To start a Cf of the past thread?

[PrincessHoneysuckle]

Not so many cf posts nowadays what with Corona.
Ill start:

A few years ago I came home from work to find my garden full of workmen and a fallen tree.Cf ndn had cut her tree down into my garden without asking/giving me the heads up and my garden looked like an episode of Groundforce I realised it had snapped my washing line too.

@ArentYouAshamed

Lol, I remember your thread... weren’t they in upstairs flat and started knocking on your door for milk? And would know your car was parked on the drive... that was some super level CFery

@Rowan8 yeah. Few details changed (just as my other post had slightly different details too just in case).
Lockdown has actually solved the issue for me now. But I did see them coming back in someone's car yesterday. They're still going out shopping in town nearly every day.

@OchAyeThaNoo

Errr.... that’s beyond unacceptable, and huge apols for possible outing, please wipe your door handles and the main door and any where they are likely to have touched.. be well and stay safe 💖

@Rowan8 I've been disinfecting public areas, garden gates and doors anyway regularly to protect others and quite possibly even break a contamination chain just in case. You never know who's handled what and what they have on them. I'm not particularly scared of CV but it's not like I'm busy doing much else on lockdown.

@Oldbutstillgotit I loved your post, I remember he was caught bragging somewhere about how he blagged himself a free holiday.
They really were CF!

This is the best thread on Mumsnet. But we, could I raise my hand from the back of the room and sheepishly ask WHAT DOES CF STAND FOR?! It's killing me I guessed crazy fucker but I think it's more related to money but can't think of it.

Cheeky Fucker

I just had a lady from down the street at my door telling me off.

Long story short, I shared a lockdown post (ie. "it means don't visit family, friends, your great aunt fanny...." etc etc. Post and I said something along the lines of "I keep seeing people around visiting friends, coming out of each others houses driving around, meeting up as if Coronavirus isn't a thing so PLEASE STOP!"

She said if I had a problem with anyone I should speak to them and gave me a huge telling off about slagging folk off on Facebook. I thanked her for her concern but stand by my social media posts and if anyone thinks a rant about people breaking the law is about them then perhaps they are doing something that they shouldn't?

In actual fact my post was a wide aimed one. Half the people in the area are ignoring the rules.

Well CFer dear, I'm sorry you think I'm bitching about you personally. You're a CFer for getting mad about it.

This thread is my favourite part of the day, please let there be more 😂

DSis is a major CF and always has been. When she was decorating DN room I offered her a double bed from my spare room. She accepted the offer then asked would I sell the bed instead, as she wanted a different style, and give her the money

On a night out a friends friend took my jacket home by mistake. Her jacket was left at the end so I took that home, it was raining, December & about 4 sizes too small! DF got in touch to ask could a courier pick up the jacket I had & return mine. All good except my jacket never arrived, DF’s friend said she couldn’t find it anymore!!! I had already returned hers, no offer of replacement or payment. I’m still fuming that her mistake cost me a jacket!

Work colleague broke up with her BF. I offered to let her stay with me while she found a new place. We didn’t discuss rent etc as I thought it would only be a week. 3 months later and she’s bragging to me about how she can start a great savings fund now she has no rent!!! She was swiftly moved on. This same CF would have her hand out for a euro if she bought me a coke.

I have so many cf stories,mainly neighbours. But what really gets me is the amount of cfs in the internet. I have a small illustration business, alongside my job (until I lost it with the covid19 going on ) so obviously I need the money now more then ever. Posted some of my work for sale in a fb group. Woman asks for a link to download. I explain this is actually my income, I dont give my work away for free, and she calls me selfish because "art is about sharing" 😂

You name it I've had it, people asking for freebies, asking for "charity donations" people taking up hours of my time having full chats about what they want and what they get a price say "they didn't realise they had to pay" people just dont value creative work

Oh and shout out to the woman who wanted a full commission and said my payment would be knowing I've done a random act of kindness. People are batshit crazy

DH was lying in bed in our old flat and water started coming through the ceiling - not a full on torrent but a bit more than a drip.

