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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To think the holiday home is my only option?

208 replies

Witsendagain · 21/03/2020 23:08

I live in a different country. I was over here visiting family from the start of March and several cancelled flights/worldwide pandemic later me, my dh and ds(2) can't get home.
My parents are very high risk and don't have enough space for us. On paper my in-laws have enough space on paper but in practice this isn't the case (currently squished in a room filled with storage boxes while dh sleeps on the floor).
No other family can accommodate us BUT my gran has a mostly unused holiday cottage in a tourist hot-spot that she has offered us for the duration and I've accepted. It is literally around the corner from where we were living before we moved abroad 2years ago.
I am now being made to feel guilty by various people because me and my family are 'part of the problem', 'running to our holiday homes and swamping these places', 'overwhelming the medical services' etc.
I'm doubting myself, we can't stay where we are for months, we can't get home, and we are not choosing to be here. We are having to pay astronomical rent and pet care costs in the country we are living in and can't afford to rent somewhere so I really cannot see that we have another option.
Wibu to carry on with our plans despite the naysayers?

OP posts:
Aesopfable · 22/03/2020 08:18

Didn’t all those insisting she stay in a cramped spare room with her parents not read that her parents are very high risk. She is currently putting vulnerable people at risk. Of course she can’t stay.

JudyCoolibar · 22/03/2020 08:19

Repeated posts advising 'stock up for 14 days before you go' when there's no food anywhere.

Not true. It's purely a supply issue If you visit a large supermarket as it opens plus shops like independent grocers, it's perfectly possible to stock up.

Inituntiltheend · 22/03/2020 08:19

Go and self isolate when you get there !

IWantT0BreakFree · 22/03/2020 08:22

It's not rude or mean to treat the situation with the seriousness it demands. I'm sorry that some people are going to be inconvenienced. We all are, some of us much more than others. But it's staggering that even in the face of a global crisis like this, people are still concerned largely with making sure they are happy and content, no matter the cost to others. I have never known such selfishness.

And again, guaranteeing that you're not taking the virus with you (not that you can do that anyway) does NOT remove all of the risk posed by travelling around the country and settling elsewhere. If you increase the population of a local area, you contribute to the worsening of the spread of the virus when it does get there.

EricaNernie · 22/03/2020 08:22

i dont understand the anti second homers?
if people stock up before they go, as much as they can, self isolate for as much as possible, what is the harm?
you want to deny people medical care?
how cruel

Tootletum · 22/03/2020 08:25

Probably not a good idea to ask this forum as they'll all tell you everyone except th is stupid and unreasonable. Fwiw I think your situation is a bit different, you're not running away to a holiday home, you're trying to find somewhere to live , so no, yanbu.

diddl · 22/03/2020 08:27

Whereabouts have you been & who have you seen recently, OP?

Is there a realistic chance of you taking it with you?

I would say go & isolate yourselves.

DoubleAction · 22/03/2020 08:28

I suppose it's a complex situation but isn't it a bit much for the locals to live off holiday makers as a general rule but not want to share their medical facilities?

In this case though, OP is a local! She hails from the area in which she plans to stay.

MsJaneAusten · 22/03/2020 08:32

i dont understand the anti second homers?
if people stock up before they go, as much as they can, self isolate for as much as possible, what is the harm?
you want to deny people medical care?
how cruel

Quite the contrary, the residents of tourist areas like the Lakes, Cumbria, the Highlands, etc want to ensure that the very limited amount of medical care in their areas (eg far, far fewer ICU beds than cities) are still available for those who don’t have any where else to go, not for those who’ve left better resourced areas because the sun is shining. We want to ensure medical care is available, not deny it.

Have you seen the videos of Bowness yesterday? This isn’t second home owners coming up and isolating, this is tourism.

CarolineIngalls · 22/03/2020 08:35

Second home owners can fuck right off.

