To think this is not a dig and my husband should get over it?

[Rafaroo]

Hello All

Not a coronavirus related post and a bit frivolous in these current times but hoping it may take your mind off if you read it!

So... 2 weeks ago I gave birth to our second child and a few days later a package arrived for me from my sister. She sent bits and bobs for our eldest, some bits for the baby, a funny little novelty mug for my husband and something amazing for me - a pair of black Louboutin heels!! Now to give you some context, I do not own any designer shoes at all. I could never afford them before I was married and now I am married, my husband could afford to buy them for me but in both our eyes there is always something more important. Anyway, for years though my husband has been promising to get them for me and has mentioned this to me and to my sister. I've never held him to that though as with a child and another on the way, demanding a £500 pair of shoes seemed unreasonable at best! Anyway, my sister has now bought them for me and my husband is fuming. He says he thinks she is making a dig at him by buying something for me that he always wanted to buy me and it is her way of shaming him for not buying it sooner. Sort of like 'I had to buy this for my sister because you won't'.

I don't think it is like this. I think my sister just knows I really wanted them, and decided to spoil me with a lovely gift. My husband is really upset though and says he feels embarrassed. I personally think he is making a big deal over nothing.

So what do you think? Would you take it as a dig if you were my husband?

He's being a twat - I would just be bloody grateful she had saved me £500!

He is being a baby.

I might if I was in a mood at the time anyway or hormonal... Or tired 🤔
My husband would be thrilled he didn't have to spend the £500 on a pair of shoes. Although he'd have told me I'd lost the plot at the first mention of £500 for shoes.

If he wanted to buy them, then he should have bought them! But he didn't did he? Twat. Your DSis has done something lovely - don't let him spoil it by being petulant.

He's making it about him.

He should be excited for you!

If it's been years then he's being ridiculous.

for years though my husband has been promising to get them for me and has mentioned this to me and to my sister

He's being a little immature but I can see why he's upset. This was something lovely that he wanted to do for you and she has stolen his thunder.

Not sure how to vote but HIBU. It was a lovely gift from your sister when she probably understands that it's a tough time to have a baby.
He can buy you another pair if he's so inclined, you can never have too many shoes 👠😍
And next time he can get his arse in gear and actually buy whatever it is he ware planning to.

'...for years though my husband has been promising to get them for me and has mentioned this to me and to my sister.'

I think he should feel a bit embarrassed. It's easy to say things but not mean them.

And what a lovely thing for your sister to do for you. What a fabulous sister!

Your husband is being ridiculous

He is spoiling your enjoyment of your gift. How very small of him.

So you carry a child in your body for 9 months.
Give birth to it etc....
Your DSis does something lovely 'just for you' as she knows you deserve it.
And.... your DH is making it all about HIM!
Tell him to fuck off the twat!!!

*was planning to!

He is being an absolute twat by making this all about him. Also, totally ungracious.

He should have bought them years ago then!
Tell him to wind his neck in and buy you a handbag to match instead.
Petulant man-child.

I can see both sides but enjoy the shoes. He can buy you another pair if he wants.

You have a very lovely sister, often mum is forgotten about. If he wanted to get you the shoes so badly he would have gotten you them.

Blimey could he make it any more about him? What a twat.

Maybe ask him why he hasn’t bought them then, if he was going to?
It would of taken less than 5 mins online to do this.
Is no one else ever allowed to buy you something you want in case he wants to.

My guess is, he was feeling too stingy to buy them for you, and probably quite liked the power that he could, otherwise why hasn’t he already.
I’m not saying this is even a conscious thing that he’s even aware of

£500 for shoes ??

He’s being a stroppy brat.

He wanted to buy them for you for years but he never bothered, did he?

Now your sister has treated you to something wonderful and he’s throwing his toys out of the pram and attempting to ruin the gift into the bargain.

It could well be because he is embarrassed. And so he should be. He promised something and didn’t deliver.

He really should be focusing on his new baby, his wife and not his own perceived threatened masculinity at this time. What a pillock.

Try them on and kick him in the shin..
*joke.
You have just given birth.

You bloody deserve them!!
He is a knob...

I wish I had your sister! YANBU

This could be a passive-aggressive dig at him. Especially since he has been saying he wanted to buy the exact same thing for you and she’s essentially gone and stolen his gift idea. Normally people don’t steal other people’s gift ideas unless they’re sending a message.

Your husband being upset doesn’t make him a “twat” nor is he making everything about him. I’d try and see what the back story is because I think there must be bad feeling between him and your sister. If there were not, then he would not have cared that she bought them and been simply happy for you.