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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

To start a Cf of the past thread?

233 replies

PrincessHoneysuckle · 25/03/2020 10:42

Not so many cf posts nowadays what with Corona.
Ill start:

A few years ago I came home from work to find my garden full of workmen and a fallen tree.Cf ndn had cut her tree down into my garden without asking/giving me the heads up and my garden looked like an episode of Groundforce Hmm I realised it had snapped my washing line too.

OP posts:
LolaDarkdestroyer · 01/04/2020 11:02

Inappropriatefemale you're hard!! Seriously though going to punch someone cos they're annoying you should have been sacked.

QuayboardWarrior · 01/04/2020 11:17

@sueelleker I was in a bad place with nowhere to turn. No help. I couldn't even afford to make phone calls to whoever I'd need to assist. I'm wondering if I was perhaps depressed. I'd get my measly £74 a week, pay £40+ out at the post office immediately as I collected it on postal orders to bailiff companies. Then £5 gas and £5 electric, £4 TV license etc. Whatever was left went on a bag of potatoes, a couple of bags of frozen chicken breasts and maybe some butter, milk and bread. If the gas ran out my "friend" would rather go to her mum's or the pub for the day than stuck a fiver on it.
I

EveryDayIsADuvetDay · 01/04/2020 12:24

consolidated cf'ry - brilliant

But what is the story of the Mexican House Thief?

sueelleker · 01/04/2020 13:01

It's in Classics.

SlipSlidin · 01/04/2020 13:05

It’s in classics, I tried to read it once but couldn’t get that into it, same with the tiny Korean woman. A lot of alleged classics elude me. I read “snapped and farted” live and couldn’t understand why everyone was claiming to find it hysterically funny. Anyway I’ve gone off topic.

Roussette · 01/04/2020 13:39

Two stories...

One... I managed a large voluntary group, a LOT of people. Every year we had a big meeting, followed by tea and cakes. And OMG there were some seriously good bakers amongst us who bought the most delicious cakes.

Ray (not real name) every single time would ask... what time does the tea and cake start? This was because he wanted to miss the 2 hour obligatory meeting and sidle in for the cake after. Every time I would tell him... you have to come to the meeting.

One year.... meeting happens as normal. Ray come in half an hour before the end blaming his bus not turning up. Meeting breaks up. Tea and cake served. I see Ray stuffing his face like a man starved.

Then he says to a few stood around "it's a good job I brought this with me!" and proceeds to take out of his pocket a huge piece of folded tinfoil and starts piling slices of delicious cake into it.

I tell him in no uncertain terms to put the bloody tinfoil away and he isn't leaving the building with masses of home made cake. He stormed off at that point...

dayswithaY · 01/04/2020 13:39

I also really really don't get "snapped and farted". I have read the thread - why is it so funny? Ditto screaming in the Sistine Chapel - I just don't get it.

Balonz - now that was funny.

BanKittenHeels · 01/04/2020 13:40

My next door neighbour was outraged that I wouldn’t let him extend his house into my attic.

Roussette · 01/04/2020 13:44

Second one....

Friend (now an ex friend) single, a total lazy arse, only worked 2 days a week (although very capable of more) and was always broke. I was always giving her stuff (more fool me). Clothes mainly, but meals out and drinks too. She moaned she hadn't had a holiday for years.

I paid for a villa, her airfare, a hire car. The lot. Completely free holiday for her because she hasn't got a bean. She said. We got to the villa and she's unpacking and she says...

"Look at the skirt I bought at Gatwick. £90 but it's gorgeous"

So she had no money to even contribute £50 to the holiday but could splash out on a £90 skirt?!

The friendship (if you can call it that) faded after that...

dayswithaY · 01/04/2020 13:49

I have a similar CF cake story. Man working in office keeps a cheap stash of birthday cards in his drawer. He whips one out and presents it to whoever he sees is having a birthday - even if he has never spoken to them before. They feel obliged to offer him one of their birthday cakes. He takes the biggest one and he never speaks to them again.

A two tier tea trolley came round one day loaded with cakes as a thank you for a case we all worked on. The same man bends down and twists his upper body so it is practically inside the lower level of the trolley. He licks his finger to mop up all the crumbs that have fallen from the top tier of the trolley, thinking no one can see him.

