To start a Cf of the past thread?

[PrincessHoneysuckle]

Not so many cf posts nowadays what with Corona.
Ill start:

A few years ago I came home from work to find my garden full of workmen and a fallen tree.Cf ndn had cut her tree down into my garden without asking/giving me the heads up and my garden looked like an episode of Groundforce I realised it had snapped my washing line too.

This happened yesterday! My dd and I were having our daily walk, during this we approached a house on a residential street and were flabbergasted by the owners behaviour, (there will be a diagram) he had moved one car out onto the pavement/road at such an angle that pedestrians had to walk out on to the road! I assume due to social isolation. He had also cobbled together a step-ladder and broom to increase the strength of the barrier. He was gaily washing the other car whilst his wife did some light gardening. They are not over 70.

On the return leg I might have let out a strategic cough or two as we walked past.

Fecking 'I'm alright Jack'

Diagram

I don't believe you @fourquenelles
There's no way that cute face would do something so naughty

My dpuppy has greyhound in her. What have I done??

Gen, if you want to hide anything from a teen, put it where you keep your cleaning products.

Does anyone remember the poster whose neighbours kept breaking into the garden to use their play equipment? When the OP locked their side gate the CF neighbours shouted at them for hogging ‘the playground’ and would not be told that it was a private garden. I also wanted to know how that ended.

The DVLA don't have a record of it. The reg comes up as an un taxed blue Rover and it isn't.

That actually sounds dodgy. Take a picture and report the car, it might be a ringer.

Gen, if you want to hide anything from a teen, put it where you keep your cleaning products.

I like your style
Not so sure I want the biscuits in the cupboard under the sink though! I feel mean now not planning to share them but two packs of biscuits that were to last until next Wednesday is not fair game for one person to eat.

Haha! @fourquenelles.

My other Greek rescue is a greedy sod too. After my husband and I split up, he came over to help with decorating, as we were going to sell the house.

He stopped at the local parade of shops on the way to get cold drinks, snacks and something from the bakery for his breakfast.

He walked in, my dogs (who I got after we'd split) were really excited to see him.

But before we could even blink, my male dog had ripped open my ex's carrier bag and eaten his bacon bap in one gulp, still wrapped in the paper bag it came in!

I was so embarrassed. My poor ex-husband looked devasted. 🤣

@CoffeeWithMyOxygen - OMG Yes!!! I'd love to know how that turned out. I was aghast at how the neighbour genuinely thought that the play equipment in this persons garden made it a free-for-all and kept using it until that OP locked the side gate (yes readers there was a side gate which should have given the game away) and one of the CF children got locked in!

That was some Cfery right there!

I have no idea who posted that but I do remember that thread :)

Actually loving these

WhatchaMaCalllit I recall that thread, and wasn't it made more batshit by the neighbour trying to report the OP? I'd like to know how things stand there now.

My own CF is pretty mild compared to these. I live in an area for permit parking, and I can't park right outside my house as there are double yellow lines there, I park in the permit only car park across the narrow road.

New neighbour keeps parking his humungous range rover outside on the double yellows. This makes it quite difficult to reverse off the car park across the road. Prick.

He also doesn't have a permit. Don't think I'll be telling him the traffic wardens do come round at some odd times, eg 7:30am at the weekend. They like to catch people out.

If he does park on the car park, living there is no excuse, it's explicitly stated that the fines are for not displaying a permit in addition to parking on the yellow lines.

I rented a flat which was the top level of a terrace house. No parking restrictions on street. I once parked outside the next house as there was no space outside my own. She did not have a car but still came round to scream at me for parking outside her house. Apparently I shouldn't have because she was a home owner and I only rented! My parking was legal.

My ex ‘friend’ was the biggest CF I have ever met, I had gotten a £3k loan a few years ago to cover some bills and get new clothes and some new furniture and said friend texted me to ask for a loan of £500, I told her after I had got what I needed in terms of clothes then I would see what I had left and that I would help her with what I could but that it was unlikely to be £500, well she texted back and said that I was selfish and imagine telling her that I was spending my own money on clothes when she was in desperate need! She would repeat this story to people and in front of me and had the cheek to be speechless when they told her that I was well within my rights to tell the truth about what I was doing with my own money!

Meant to add that she only wanted the money to buy shit loads of drugs as had spent her benefit money on them! She also asked me about 1 or 2 years later to spend £500 on her for new clothes due to me having a well paid job, can you believe the CF

Ahh a friend of mine worked as a cleaner for some really well of people. She told them about the new washing machine she was going to buy from brighthouse and they offered to buy her one to keep her from paying the over the top prices BH charge. It was near xmas so I suppose they had the xmas spirit in overload. She told me about it and said she chose the most expensive one 'because they can afford it'
Just before xmas they gave her a £100 bonus too.
In january she stole one of their brand new blender type things worth a hundred pounds and bragged about them believing she had thrown it out 'accidentally' because it looked broken
Then finally in April (this was when I decided to drop her as a mate) she showed me their tax return that she had taken a photo of because she needed to show me how rich they were!

