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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

No children allowed in supermarket

678 replies

flashbac · 25/03/2020 11:52

My sister went to Tesco with her toddler and was told no children allowed from next week. Understand this is wise for infection control but what if you're a single parent with tiny kids and can't do online shopping?

OP posts:
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Bathroom12345 · 29/03/2020 09:36

Aury. I agree, it’s shocking and rather sad that some people have a child with someone that has turned out to be a waste of space, who has no friends, no family etc who doesn’t know a neighbour, who doesn’t want to use Facebook for community help, who doesn’t drive, etc.

Marieo · 29/03/2020 09:41

@aurynne I expect people do, but they are isolating themselves, or have their own children so they can't just leave them. It's not that hard to imagine that someone could have a good network that isn't actually that helpful in this situation.

aurynne · 29/03/2020 10:08

@Marieo, this is not the only thread in which this issue has come up, and the others I have read happened much earlier than the coronavirus pandemic. It seems to be quite a common thing in the UK that people can live their life in complete social isolation and it baffles me.

HelenaHyena · 29/03/2020 10:13

it’s shocking and rather sad that some people have a child with someone that has turned out to be a waste of space, who has no friends, no family etc who doesn’t know a neighbour, who doesn’t want to use Facebook for community help, who doesn’t drive, etc.

I moved out of famiy/friend area kinda recently. Unsavoury and untrustworthy neighbours I wouldn't trust with a hamster let alone a 4 year old. Not made friends here, they are all in my old area and I see them a couple times a year, no car (London). In the event that I got sick, I do have someone who could take my child (DD's nan) but they live about an hour away by public transport, and they can't help right now because they are self isolating. DDs dad could theoretically help but he has lung problems and recently had surgery so he could die if he gets it.

Is it really so hard to understand that people move to new areas and don't just strike up friendships? Sure I've met other mums at playgroups with my DD but they've never turned into a friendship and I likely wouldn't recognise them on the street let alone have their phone number.

Realistically, there are people who have nobody. When they get so ill they have to be hospitalised, their child/ren get put into temp Foster care.

HelenaHyena · 29/03/2020 10:20

in many cultures that live by me that is normal.

In some places, children can forage for their own food by the age of 5. They can tell whether they are going South, East, West, or North because it has been ingrained in them since birth. They need these skills to survive. Is it any wonder a 5 year old child in this culture could not do the same without a map and a compass? Is it any wonder out 5 year old would starve to death if released into the wild? Its relative. What is normal for one child in one culture is not the same as another somewhere else and there skills will reflect this

GrumpyMug2 · 29/03/2020 10:49

I hope that when this is all over, people start to realise just how shit a lone parents life can be and stop looking down on us.

Though judging by a few responses on here, I doubt it.

Kbeeb1992 · 29/03/2020 11:02

Ofcourse we have family and friends you idiots! We are not allowed to see them at all never mind just drop the kids off with them so we can pop to the shops, we have specifically been told not to mix with other house holds! Yes if someone got sick and had to go to hospital arrangements would have to be made but thats in an emergency not to get some shopping! Jesus christ!

PotholeParadise · 29/03/2020 11:39

Bathroom12345

Well done for being pointlessly nasty.

LoveNursing · 29/03/2020 12:07

hope that when this is all over, people start to realise just how shit a lone parents life can be and stop looking down on us.

I have nothing but utter respect and admiration for the additional struggle you must have. Just for the record Thanks

TrishTeres · 29/03/2020 12:26

Single parents have my undying admiration. I responded because someone else said where's their dads and got criticised. Please let's put the kids first and not be too sensitive to bring up what really matters. Statistics show overwhelmingly that children thrive more with both parents. Single parents are heroic. But no one parent can also be two parents. No mum can also be a dad. No dad can also be a mum. And both together are far more than the sum of their parts. I hope we make sure our kids plan to have their kids grow up with both. And let's support those for whom that does not work out through no fault of their despite their best intentions.

doghairismyglitter · 29/03/2020 12:35

isn't this the time to start reflecting about how to change that, even if it is only for the safety of your own children?

I guess bring family back from the dead, ask grandparents not to live hundreds of miles away, have a crystal ball for relationships to see if they will turn sour, don’t let husbands leave for other women, date anyone just so you’re not alone, make sure you’re friends aren’t single parents themselves so they’re always on hand to help, have lots of friends without kids that can help at the drop of a hat, vet all neighbours to ensure they can help out before moving into a new house, flout refuge rules and stay on social media....

Fucking hell....

Mintjulia · 29/03/2020 12:41

doghair Grin

My ex rang me, said he didn’t think coming to see his son was worth the risk (to him), he was sure I would cope fine, and he'd see us when it’s all over! Hmm

Spineless wazzock.