Icu beds are allocated in hospitals based on permanent residents. If that was a first home we'd have enough beds for you to stay.

lonelylou09 · 22/03/2020 08:36

I live in a holiday hot spot and work in my village shop.
Personally what we as a community have a problem with is people coming from high risk areas, with no idea if they are bringing and spreading covid 19, coming to our little village where we are struggling to take care of our own and swanning around like its summer holidays. Visiting everything, having huge bbqs on the beach. In and out of all the places that are still open.
If people where coming down with a genuine need and self isolating that would be fine. But I had to stop myself several times yesterday at work to not swear at people who are clearly too stupid to even spend 5 minutes watching the news and what is going on before packing for the holiday of their lives.
It's just out luck that after months of continuous rain this weekend it's sunny here.
I'd say get your supplies ready and go there if you must. But do take notice of the advice the government is giving and stay in!

lonelylou09 · 22/03/2020 08:38

Also.. As the whole of Pembrokeshire has only 3 icu beds and an already struggling hospital I don't know where all these extra people think they are going to be treated if they get ill.

TheMotherofAllDilemmas · 22/03/2020 08:40

I can’t see why in the “room full of boxes”, the boxes take priority over the people. There is no real need to go to the caravan.

LimpidPools · 22/03/2020 08:42

What medical facilities DoubleAction? That's the problem. There's nothing to share.
The locals really don't owe the tourists anything.

That aside, the OP is in an exceptional situation. Assuming they strictly self-quarantine on arrival, I think going to the holiday home is the best option here. They aren't looking to holiday or to escape a high density area, they really just need somewhere to live, like the other people living there do.

maslinpan · 22/03/2020 08:42

This entire thread proves yet again that we need lockdown right now. I am so depressed to hear about crowds of people at NT places, and people just behaving like tourists. Do they all think that social distancing doesn't apply if they want to enjoy the sunshine?

CarolineIngalls · 22/03/2020 08:42

For the sake of clarity, we'd prefer not to have to live off tourism and we certainly don't prefer it at the expense of our lives.

Go to the place where you are counted.

Livelovebehappy · 22/03/2020 08:43

The holiday home situation is people decamping from the cities but then instead of self isolating, are wondering around the streets treating it as a ‘holiday’ which is disrespectful and dangerous to the communities they are living in.

DoubleAction · 22/03/2020 08:43

I agree tourists should stay away Limpid, but OP is not a tourist. Nowhere has enough beds.

TheWordmeister · 22/03/2020 08:43

Repeated posts advising 'stock up for 14 days before you go' when there's no food anywhere.

Simply not true.

diddl · 22/03/2020 08:44

Where were you staying before you got stuck & had to stay with ILs & their boxes?

tara66 · 22/03/2020 08:44

Yes dear residents (or do I mean y k ls?) of Cornwall, Wales and ''Outer Scotland'' - outside the M25 is another country. My son who is adult and fairly ''international'' refuses to go beyond it because of ''attitudes'' there.

Aesopfable · 22/03/2020 08:45

IWantToBreakFree you mean selfish like those who would much rather a young family had to sleep on the floor putting very high risk parents at further risk because they don’t want to reduce their own access to resources?

WhereverIMayRoam · 22/03/2020 08:46

The issue in other countries was people going to holiday homes in their droves and while there socialising as though they were actually on holiday. That’s what caused the virus to spread, it wasn’t simply the presence of a few people who don’t actually live there bringing the virus with them as some posters seem to think. Ffs you’d think she was about to go live with an undiscovered tribe in the Brazilian rainforest Hmm.

OP go to your grans place, it would be silly not to.

lilgreen · 22/03/2020 08:54

Yanbu

FrankieManca · 22/03/2020 08:56

It's not about not giving anyone the virus, it's about contracting it while there! And there being rural overstretched resources trying to deal with it

Is IS about spreading it!

The urban hospitals are as under pressure as any others now, partly BECAUSE they act as the ICU for the surrounding counties!

The OP is a visitor wherever she goes!

I am against people trying to avoid infection by fleeing to their second homes, but in your circumstances, OP, I would go and be incredibly strict over quarantining your dry.