This man is a successful barrister who earns a fortune.

MrsOrMiss · 01/04/2020 14:12

I have a couple

We lived abroad and had a flat in a holiday destination which we had rented out. We found out that the renter - I say renter, but he somehow failed to pay rent, but was supposed to be carrying out the maintenance in lue of the rent - hadn't kept his side of the bargain, so we decided to make it saleable then sell it. We were going back to the UK and would need to sell because of capital gains tax if we sold it when we were back in the UK AND couldn't afford the mortgage when we went home.
We have the tenant notice we wouldn't be renewing the flat as we were selling. Our DS1 heard we were selling and had always dreamed of living abroad, so he asked if we would let it to him. We were taken aback as his GF had a young baby, he had no Uni degree, the place needed a lot of work and what about capital gains tax? So we decided to delay our return, but ask him to pay rent to the value of 10% the market rate, they'd have to pay for repairs etc. We told him if we went back to the UK, we'd still have to sell. He was very happy, said he had savings and would pay for anything they needed as they'd be using them.
Off they all went, first the sofa was really old, so I told them to get another one and there were a couple of decent second hand shops selling sofas etc. They bought a brand new one - didn't want the DGC having to lie on a second hand 🤨 ok. A few hundred there. The oven went, but they paid for that. DS1 and his GF managed to get jobs and made a life, still paying a tiny rent. Fast forward a year, we really had to go back to the UK, my DH wanted to sell the flat, I didn't, but as I was going over to see DS1's family, I agreed to look into it. Before I spoke to an Estate Agent, I offered to sell the flat to DS1 for basically what we owed on the mortgage - £85,000. He said they wouldn't get a mortgage and they couldn't afford it anyway. The Estate agent told me - before viewing - we'd have no problem selling etc etc and would sell quickly. I didn't want to sell and I debated not letting DH know, but obviously I did tell DH. DS1 said it was fine selling the flat, that they'd need another place but not to worry. I made sure to tell the Estate Agent to be sensitive to my DS1 and not be cheeky with viewings. An offer was made, I told DS1 he said it was fine, just give him plenty of notice to find somewhere, I told him it would be a few months. I did ask him to go to the town hall and pick up the deeds - it was 1 mile from the flat - and sent sent him £100 to cover the costs. DS1 said he would go that day for them and drop them off at the estate agent on his way back to the flat. Three days later the estate agent called to see if I'd been able to get them, we needed them to prove we had ownership before selling. DS1 wasn't picking up his phone, so I called DS3 who lives near our flat. DS3 said DS1 was busy packing and didn't have time to pick up the deeds, or the phone. DS1 was flying back to the UK to surprise his GF who was visiting her family. I called the Estate Agents, they offered to go get the deeds for me on his lunchtime, so I sent him costs. I sent DS1 a message that it's ok, he didn't have to go for me but he'd need to send me the £100 back. He sent me a message telling me how upset he was that we were making him and his family homeless and yes, he'd send me the £100 when was paid, but he was moving out as soon as possible but he would pay me the last months rent - £150. He was very very upset that we'd decided to use our savings to buy another house in the UK that his grandma would be living in. That I'd ruined such a special time in their lives - he flew in to the UK to propose to his GF, her parents helped with his plan, picked him up at the airport etc. He didn't tell any of his family as he didn't want his GF to find out about it. We all live in the North West, all of us. DS1 said they wouldn't be coming to see us as they 'needed time to process' what had happened!!
This was over a year ago. They're both back in the UK now, living with his GFs parents and looking for work, he's broken the silence - yes, not messaged or spoken to me for over a year, I was forbidden from sending gifts or cards or even knowing where they'd moved to. I feel cynical thinking he's only on the look out for handouts.

The next one is an aeroplane one. I wrote the saga down as an AIBU for my DDs to read, hoping they'd have a good laugh at least.

