To be upset that DH has done nothing for Mother’s Day?

[YakkityYakYakYak]

DD is 9 months old so this is my first Mother’s Day. I know we all have bigger things to worry about at the moment but I can’t help feeling hurt that DH has made zero effort; he hasn’t even wished me happy mothers day.

I understand him not being able to get out to the shops and wouldn’t want him to go out especially. I don’t want extravagant gifts or anything but just hoped for any kind of gesture to show me I’m appreciated. There are loads of things you can do without leaving the house - order flowers to be delivered, make a card, breakfast in bed, etc.

This year, I’ve organised a card and flowers to be sent to DM but won’t be seeing her for obvious reasons. And last year at 40 weeks pregnant I managed to organise a card and gift for DH. It’s not impossible!

I’ve just told him that in lieu of a gift, he can clean the house and look after DD for the day, and I’ll be lying in the bath relaxing for the next few hours.

You have a lot of time for Mumsnet @limpbizkit aren't you busy on the grass verge with your beautiful children. Maybe you need to go back to NA if you're wasting your serenity trying to demoralise other women on the internet.

1pm and no mention of Mother's Day from my husband or card from my 5 week old yet. He knows I wanted a card and bunch of daffs for a couple of quid just to mark my first Mother's Day, especially as it's been an almost 7 year painful heartbreaking journey to get to this point (6 years of unexplained infertility followed by 2 losses before our rainbow was born). Maybe he'll surprise me later .............

YANBU OP - even a small gesture that doesn't cost much means a lot.

@Longtalljosie my son really did pick that daisy. I'm telling the truth. It's from him so I'm happy. Why would I want my DH to 'buy' or make something? I bought my own card because my son picked it. So. Not part of any 'brigade' thankyou very much. By your standards I should be stomping about all day being resentful of my DH. Yup that's be great for my kids my marriage and my day.

Everyone in my house has forgotten Mother's Day. I did too for the first few hours. I care not one jot. I love them; they love me. That is more than enough.

@jason just at my mums actually. She's entertaining my kids whilst I chill. So yup I'm not hopping about on grass verge you numpty!

@BertiesLanding nice and down to earth. I like it enjoy your day

I’m being ignored too

@Dishwashersaurous I don’t think it’s odd. I’m pregnant and my H has made a fuss of me today. It’s just a sweet gesture.

And OP, it’s ok to be sad that he hasn’t given you any thought in this difficult time. Especially on your first Mother’s Day.

Some people on here seem to be competitive about how much they don’t care about Mother’s Day or their baby’s first birthday... but I think those are lovely and special occasions and I’d be a bit sad if my partner didn’t think to mark it for me or we didn’t do something for it. Especially as there isn’t an awful lot to look forward to at the moment.

Why should he get you a mother's Day card?

Because he loves her? she's his wife?, because her kid isn't old enough to do it but he wants her to feel loved and gasp appreciated?

Geez. I bet your valentines cards are fun: "I dont love you- its just a chemical reaction in my brain- best regards"

YANBU. Dh could have made a card. A folded bit of paper would have done.

You too, @limpbizkit

Oh thats just reminded me I haven't even given my mum her card yet whilst I'm sitting here! Funnily enough she's not passively aggressively slammed any doors yet

You are not being unreasonable, it's basic kindness and thoughtfulness. Those saying lower your expectations, raise the bar rather than telling others to limbo under it. Ps those who say it's strange to but on behalf of your children, do you not get cards for Father's bdays when they are younger ? Thoughtfulness does not equal money

It's my first mother's day too. I didn't get anything either. OH just doesn't think like that but he apologised when he saw the pictures of other mums with their cards.
Oh well! He's brilliant in about a million other ways.
Wait a few years and you'll get some direct from the LO.

You are YANBU, my DH is an NHS worker. He's been super stressed and worried this week yet he got me a lovely candle, flowers, a card and is cooking me dinner tonight.

I didn't get much either op. I've told DH if that's how he wants to 'do' fathers and mothers day that's fine, I wont make a fuss on Father's Day. Last year he got gifts from the children and the pets, breakfast in bed and a lie in, this year I made breakfast for everyone, got up at the crack of dawn and generally it's been a normal day.
He's blamed not getting me anything on corona virus. He doesn't have it btw.

He managed to get out to the shop last night for his beer though

Dp got me nothing for my first one and only acknowledged it when I reminded him so that he could text his own mum. I'm not too bothered, I'm not his mum! When babe is old enough we can start the gestures.

@limpbizkit not social distancing then?

Bigger things to worry about. I told mine not to bother. Supply chains are struggling enough without having to deliver a heap of tat today.

I wont make a fuss on Father's Day

Yes- absolutely dont. Then if he moans you can reference today- "thats weird- I thought we weren't "doing" mother and fathers day?- surely you dont want me to make a fuss if you didnt on mothers day?"

Yanbu. Even when ours were babies, my husband always made a huge fuss on Mother’s Day. This is what you do to show love and appreciation.

i don't care about an expensive gift to me it really is the thought that counts. i think for about the last 4-6 'occasions' e.g m-day, v-day, xmas, b-day etc my DH has totally failed to give it any thought before hand whatsoever and has then panicked on the day and just spunked a load of money on e.g a spa gift voucher. nice gift but ffs.. even xmas ?! i know he's busy but it's not like he doesn't find time to go to the pub, sit on FB

It doesn't take a lot to make a kind gesture does it, it's pretty poor.

Did he just forget or not bother?

I got a £3.50 bunch of flowers left the price on. No card or anything. I am actually a bit hurt to be honest. I've been working from home full time for the past few weeks with the kids at home now and could just do with a little gesture.

If I managed to get my own mother and grandmother something nice for
Mother's Day then how can my husband not do that for me? I totally understand where you are coming from

@Winterwoollies I'm a healthcare professional so no not social distancing. Also my mums 57 so erm yes I can visit. Does that clear it up for you?