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Original poster

Is this acceptable during ‘lockdown’?

180 replies

GA2012 · 24/03/2020 14:50

I lost a close family member a little over a month ago. He is buried about 11 miles away in a quiet little church in the middle of nowhere. There’s never anyone there apart from services, weddings etc. I would like to visit his grave and put fresh flowers on.. I would visit at around 8-9am in the morning. I feel terrible that I haven’t managed to get up there for a couple weeks.

I’m aware we are told 15 minutes exercise a day.

Obviously we are isolating and not socialising with people but would it be acceptable to visit? It’s a 20 minute drive on rural roads . We’d literally just drive there, visit and come back. There’s never anyone there. It’s a church in the middle of nowhere with only a small hamlet up the road...

If we got there and there was people there we would come back another time..

OP posts:
cantkeepawayforever · 24/03/2020 16:20

I suspect that a large number of the people driving to walk in Snowdonia last weekend thought 'it's a remote area, there's never anyone much there, it'll be fine'...

nicky7654 · 24/03/2020 16:20

@GA2012 Just do it and don't ask on this site as your get conflicting answers. No different to me walking my dogs around the fields.

ivykaty44 · 24/03/2020 16:20

Have we had a time limit on exercise then?

No time limit on e exercise but please be sensible, and why would you drive to go for a walk or run?

Petrol stations in Spain are going to be closed- it will happen here unless people are sensible

WhatWouldYouDoWhatWouldJesusDo · 24/03/2020 16:22

Icecream in which case they'd lock up afterwards. I can see it from my window. It's open.

People need to use common sense, exercise is allowed. The entire families we have in the UK who live in one hotel room (( everyone seems to have forgotten about them)) will need to access the outside more than anyone. If they have to drive to do it then that's fine so long as they keep up social distance and follow the rules.

GinnyStrupac · 24/03/2020 16:22

I am sorry for your loss, OP. Being in a similar situation, I do understand. Unfortunately it would not be classed as essential travel or one of the four allowed exceptional activities. If it was in your immediate home area, then you could go as your daily exercise. It is the 22 mile round trip and in to another area that means you can't. Before both my parents died, one was adamant that we should not visit the grave, insisting they wanted us to get on with living and remember that their mortal remains were in the grave, not them. The other felt that although we should visit if it helped us, they preferred that we remembered them in nature and other happy memories - for example a Spring flower that would have given them joy. My advice would be to find ways at home or close to home to honour their memory - light a candle, have a vase of flowers in your window or a pot of bulbs, listen to a favorite song, frame a special photo - I'm sure you'll know what is right in your own situation. Flowers

larrygrylls · 24/03/2020 16:22

How can they close petrol stations? What about essential journeys?

FamilyOfAliens · 24/03/2020 16:22

You can keep chanting 'non-essential' but it doesn't alter the fact that the rules allow for people to go to an isolated place for 'exercise' (if the OP wants to use this time to pay respects there's no law against that either) and Gov spokespeople have said it is ok to drive to such a place.

So you can’t provide a link.

TeaMilkNoSugarThanks · 24/03/2020 16:24

Here's another thing - I live in the countryside, and you would not believe the number of middleaged men people out on bicycles for the first time in years, or folk wandering off for a walk down roads that I know, as a local, often have cars appearing round blind bends. Meanwhile because the traffic's thinned out, there are people driving around in their fricking sportscars as if they're doing the Isle of Man TT races.

This is the single worst time in living memory to have an accident, and yet people are still behaving as if it's just one long Bank Holiday for the next three weeks.

LittleRootie · 24/03/2020 16:27

So you can’t provide a link.

What link do you require? The rules allow it.

ifonly4 · 24/03/2020 16:28

DH wanted to go to is Mum's grave for mothers day/her birthday today. I said I didn't think it was essential, as much as he wanted to.

Also, I don't think it's fair to risk breaking down/having an accident (small chance I know) and expecting someone else to come out and help you if it wasn't an emergency, for work, shopping, to help vulnerable person.

He thought about it and have the flower pot sat on the table, where we can see it and think about her.

larrygrylls · 24/03/2020 16:29

'No time limit on e exercise but please be sensible, and why would you drive to go for a walk or run?'

Because far better to run in a deserted common than along roads with other people, for instance. Plenty of very sensible reasons.

GinnyStrupac · 24/03/2020 16:31

even when doing these four activities you should be minimising the time spent outside the home
This is from the full government guidance updated yesterday evening on gov.uk

JustMySize · 24/03/2020 16:34

It is not an essential journey.

Tomorrow is a significant birthday of one of my parents who have both passed away. Under normal circumstances I would be going to the grave, but I won't be going now.

If they were still here they would understand that you safety is more important.

cantkeepawayforever · 24/03/2020 16:36

There are 4 things you can leave the house for:
"Shop for essentials, as infrequently as possible

Exercise outdoors once per day, alone or with household members

Receive medical treatment or provide care

Travel to and from work, if it's impossible to work from home"

All of these should be, as a PP has said, while minimising the time outside the home (so not going 'the long way round' on the way back from the shops).