Ran up to the neighbours who apologised and said they'd get a plumber to take a look.

Next week same thing happened. DH went back up and was basically told "yeah we have a small leak in the waste pipe from the bath. But it's ok because we don't have baths very often".

CF had no intention of fixing it. A month later, and before we could claim it on their insurance (assuming they had any), they do a moonlight flit. Turns out they hadn't been paying the mortgage either.

I was talking to a co-worker who I barely knew. Turns out we were both going to be on holiday in the USA at the same time. She was a single mum to a toddler and was going on holiday with him and her new, younger boyfriend. We were going to be staying about an hour 's drive away from each other in USA.

She then excitedly suggested that while on holiday, we get a rental car, drive over to her holiday home, pick up her son, take him back to ours for the night so that her and her boyfriend could go out drinking.

Of course she said, she would return the favour and take my children for the night so we could go out drinking too.

I said "Yeah, that's not happening", turned and walked away.

Oh and the flatmate who used one of my good quality saucepans to melt her leg wax and knackered it.

She replaced it with a cheap shit one from Tesco.

@Dotty1219 surely an instagram post tagging you is all the payment you need? Think of the EXPOSURE!

DH and I were both military and were away at the same time in Iraq. Came home 6 months later to find our 30 metre long, 5 foot wide beautiful hedge had been completely removed and replaced with cheap fencing 2 inches from the side of our house the entire length of our boundary. Our CF builder neighbour had removed the hedge as this then gave him enough space to build a blimmin chalet bungalow in his garden and provide access to it. He said it was his land and told us to do one. A quick trip to the land registry office followed by the solicitors and he ended up buying our house which we had always been intending to sell on our return for top buck else he wouldn't have been able to sell or rent the house he had built with our stolen land as technically about 2 foot of the whole property was on our land.

We were going to Florida and I casually said to my friend if she wanted us to buy anything while we were there, expecting her to say Hershey bars and a bobble head Obama for the dashboard (both items she had mentioned before).

A couple of days later I got a list of very specific items Vans jacket, Abercrombie & Fitch shirts, Hollister hoodies etc that ended up us having to specifically go to the Millennium Mall and cost over $400.

She was really happy with all the stuff but I had to chase her up twice for the money.

We went again a couple of years later and I made a point of saying we weren’t hiring a car this time so shopping was out of the question.

@AlexaCrowe oh yea silly me

A friend once invited me over to “make pizzas together”. Sounded like fun so I asked what I could bring. She gave me a long list of expensive gourmet ingredients to buy and said she would supply the flour (I was a student at the time). I was a bit but expected she might reimburse me (she didn’t). I arrived and found she’d invited a heap of non-mutual friends. She sat and drank wine with them while I make them all homemade pizza with gourmet toppings. I served them all and went home. I was very young and looking back can’t believe I didn’t tell her where to go.

Another “friend” was notorious for being a taker. I had come back from a holiday in my home country with a heap of wines, chocolates and other goodies so invited some friends over to share them. They all replied saying “Welcome back, calmama! I’ll bring some xxx.” CF replied “I will bring a pillow for me to sit on. Can’t wait to eat your chocolate and taste that wine.” It was the last straw for this CF who had ripped each one of us off a number of times by that point so I cancelled and met the others another time.

Not my story but husband's parents used to work abroad and split time between there and UK a few months at a time. When they moved back permanently decided to remodel the garden from low maintenance to a nicer place to sit.

In the process it transpired that the neighbors had cut a hole in the fence and hedge and installed a gate but we couldn't figure out why it was so small, too small for their kids even. Then we realised it was for their dog! All of the turds that we had assumed to be foxes were actually the neighbors dog who had used the garden as a personal bathroom whenever they were away!