Got the the Dubai leg of the trip- I was allocated a window seat.
I board the plane to find a lady sat in my seat, her husband was next to her. I look at my boarding card and then the seat numbers, yup my seat is the window seat. They both ignore me, the kind of ignore that indicates awareness.
Steward arrives directs me to the aisle seat, Erm, no, my allocated seat is the window seat. Him n her still ignoring me.
Steward informs them of their error.
Mr Seat man says summat like ‘Hilda, you’re in her seat’ still not looking at me (like you don’t KNOW????). I decide, you know what, it’s a seat I’ll be a big girl and take the aisle. And I suggest I take it. Not a thank you was uttered or even looked in the direction of.
I was a tad irked as Mr and Mrs Seat look like a lovely couple with accompanying manners.
It’s fine.
After the flight took off, a very sweet little boy of about 3 - who had been eyeballing me (can you tell what will happen next, no prizes though), came and stood right next to me, I had been smiling at him - he was very sweet looking and I always make it a point of smiling at little children. Flights are stressful enough without old bags doing the scowl face.
Mrs Seat starts talking to Sweet Boy - hereafter known as SB - and he wants to sit with her. His dad - I’m assuming such as he came and picked him up and passed him over me to his loving GPs.
‘Oh, sorry’ was his utterance at me, glancing at me. I passive aggressively hahed.
The steward came along with SBs food. Yes, passed him right over me again. No sorry or excuse me, kiss my ass or nothing. I was more irked.
I knew as sure as Mrs Seat was in my seat what would happen next, can you sweet readers?
MY food comes along. I start eating when Who should appear right next to me - no not Santa and 8 tiny reindeer- but yes, SB.
His mum appeared and looked a little ‘erm, what do I do’
How about, TALKING to me???
I turned to Mrs Seat and said ‘You know, if you’d just sat in YOUR seat, this could’ve been avoided’
Mrs S is now actually LOOKING at me.
‘Yes, I am aware, he just wants to see me’
🤯
‘Then why did you take MY seat? You knew before sitting down it wasn’t yours’
‘Yes, but I was upset’
Uncomfortable silence.
‘May I suggest the next time you stay in your seat’
‘I’m aware of what you are saying’
🤯🤯
‘But you’re NOT listening. This plane is full of people, you don’t get to be more important’
Her face than became really hard faced
‘What’
I repeated
‘You can have your seat back, you want to sit here’ like IM the Fetching problem?????
No love, you are rude, have no manners, are very entitled and are bringing up your grandchild likewise.
I started to lose it, told her I had 7 grandchildren myself and knew what a strain travelling with them is BUT if she’d had simply anticipated that SB would like to be with his GPs AND SAT IN HER SEAT all this fuss could’ve been avoided.
Steward came over and Mrs Seat told them I wanted my seat back - again like IM THE Fetching problem!!!
I said ‘I’m going to eat my breakfast now and calm down’ and put my headphones back on.

The end surely????? Oh no sweet readers.

I finished my food and as I hope I am a normal person with MANNERS was expecting a few soothing words of regret or apology from Mr and Mrs Seat or even their daughter Rachel. But no, Mrs Seat put up her table and instructs Mr Seat she’s moving. Didn’t. Even. Look. At. Me.
Steward comes by and she -Mrs Seat - says ‘before I get my tray SHE wants this seat so I’m moving.’
Love, if you’d spoken to me I would’ve been much happier to move.
So I laughed sarcally and said ‘yes, of course I’ll move’ ☠️

When I sat in my seat I may have said ‘Thank you’ terribly sarcally.

So now sweet readers, I’m stuck sitting next to Mr and Mrs Seat, it’s a tad tense. Especially as I’m sharing the arm rest with Mr Seat.

Sometimes I wish I drank.

I hope he’s been ‘clocking a look see’ reading as I write.

We’ve now landed and they’re talking loudly to each other in their poshest accents.

I waiting to get my stuff and a wee cos, of course, I didn’t want to disturb them by going to the loos. 🤪

The joys of my jetset lifestyle.

igotdemons · 01/04/2020 15:14

My DSis is a CF of the highest order- if I listed everything she’d done over the past 25 years, I would be massively outing myself. Let’s just say that her and her DH are always ‘conveniently skint’ when it comes to affording the essentials of life but strangely always have the money for things like expensive day trips out and branded clothes for all the family. Anyway, quite a few years ago now they needed a new washing machine as theirs was on its last legs and as they have a large family, needed a new one but ‘couldn’t afford it’ at the time. Cue my DBro offering to sell them his almost new one as he was moving into a place which provided white goods. DSis said can we pay you £X a month and my DBro agreed. Anyway, the upshot was that even though they took the washing machine, no money ever changed hands, my DBro didn’t have the balls to say anything and when my DMum asked my DSis why she hadn’t been paying anything she blamed her DH for being too tight! 😧😂 They had their ‘free’ washing machine for quite a few years before it conked out and 20 odd years later is it still a bone of contention within the family!

