To tell them to go straight to the crematorium and not to expect to be let into my house?

[GoJetterGirl]

Just that.

Lockdown,

My boys funeral will not be the way he deserves, but at least we can have our 22 closest friends with us at the crematorium, socially distant (crem usually holds around 150) I’m thankful for that much at least.

The in-laws are complaining that they will have to travel up on the day rather than staying in a hotel, as the hotel they were booked at will be shut.

They have been told they are not welcome to stay here, because, it’s now law that households cannot mix and stay together.

Here’s where it gets annoying, the in-laws want to bring extended family to our house prior to the wedding, and are expected to sit like bumps on a log in our front room while we get ready to attend our sons funeral.

1. it’s no longer allowed
2. I’m immunodeficient, I don’t need my in-laws and co, tho don’t believe they need to isolate in my bloody house potentially infecting me and my family
3. I’m liable to lose my shit anyway, new law not withstanding...

So, what can I do to ensure they don’t run roughshod over me and my child’s funeral?

I’m at the point where I’m about to lose it big time

Yanbu. Can you get a friend to stand at the gate and tell them to bugger off? So sorry you are dealing with this and your. Child’s funeral.

I wouldn’t let them in. Definitely have a friend posted outside your front door to ensure they leave. Don’t engage during the funeral and ensure that friend is responsible for ensuring they stay the fuck away from you and your DH. I can’t believe they are still causing problems.

I'm so sorry for your loss. Thinking and praying for you during this difficult time

Good grief, haven't you been through enough? Tell them they are not allowed to visit your house themselves, let alone bring other people. Yes, they go straight to the crematorium, that needs to be made crystal clear. What part of "lockdown" do they not understand?

Thinking of you @GoJetterGirl

Surely maximum of 5 allowed and that includes priest or celebrant?

I would be welcoming them with a garden hose. And loose it. And call the police in advance so that they can all get a fine. That would be my plan detailed to hubby so he better handle it.

Sorry for your loss. No words.

So so sorry for your loss

I've been thinking about you, and hoping you were ok. These idiot people! Please find a friend to be the strongarm here. You just don't need this to deal with.

So sorry ❤️

They are so thoughtless to have proposed this (but not a total surprise given your previous posts). I am hoping that by now the news coverage and the government text has finally got through to them and they will realise that the usual funeral conventions don’t apply.

Your remark about needing a clean DBS for work made me laugh Gojettergirl. It’s not you telling them you can’t have visitors in your house. It’s the government with full backing from medical experts and people in other countries affected earlier than us who are saying it.

Thoughts with you as ever and on the day

OP, tell them you have the virus.

People only care when it's their own health, not anyone else's.

OP you shouldnt have to be dealing with this at such a difficult time in your life. That is enough reason to cut these people out of your life. If people cannot be considerate at this time in your life, why do they even deserve to be there.
Take matters into your own hands and do not explain yourself. Such utterly selfish, vile people to be doing this to you.

Lots of differing rules about number of guests at the crematorium at the moment I think. I read somewhere you were only allowed 5, but dps father has sadly passed away this week from cancer, and they’ve been told they are allowed 20 guests.

Again so sorry for your loss op, I can’t believe you’re having to deal with this, please please tell your dh he needs to be firm and tell his parents straight. This is not about them or their feelings, their son has lost a son; can’t they see that?

The five rule was for weddings, though they have been stopped now as well, and that was only two guests, who had to be witnesses. Funerals are immediate family only. Are the in-laws grandparents? Still shouldn’t come in your house anyway.

I am so sorry for your loss. My heart really goes out to you.

Honestly, you shouldn’t even tell them when or where it is. They don’t deserve to come for causing you this anxiety.

If they try to get into your house I would call the police.

I am so sorry for your loss. I cannot imagine how you must be feeling.

I woukd actually send CalmDownJanet's text, and then ignore them completely.

Thinking of you

Do you have any sensible in-laws, or friends who know them, who can support your husband in telling them they are not going to your house under any circumstances?

I bet they're exactly the sort of people who think the rules around contact don't apply to them, so unfortunately the risks of them bringing in CV19 are real.

I’m so sorry for your loss and for your utter cunt in-laws - you are 100% right to keep everyone out of your home.

Thinking of you today.

I have a friend poised to call police on my behalf on the Friday morning, all it takes is the text saying I need them to.

I will take this into my own hands as I think DH is useless right now.

Sorry for your loss OP

Your in-laws are going to have to get used to the idea that they can no longer do what they want. Just like many things right now, we have to abide by the rules. It's shitty and unfair but they will have to accept it, either from you or from your local police service. These are not "normal" times.