to hustle very much means to be pushy to the point of often driving people away.

There are numerous books and seminars out there all dedicated to “doing the hustle,” they’re all about how you can push your trade. Make people think they need your services and guilt them into signing up for whatever it is you represent. It’s hideous.

If that isn’t what you do then it doesn’t matter really, because the term itself will tell people about the kind of person they believe you to be.

I can't think that anybody would be jealous of you having a hustle or project or business or whatever, which paid so little you had to get a part time job too.

Also not sure why everyone thinks she's going round giving sexual services to OAP's, just shows the mentality of people here, get your minds out of the gutter

The OP says she doesn't user the term IR, and seemed genuinely baffled by the reaction to it. I would bet that it's her colleagues who have used it, in a derogatory way to put her down.

Ok so a coach for people with eating disorders or in recovery from addiction?
Hypnotherapist?

I find it bizarre that so many people on this thread don't understand how someone can make money from vulnerable people, as if being vulnerable excludes you from having to pay for any service or if alternative funding methods arent available.

For what it's worth, I run a community interest company. It doesnt make any money but I do hope that one day it will, through various grants to enable me to afford to focus on it full time.

I think it's caz you're overusing the phrase side hustle

If someone openly told me that they hustle vulnerable people then I'd think they were a criminal, morally bankrupt tosser and it would indeed be a chore to be around them.

If someone openly told me that they hustle vulnerable people then I'd think they were a criminal, morally bankrupt tosser and it would indeed be a chore to be around them.

Yep.

I find it bizarre that so many people on this thread don't understand how someone can make money from vulnerable people, as if being vulnerable excludes you from having to pay for any service or if alternative funding methods arent available

That would require people on here to have some common sense. On mumsnet saying you have a small business that involves helping vulnerable people automatically means you must be a prostitute

I personally find it bizarre that the OP wouldn't just think that her colleagues, for whatever reason, just didn't like her, rather than constructing a deeply implausible scenario where they must be jealous of a hobby business which doesn't bring her in enough to live on and which she says she seldom mentions.

Occam's razor, OP.

My initial thought was ASMR videos on YouTube but now I'm thinking life coaching?

I'm also still chuckling at the PP upthread who talked about when they referred to themselves as 'a sight for sore eyes'!

Also not sure why everyone thinks she's going round giving sexual services to OAP's, just shows the mentality of people here, get your minds out of the gutter

Agreed. Gutter minds is correct.

Such a collection of dicks on here it's unreal!

The NEED to be 'right' no matter how irrelevant their argument has become. Desperate and sad.

The automatic, unfounded assumption that OP is up to something shady points to some very negative, unpleasant people.

The OP says a friend suggested that her colleagues were jealous, and I see no reason to disbelieve her. She herself was simply confused and upset by the way they were treating her.
Either way, we won't know, as I don't think the OP will be back, she's coping with unpleasantness from her work colleagues so why would she want to have to put up with it on here??