Same DBro has obviously not learned a lesson from the above as he also recently lent our other DSis money to buy a large household appliance because she ‘couldn’t afford it’ (even though she is always spending money on other things!). 2 weeks later she bought herself a brand new Apple Watch...! Hope he’s not so generous in future...

Soubriquet · 01/04/2020 15:17

My sister is a cf disguised as being nice

She donated a huge bag of girls clothes when my dd was born. Only the only place for them was the bin. They were stained, stank of smoke and some even had holes. She was “trying to be nice” when in reality she didn’t want to take the time to take them to the tip.

She had a right go at me once because I didn’t want to take in her dd’s single bed frame. We didn’t need it nor did we have the room to store it, but she was furious because she had to find a way to take it to the tip when she was hoping to fob it on us.

She couldn’t sell it as several bits were broken but it was “good enough for us” Hmm

SuburbanFraggle · 01/04/2020 16:23

What ever happened to softzilla? It was a CF who wanted her food paid for or something then became a stalker.

Raindancer411 · 01/04/2020 16:26

@SuburbanFraggle I think it turned out to be a troll thread

CatsMother66 · 01/04/2020 16:28

I had a seriously CF friend who emigrated a few years ago. I gave her a lift with all her bags to the bus station 20 miles away where she was catching a bus to Heathrow, about 160 miles from me.
She asked if I would do the same for her DS who was finishing up in Uni in a month’s time. I felt sorry for him, so I agreed.
It changed to asking me to drive him to Heathrow 160 miles there and another 160 back, which meant I would have to make child care arrangements.
Not only that but his cousin, Aunt and grandmother were coming with me to see him off. All could drive!

JorahsMistress · 01/04/2020 16:29

Just remembered another couple

Sis1 & her dh are really bad with money, she works part time & he works now and then, but not for long as he always ends up getting sacked

They were claiming tax credits as a couple, but she knew she would get more as a single parent, ditto housing&council tax benefit, so decided she would pretend he had left her & asked me if i would allow her dh to use my address, to pretend to official bodies that he was kipping on our sofa!

I said i would think about it and discuss with my dh, i had zero intention of agreeing, was just playing for time so i could think of the best way possible to say "fuck no" in a polite way

This was a mistake as a week or so later a letter arrived from the dwp addressed to bil, she had gone ahead an did it anyway! I called her an told her of the letter, told her i wasn't happy that she had just gone ahead and done it, and that i wasn't happy with her trying to involve me in fraud, especially as i myself happened to be on benefits at that time so it could have huge implications for me too, i told her i would send dh round with the letter, but that she must call who she needed to to sort this out as i didnt want to be involved, she said she would

Another week or so later and a letter for bil arrives from the council, really pissed off by now i call again and say this is not on etc etc and that i have written 'not know at this address' on the envelope and put it in the post box (wasnt lying, i really did) she was angry but i said its not my problem, said goodbye and out the phone down

Got removed & blocked off social media and she had clearly been bad mouthing me as sis 2 from my pp and their mum followed suit & i got a call from my dad asking me to apologise 😡

JorahsMistress · 01/04/2020 16:39

A long time after this when me & sis1 were on speaking terms again, she had booked a min break for her, dh & their dd, a weeks before the balance of the trip was due (about £300) she realised she had totally mismanaged her money (AGAIN!) and couldn't afford to pay that and her rent which also happened to be due that same week

She asked me if i could lend her £300, i said sorry no i cant afford it (also didn't trust her to pay back) she tried to guilt trip me by saying it would be my fault if her dd missed her trip which was a birthday treat, i said no it wont, your the one who booked the trip when you knew you couldn't afford it without hard saving and then never bothered to actually save, im sorry for dn if she misses out in her treat but i simply cant afford to help

She hung up and again i was removed from social media and bad mouthed to the others, and the usual call from our dad asking me to sort it out with her, i refused of course these are only a couple of the MANY MANY reasons i dont speak to that section of family now

nibdedibble · 01/04/2020 16:55

DH's SIL got his DB to ask their dad for £70k out of his pension pot, so they could pay off their mortgage. There was no question of them paying it back. She basically seemed to think that FIL didn't have that many years left anyway so didn't need the money for anything, and also that £70 would be BIL's inheritance (dream on!).