I found out recently her son is no contact with her because she stole about 5 grand off him so I'm pretty glad our friendship didnt last. Although I will admit I miss chatting with her- it was like a real life CF thread.
I do wonder if I should have reported her taking photos of her generous employers tax returns but i didnt know where to report it to. I especially regretted not doing something when I heard about her son.

I was managing a property and a tenant was struggling to pay. He calls me up and says he has good news. He's been pre-approved for a loan so he can pay, if I can be his guarantor?! ....

Blingismything how fucking immature of you coughing. Fair play to them for making a barrier to wash their car sensible. I'm actually sick of cf's I've never seen before constantly walking past my house when there is no need to, we are on a cul de sac which is big but there are plenty of routes my road isn't a necessity to get anywhere. My son likes to go on the front and practice his scooter with his ramp and he has asthma (vulnerable) but it's like Piccadilly Circus half the day stay on your own fucking streets ffs.

We have a cf parking related neighbour... Tells anyone who tries to park outside her window to buggar off as it blocks her light. Told me she didn't believe I lived in the Street anyway! We all pay for permits- she owns a bloody car park which is kept locked and empty at the side of her house!!

Noooooo I need more of these!

The PP who helped the burglars had me and in equal measure!

I leant a now ex friend £50 for a vet bill she couldn't pay, after 3months of promising that she would pay me back when she got her benefits, she turned up on my doorstop to show me the new dress she had just bought. I lost it and told her that she had bought the dress with my money. Within 15 minutes she posted it back through my letterbox (she must have sprinted back down the road) with a rambling note telling me how unkind I was and to ' never lend me money again' !
The same friend managed to pursuade me to look after her daughter for the last week of the school summer holidays while she went on singles holiday. She left her 2 dogs and cat in her home alone with a neighbour feeding them twice a day. The first night they barked all night so I ended up with them as well. At the end of the week she phoned to say she would be staying an extra week with a friend she had met there and I had to drive the girl 6 miles to school every day as she wasn't eligble to go on the school bus with my children.
Karma got her though as her house was full of 1/2 eaten dead mice, birds and rabbit the cat had dragged in. The flies and smell were gut wrenching.

A guy I know was buying a house and in the general chat it was mentioned the reason for the house sale was that the couple were moving to Australia. They said if you're ever in Australia come and visit. Like you do, just making conversation.
So him and his wife did exactly that the next year. For two weeks. Over Christmas. 😲😲😲

@PrincessHoneysuckle, thank you for this thread, I need something light and funny right now! I don’t have any cf stories myself but I am thinking about the thread where the poster didn’t like visitors so made someone who dropped by sit in the front drive in the rain while their children played.

Ha, MrsJack. I have a similar story. Just before we moved to Australia, we were trying to find tenants for our house back in England.

One of the older neighbours (call him R) we lived near applied and had his heart set on renting our 4 bed home despite being a single man and knowing full well he couldn't afford the rent. He came and looked around and we never discussed how much we were renting it out for or anything, so I assumed he was just being nosey.

Anyhow, we find a family to rent the house out to and sign contracts etc, in which time, unbeknown to us, R gives notice on the house he was living in and assumed he was moving into ours. Thankfully we found out quickly so he could speak to his landlord to stop landlord advertising his house.

Anyway, to soften the blow, as R was understandably upset, my husband said "if ya ever fancy a holidy in oz you're always welcome to stay with us blah blah blah". R wasn't well off, has reputation for not paying money he owes etc so never in a million years did we think he'd message us from the airport IN Australia asking for us to pick him up!!

Feeling obligated, because after all my husband offered, we picked him up. He was delighted to tell us he'd be staying for a whole bloody month. The longest month of my life. Although he's a good thirty years older than me, it was like having another child around. He asked me to drop the children off at school and drive him to the barrier reef so he could do some sketches. He got annoyed with me when I said no, because even the southern tip of the barrier reef is a thirteen hour drive each way. He thought I was being awkward not taking him and was in a huff for a few days because I couldn't do that one little thing for him.

He drunk all our beer, ate all our food and never left the house (except on three occasions - which I'll come to shortly) as everything was so far away and it was much hotter in February than he could have imagined! It was the height of our flipping summer.

He came to Australia with $300. That's about 150quid. For a month!!! He probably ate that much in food each week he was with us.

Two of the 3 occasions he went out, he got lost. Was uncontactable and ended up sleeping rough. One of those was the night before his early morning flight. We had to get the police out to find him as they were worried he was attempting to stay in the country (my blood ran cold at the thought). The other time he went out he ended up on an illegal nudest beach and had to accompany a man to hospital who'd got bitten on the @-/$!!!!

Anyway, that final morning when the police finally located him, he was at a local Shopping Centre getting souvineers as his mum had done a bank transfer for him to have some spending money. No offers of any money to us for the food he'd eaten!!! No thank you gift!

We look back and laugh now. Husband has been banned from inviting anyone to stay without running it by me first.

@Innitogether you're welcome