A friend needed a place to stay and I had a spare room. I said I was happy for her to just pay half the utilities (water, electricity and gas). It was supposed to be temporary and as I was under 24 and unemployed I was on £74 a fortnight and that was all. Most of that went on the extortionate 90's bank charges I'd racked up. Remember the £28 charge for going £1 overdrawn, with a £25 letter charge to say you're overdrawn, then another £28 charge and £25 letter for not having the funds to pay the first £28 and £25?!)

Friend moved in and immediately all my costs doubled and tripled. She'd have 3-4 baths a day, never turn a single light off, and constantly put the heating on. I told her she needed to pay for the extra and she refused as I had previously said roughly how much gas and electric I used before and she said she wouldn't pay anything more than half that cos I'd be profiting off her. So now instead of me putting £5 a week on my gas card I was putting £15 or more and she was giving me £2.50 for it! Same story for the water and electricity.

She also loved a night out and would come rolling in every single Fri, Sat and Sun anywhere between 2am and 4am. I know this because she had to bang on the door to be let in because she was such an excessive drunk that she would have her bag "stolen" almost every week. I'd been on enough nights out with her pre-unemployment to know she just got so drunk she'd stagger away from her bag. No matter how drunk we got her bag was always picked up by me and I'd end up lugging it around all night. Because of this bag losing habit she regularly borrowed my keys and would go into town and have herself a new key cut. She had at least half a dozen keys cut in the whole time she lived with me, (probably more). At one point she proudly showed me a new key fob she'd picked up. It had my address on. "Now they'll know who's key it is and I can get it back!"

I had to explain that it just gave the potential burglar a house to target, then I took the fob and binned it. She got another with her phone number on. I asked her how she would answer the call if her phone was in her bag with the lost keys. (She'd buy a new mobile every time she had keys cut in town). She had money to burn because she lived for free whereas my teeth started getting brittle and snapping because I couldn't afford food and wasn't getting enough to keep me healthy.
I was so relieved when she finally agreed to move out.

I’ve just come to the end of these and feel desolate. Please dig deep people!

I was so relieved when she finally agreed to move out. I wouldn't have waited for her to "agree". Next time she went out I'd have left her belongings on the doorstep and changed the locks.

Okay here's another. Not CFery but theft but thieves are CFers, too, right?

Busy village playgroup a few times a week. Started going when DD was a baby. Eventually the ladies who ran it moved on leaving it in the hands of another mum. Let's call her Betty. After a while Betty started asking me occasionally in the morning to sort the group that day because of whatever reason she had at the time. Okay, fine. I'd buy the snacks, open up and do the sign in book and take the cash and drop it in to her. It got to the point where she was never there and I was running it. No problem, the group was pretty informal and passing it on to the next mum was how the group continued.

One day she popped in and said she needed to pay the hall rent and swiped a handful out of the takings. Except I noticed she didn't actually count it.

Speaking to the old group leaders I found out there was £1000's in the account from a grant and fundraisers they'd had and they were surprised she hadn't bought the new play equipment it was intended for.

Betty kept announcing in the playgroup that she wanted someone to take over but no one was offering except me but she kept saying I'd "done enough. It not fair on me. Make someone else take their turn!" Turns out it was likely because she was aware I knew there was a bank account. She left eventually and handed a bag with about £50 or so in it. No sign in books nor receipts I'd diligently kept and given to her each session. We got the (long gone) second signatory of the account to go and get the statements. Betty has cleared the bank account by forging the 2nd signatory's signature. Police were useless because we couldn't prove that the other signatory hadn't signed the cheques made out to cash despite her saying it was clearly forged. Looking at the statements you could clearly see the timeline of withdrawals matched her Facebook.

"Taking hubby out for dinner!" = £150 cheque made out to cash that day.

"Sandra's Hen do! Woooooo! Newcastle here we come!" = £200 withdrawal.

She got away with it all because she claimed she never kept the receipts or the sign in sheets. There was no proof of income despite there being 20+ attendees each session paying £1.50 each and we couldn't prove she didn't pay £100's a week on the group snacks (a loaf of bread, the occasional margarine tub, milk and maybe a bunch of bananas.)