To tell them to go straight to the crematorium and not to expect to be let into my house?

[GoJetterGirl]

Just that.

Lockdown,

My boys funeral will not be the way he deserves, but at least we can have our 22 closest friends with us at the crematorium, socially distant (crem usually holds around 150) I’m thankful for that much at least.

The in-laws are complaining that they will have to travel up on the day rather than staying in a hotel, as the hotel they were booked at will be shut.

They have been told they are not welcome to stay here, because, it’s now law that households cannot mix and stay together.

Here’s where it gets annoying, the in-laws want to bring extended family to our house prior to the wedding, and are expected to sit like bumps on a log in our front room while we get ready to attend our sons funeral.

1. it’s no longer allowed
2. I’m immunodeficient, I don’t need my in-laws and co, tho don’t believe they need to isolate in my bloody house potentially infecting me and my family
3. I’m liable to lose my shit anyway, new law not withstanding...

So, what can I do to ensure they don’t run roughshod over me and my child’s funeral?

I’m at the point where I’m about to lose it big time

Its an awful situation for you and DH. He should be stepping up but I suppose if there is anytime a man should be given a little slack when dealing with overbearing parents, its after losing a child. The shitty thing is it then falls to you. No one wins here and my heart breaks for you.

Can a friend call and give them both barrels?

It's at times like this that I see the merits of karma - if there was any justice in the world it's people like your in-laws who don't think lockdown applies to them who would catch C19. Not that I would wish the worst of it on anyone, but it would be so satisfying for them to be forced to realise the rules apply to them as well.

Having read your previous threads about your ILs, I am so, so sorry that you are still having to deal with these awful people.

for you and your son. Wishing you and your family love, peace, and the strength to take you through the next days.

Op I'm so sorry to hear about your son. Your inlaws sound utterly toxic. You are being more than reasonable at allowing them even to attend.

When we cremated our daughter in November there was no way I could have dealt with anyone being in the house before we left for the crematorium. I was a mess all day and that was without coronavirus and self isolating. Had anyone dared suggest it they would have got it from both barrels.

I'm sorry your DH is not standing up for you at this time, he really needs to. You shouldn't have to deal with the in law drama on top of losing your child. To have to say goodbye to a child is in my oponion the worst thing a person can go through. At a time when everyone should be trying to make things easier for you, your in laws are just making it worse.

I hope friday goes as well as it can and I am sure your son will be extremely proud of how brave you are. Hugs. Xx

I’m so sorry for your loss. It’s really crap, isn’t it?
My own is a parent, which is bad enough, but your child.....horrendous. You toxic In-laws need a wake up call. And your DH needs to understand that you are his priority. I feel for you.
In answer to your question. I agree with crimson

Just stick to your guns. I'm sad for you, they will be sad too but must show some common sense. Most people don't mind.

Last year a close person to me died, we all met at the cemetary and everything went off beautifully. Of course there was no C virus around then so we went somewhere for a wake afterwards but who expects that at this time?

It will be alright on the day, I'm sure.

Don't know the previous about the inlaws but you're immunocompromised. They DON'T come to the house. For what it's worth .

thinking of you at this incredibly difficult time I read your thread on your sons last days and it broke my heart he sounded like an incredible little boy xx

PS and just who the f**k are the 6 people who voted YABU?

That is baffling me too, @tiredmedic!

I’m sorry for your loss but there is an added rule that I don’t know if it has been mentioned already:

Only 5 people allowed in the funeral (my colleague’s mum was on Monday and that was the maximum allowed) so I would say you may end up having to ask people to light a candle for him at home and do a little get together in the future to commemorate his life.

My deepest sympathy OP.

Lose your shit.Big time. Call the police.

That might spun your useless “D”H into action.

Your inlaws are cunts of highest order.

So sorry for your loss

Have been thinking of you- I hope it went as well as possible & your beautiful boy got the send off he deserved x

Thinking of you Gojettergirl 💐 xx

I accidentally hit YABU as the page jumped as that stupid Disney ad at the top loaded - I was intending to tap to go back a page.

I managed to tap on YANBU agsin but maybe it still registered both votes?

I hope your beautiful boy had the day he deserved yesterday @GoJetterGirl

Thinking of you xxx

Hope it went as smoothly as possible x

You're in my thoughts gig x