Super cheeky fuckery and really pretty cruel to boot. He didn't do it (he wasn't able to anyway) and the sadness in his eyes when he told us the story...It's fucked their relationship forever, frankly.

QuayboardWarrior · 01/04/2020 18:04

In my mid 20's I worked for DM and SF's business. I signed and mailed a lot of paperwork on a regular basis as requested by DM and one was as a Guarantor for their business loan of £10K. I could never pay that but DM and SF had a LOT of assets. She assured me that of course I'd never be required to pay because even if it did go all wrong they had multiple cars, a few quad bikes (new), a top of the range Motorcycle, horse trailers, stock trailers and even a ride on lawnmower. Eventually their company closed and they opened a new business and I moved away with DH. One day 3 years later I received a call chasing me for a £20K debt. £10K loan and £10K business overdraft. It turns out I owed it as a guarantor. My parents had never paid them back. Not one single payment.

The chap on the phone asked why I wasn't sticking to the arranged £100 a week repayment as I had never paid a penny. I told him I didn't know of any arrangement. I didn't know about the debt at all. He told me he'd spoken to me personally a month ago when I phoned him after receiving a letter. I denied this and he said it was me as I had confirmed my details ie. full name, DOB and address etc. He was shocked when I said it must have been my own mother pretending to be me and the debt was in fact, theirs but as a supposed guarantor I understood why they were chasing me. I explained I was 8 months pregnant, had no assets whatsoever, not even a car, and I worked 2hrs a week helping out in a cafe.
Upset, I said he'd need to take me to court, get CCJ and I would have to use that to declare bankruptcy because there was no way I could possibly pay that. He was really nice and said no, he'd leave the case open a while and then return the debt as unreclaimable as there was no point to bankrupting me because they STILL wouldn't get a penny.

A few months later DM came into an inheritance of £26k. They spent it on renovating a RENTED mansion instead of offering a final settlement on my debt.

At least karma meant that the landlord sold the place and kicked them out as soon as the renovations were finished.

NemophilistRebel · 01/04/2020 18:07

About 15 years ago I lived with my then boyfriend in a flat his parents owned but didn’t live in

One day we were told by his older brother that they were going to stay for the weekend and have some women they met abroad over for the full weekend and told us to get out so they could have our room

Despite telling them it was our home they did it anyway and said that because it’s their parents flat they all have the same right to it

Despite us paying rent

I’ve never forgiven him for it and to be honest I lost nearly all respect I had for ex boyfriend at the time as he let them with minimal fuss

I came back after the weekend to have to strip back and wash all our sheets and clean everything

NemophilistRebel · 01/04/2020 18:08

If you’re on here Melissa - yes that’s your now husband who did that.
He’s more of a pig than you’re likely to ever know

JunoJigglewick · 01/04/2020 22:58

Was at a whole day workshop with work and everyone was looking forward to lunch as the venue was well known for the excellent soup, sandwiches and cakes.

When it came round to lunch, the savoury food was served first then about 20 minutes before the next session started, cake was served. Lots of cake, but there were about 70 people there. So an ample supply to ensure everyone had a choice but not so much that there would be loads wasted. I joined the queue and was behind someone with a big lunch box under their arm. I thought nothing much of it bit I was utterly utterly gobsmacked when he opened it up and loaded it up with half a dozen slabs of cake. He turned to me and said "waste not want not" and gave a cheery laugh.

We were in the first group of people to hit the cakes! Greedy fucker took way more than even a generous share.

Jimdandy · 02/04/2020 18:29

Bump!

Really enjoying this thread!

scaryreading · 02/04/2020 18:47

@dayswithaY Grin

That is priceless. Is he tall and lanky

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