ThumbWitchesAbroad · 29/03/2020 12:44

What's bothering me now, for all you lone parents and vulnerable people who are having to stay isolated and rely on outside help, is that there are now scammers moving in. Scammers telling people that they have to pay a fine because they've been caught out, for e.g. - how long is it going to be before they infiltrate the "good neighbour" groups? if they haven't already done so!

I know the advice is only get the minimum to get by, but that's still money that many can ill afford to lose if they get caught. It's a very upsetting time and I hope that people CAN find a way through it - but supermarkets being more understanding about people who have no one else to look after their kids has to an important factor in that.

RidingOn · 29/03/2020 13:42

This from the Scottish Government website, 5 minutes ago:

Stopping public gatherings
To make sure people are staying at home and apart from each other, the Scottish Government is also stopping all public gatherings of more than 2 people.

There are only exceptions to this rule for very limited purposes:
• where the gathering is of a group of people who live together - this means that a parent can, for example, take their children to the shops if there is no option to leave them at home

www.gov.scot/publications/coronavirus-covid-19-staying-at-home-and-away-from-others-social-distancing/pages/stopping-public-gatherings/

Interestingdrug72 · 29/03/2020 14:17

Single parents need to take children shopping. There is no other option.

However, I don’t expect to see older teenagers there.

Rosebel · 29/03/2020 14:40

I don't u understand. One supermarket in IOM said no children. Nowhere else has said it but suddenly everyone is screaming how unfair it is. Nothing is unfair. Children are allowed. Surely it's not that hard to understand.

doghairismyglitter · 29/03/2020 14:44

I think some people are saying it’s unfair the some others on here are saying “quite right, children shouldn’t be allowed”

StudentMummy20 · 29/03/2020 17:43

@Interestingdrug72 are their sweets and lucozade not essential?

EveryDayIsADuvetDay · 03/04/2020 08:02

Latest email from Sainsbury this morning states "Our store teams will be asking groups with more than one adult to choose one adult to shop and will ask other adults to wait. Children are of course welcome if they are not able to stay at home."

Bathroom12345 · 03/04/2020 08:46

Of course it should just be one person unless it’s just not possible and it should be clear to security if it isn’t. Couples wandering around, whole families because they are bored. As long as it’s clear when you join the queue!

People don’t seem to realise that if only 40 people are allowed in at one time and you are a group of 4 you use up 4 slots.

Sotiredofthislife · 03/04/2020 10:13

it’s shocking and rather sad that some people have a child with someone that has turned out to be a waste of space, who has no friends, no family etc who doesn’t know a neighbour, who doesn’t want to use Facebook for community help

But we can’t mix households? So even if I had the best neighbours
, friends, family ever, they are not allowed to help me out. That is in their best interests (and also in mine and my children’s). And as I am able-bodied and without health issues, it makes no sense getting someone else to do my shopping. What is so hard to understand about that?

SybilWrites · 03/04/2020 13:08

no you're not right @TrishTeres research shows that a child has exactly the same outcomes with one parent as two. it is NOT the fact that they only have one parent that disadvantages them, it is the fact that they are more likely to be in poverty than a couple family that disadvantages them.

Sort out the financial inequalities that single parents have (through no fault of their own - they are all down to structural and other issues that are easily remedied)and the outcomes are the same as they are for dual parent families.

As a single parent, I don't have anyone who would or could go and get my shopping for me right now. I would (if my children were younger) have to take them all with me. I have no choice. When I went to the supermarket last weekend, there were lots of couples there shopping together, and hardly any children.

Randomword6 · 03/04/2020 13:27

Just a suggestion, I have been out to shop for others, not part of any scheme. I admit it makes me feel good too! Op, can you think of people who offer to help when they may or may not mean it, ask them all and hopefully some will help you. If it's not too obvious, you might want to spread the load, ask one person to get you maybe eight things and another eight more. I know when I got to Morisons with my three lists I was a bit daunted. People paid me by bank transfer to avoid money changing hands.

TrishTeres · 03/04/2020 13:35

Hi Sybilwrites. I agree with you. financial differences are very material. In a single parent situation often one adult must be both bread winner and home maker. Even where parents are separated but fully supportive they still have two households to finance. But also other factors are very important as shown by this cdc study.l:

www.google.com/amp/s/www.lifesitenews.com/mobile/news/cdc-study-traditional-two-parent-biological-family-the-safest-environment-f

doghairismyglitter · 03/04/2020 16:55

That’s an article from over a decade ago, but all right then Hmm Also has anti abortion click links all over it. So I think I’ll ignore that website in its entirety.