It has been made quite simple for us all. If it meets one of those 4 tests - we can do it. if it doesn't, we need to stay at home. There isn't a 'you can do other things if you think the risk is low' category - for a reason. Just stay at home.

I have said before on here - i am resigned to the fact that, should my parents fall ill, I cannot see them, and will not see them again. The church where they would be buried will be closed, so I would not be able to attend their funeral. I have accepted those guidelines.

GinnyStrupac · 24/03/2020 16:39

As we saw over the weekend, a lot of people unfortunately had the same idea of going to countryside and isolated areas, and this is why we are in lockdown now. Unless we heed the new rules, we won't be allowed out for exercise at all, the NHS will be swamped and more people will die, those with the virus and those without.

Stay at or near home, unless your journey is essential.

LemonTT · 24/03/2020 16:42

Fgs

Are we going to get endless posts from dimwits who can’t figure out that the direction is no Non essential travel. Everyone has a grave to visit so the collective response has to be No!

But the OP has already calculated she has no risk, isn’t putting anyone else at risk and won’t get caught. So she is doing it.

Basis of the post , to flaunt her ability to break the rules.

I am sick of the people who live in the middle of nowhere saying this doesn’t apply to them. Just shut up and have some solidarity with those in urban areas with fuck all space and an overstretched transport systems.

larrygrylls · 24/03/2020 16:45

'I am sick of the people who live in the middle of nowhere saying this doesn’t apply to them. Just shut up and have some solidarity with those in urban areas with fuck all space and an overstretched transport systems.'

I don't get this. The idea is to control infection, not to make a point of being virtuous. I live in London and so have to be careful. Someone who lives in the back of beyond and is unlikely to meet anyone can clearly spend time out to the home without posing a risk.

I get the benefits of London in the good times and need to suffer in the bad in return. I would be no happier if someone did not make use of the space in the countryside to exercise/visit grave etc safely.

GinnyStrupac · 24/03/2020 16:49

This is not about city versus town versus countryside dwellers.

This is about all of us. All citizens.

LillianGish · 24/03/2020 16:49

Is it essential? Is it for one of the four accepted reasons for leaving the house spelled out on TV last night and in newspapers today? This is one of the reasons why the French form - as silly as bureaucratic as it may seem is a good idea. Every time you leave the house you have to print out a new form, fill it in and choose which box to tick. It focuses your mind every time you go out and makes you think twice - is my trip really essential? The rules are not open to interpretation - otherwise everyone would have a pressing, urgent reason why they don't apply to them. Everyone needs to stick to them. we are all in this together.

Sendallthegin · 24/03/2020 16:49

Honestly this thread has been one of the most frustrating.

What are people not understanding about non essential?

“You must stay at home apart from essential travel.”

This is NOT essential! There are people all over the country separated from their living family members as they understand the severity of the situation we are in.

Every non-essential journey made by another person is an absolute insult to those making the sacrifice.

playthestation · 24/03/2020 16:50

A new 'hospital' is about to appear in London with 2 wards for 2000 people. They are bringing 35000 staff/helpers to the NHS.

Don't go fucking out Angry

Doggybiccys · 24/03/2020 16:52

@GA2012 - you are coming up with lots of excuses to do what you WANT to do not what you NEED to do. I will include the supermarket, I already have diesel, no-one will be there, no rush hour in the country - maybe not but the country is still rife for accidents. You are completely missing the point! Stay at home means stay at home unless ESSENTIAL ie a matter of life or death. Every non-essential journey puts everyone at increased risk.

@Bluffinwithmymuffin - you too are spectacularly missing the point. It's not about whose risk is more than others - its not a competition or a trade off. Just because you deem what OP is suggesting to be of a lower risk than you, doesn't make it acceptable. The whole point of these measures is to lower risk, stop the spike and prevent an influx of people needing ventilators at the same time. This is the only way to prevent deaths.

Whatever the rights and wrongs, it’s easy to see why people are unsure where they stand in some situations.
Its really not FFS. Do not leave the house unless essential i.e if you didn't leave there would be a direct threat to life through lack of food, water or medicines. Piggy backing a trip to the supermarket onto something non-essential that you want to do, but don't need to do, does not make it okay.
Am becoming increasinlgy depressed about this - if everyone thought like this we really would be fucked.

Chloemol · 24/03/2020 16:56

No it’s a lockdown and we have all been given clear instructions. Remember them at home and visit once lockdown is over

Thedogscollar · 24/03/2020 16:58

ultrablue I cannot imagine the pain you are in. I am so so sorry that you will not be with your Mum. Flowers

LittleRootie · 24/03/2020 17:00

Stay at home means stay at home unless ESSENTIAL ie a matter of life or death

That is not what the Government have stated. The rules, as I have just heard the Health Secretary state, allow you to leave your home for exercise or to go shopping (but go shopping as little as possible as this is a potential flashpoint for spreading the virus)