Is this acceptable during ‘lockdown’?

[GA2012]

I lost a close family member a little over a month ago. He is buried about 11 miles away in a quiet little church in the middle of nowhere. There’s never anyone there apart from services, weddings etc. I would like to visit his grave and put fresh flowers on.. I would visit at around 8-9am in the morning. I feel terrible that I haven’t managed to get up there for a couple weeks.

I’m aware we are told 15 minutes exercise a day.

Obviously we are isolating and not socialising with people but would it be acceptable to visit? It’s a 20 minute drive on rural roads . We’d literally just drive there, visit and come back. There’s never anyone there. It’s a church in the middle of nowhere with only a small hamlet up the road...

If we got there and there was people there we would come back another time..

The way I’m looking at this is yes you are allowed to do four things but do you need to? If there was a killer roaming the streets near you how important would it be for you to just nip to the shop? Is it worth dying for? Xx

It’s bc an hours exercise a day.

It’s an*

ultrablue

Surely they have a way round that for this very situation.
We found out that FIL's cancer is terminal and he is moving to a hospice soon. MIL is still allowed to visit him in hospital - she's been today and it is very much allowed. One person, one hour, per day.

The hospice says the same, at present anyway.

The hospital have been fantastic and - had his death been imminent were looking at ways even for DH to visit despite us being in isolation at the time - he wasn't able to as we are in isolation as dd had a cough last weekend, so coming to the end of that now.

There is not a 1 hour time limit. Where is your info from?

why would you drive to go for a walk or run?

It depends where you live. Sometimes driving to walk is safer in terms of isolation.

I am lucky. I can walk from my house for miles and not see a person once of the estate - and even that is very quite even before lockdown.

However, if someone lives in a densely populated area it may well be safer to get in the car, drive for 10 minutes or so and walk in a quiet empty countryside or park land than to just walk round their local streets.

I am so sorry for your loss - and for other bereaved pps on this thread.

If I was dead and in my grave, I would really want my loved ones to be doing the best they could for the people around them still living. Could you make a little shrine for them - a corner, with a photo and maybe some nice stones, a teddy, or perhaps a couple of flowers if you have a garden, and make a time to think of them there every week.

At least - that's what I would want you to do, if I was your relative. Take care xxx

It’s bc an hours exercise a day.

Nothing on the Government pages appear to have set a time limit as yet.

I'm so sorry for your loss OP. You are clearly a caring and responsible person, hence, your post asking for advice. Please ignore all the virtue signalling idiots on here. No doubt the majority of them are the same people who vehemently denied panic buying on a recent thread, but then went on to say "but I did just buy a few extras, every time I went shopping". Yes, the advice is that you should refrain from all non-essential travel. However, perhaps you could Incorporate your visit to the church into your once per day exercise regime. Good luck and stay safe.

there is never anyone there

Except presumably other people having funerals .

I am sorry for your loss, but you can remember your relative at home just as easily as you can at the place where they were buried. I have great sympathy for the poster who likes to tend her child's grave , but even under those circumstances it is not something that should be done for the next couple of weeks.

Nobody has said 15 minutes. We're allowed to go out to exercise once a day, no time specified. We're not allowed unnecessary travel so going miles away in a car would probably not be allowed.

I would like to visit his grave and put fresh flowers on

How does that count as essential exactly?

"if someone lives in a densely populated area it may well be safer to get in the car, drive for 10 minutes or so and walk in a quiet empty countryside or park land than to just walk round their local streets."

I agree as long as they're not going out of their own area i.e. from an urban to a rural area and potentially bringing the illness to a new place.

After reading some of these responses I really hope the government introduces a total lockdown and introduces measures to police it properly. It is clear that some people will read rules in a way that simply suits their desires and will justify it in any way they can. I despair, I really do.

Oh OP, I'm so sorry :(

I'm sure you don't really need yet another person saying you shouldn't do this, but I'm adding my voice to that anyway- you really shouldn't. It must feel awful though. Is there anything else you can do to remember your relative? Something that fits in with the current way we all need to live but is personal to you and them?

I'm going to be blunt:

Unless you and others that you love want to join your loved ones in the ground then I'd stay at home and protect people and the nhs

It's simple

After reading some of these responses I really hope the government introduces a total lockdown and introduces measures to police it properly

I unfortunately agree with you. The very very limited freedoms we have now are going to be taken away because people are just too damn selfish to follow the rules. It is despicable.

This virus can't move around by itself. It requires people to move it. If you have it, or pick it up while you're out - from whatever you touch or breathe in - you're shedding virus wherever you go and on whatever you touch. If people don't move around the virus has nowhere to go and it dies.

We had a situation of judgement call until last night. The PM was pretty equivocal that that was over. If people continue to try and work out how their special circumstances mean they've assessed their own risk and the unprecedented national emergency measures just don't need to apply to them for Reasons, the govt will end up having to ban exercise for anyone. At all. As has happened in European countries, except here it will be largely to stop people blundering around thinking their personal lives matter more than trying to help control the national disaster of their generation. It's everybody's responsibility to do this and to be seen to do this.

I swear, if we'd all been alive in WW2 and an air raid warden shouted 'put that light out!' they'd then get hours of justifying why they'd assessed their personal situation and no, bombers really wouldn't drop anything on them and they needed that light because x, and not to be silly about excessive rules.

For the pp who asked where you can buy flowers - you can buy flowers in a supermarket.

I will walk or cycle (as my exercise) to the Gardens of Remembrance on Saturday and lay flowers for my family members. I will practice social distancing and will also be wearing a N95 respirator mask and gloves.

Don't feel guilty. Your loved one would want you to protect yourselves and your community. They want you to keep safe. You can sort it out once this is all over, happy in the knowledge you did the right thing and that you are safe and well xxxx

I wouldn’t go personally.

We have a family funeral later this week. Florist is struggling to source flowers for the funeral.

Op, don't go. Seriously.

I'm going to be blunt:

Unless you and others that you love want to join your loved ones in the ground then I'd stay at home and protect people and the nhs

It's simple

I don’t think you should go.

But Christ on a bike people read the guidelines...! It doesn’t say anything about how long you can exercise for or where you can go. It just says once a day for exercise...!

It’s not essential. Pay your respects when it’s safe to do so.
What do you think that your lost relative would have said?