to be upset that my husband didnt care about mothers day ?

[LidiaM]

I am so dissapointed and sad because its mothers day tomorrow and I wont be getting anything, our daughter is 3 years old , she cant buy stuff herself, I dont even want anything materially , just a card and a hug ! I always pay atention and do my best for fathers day and his birthdays and he knows how important it is for me yet he ALWAYS forgets and this time he has a reason ! ladies and gentlemen - he forgot because of the CORONAVIRUS , YEA..
he had time, its not a big effort to go shops for a little chocolate once a year !.
I am just sad because I dont understand, he knew how importand it is for me, he is responsible for mothers days untill our girl understand herself yet he always fail with those things .I am fed up with it, It showes me that he kind of doesnt care about my feelings.

Mother's Day is not a priority for me right now. My husband is in the risk category and I've let him know I do not want him going out to buy me stuff from the children...they can make me a card if they want to! I've been so preoccupied with everything that I have even forgotten to send my own mum a card but I know she will understand.

Does he appreciate cardds/gifts for Father's Day?

If so, before your DD is old enough to realise and be upset by it, don't do anything for him this year, if he does 'forget'.

If he gets upset by it, shrug your shoulders and say, thought that's the way you wanted it to work in our family. Point out that no, you're not going to teach your DD that when someone a bloke doesn't give a shit about making things special for you, you damn well don't lie down and say walk all over me by making things special for them.

Maybe that will sink in.

If he doesn't care, then ok - that's the way it's going to be. Decide that you're going to put in exactly as much effort as YOU want to in future, not the effort he'd like you to. Only do Father's Day as it affects your DD, and teach her you treat others how you're treated.

First world problems... It's not even Mother's Day yet!!

Surely a 3 year old can manage a card and a hug? If that's all you want, not really sure what DH needs to do?

(I've told my children on no account are they to dream of going out and buying me anything this year - so you are definitely BU if you expect that).

My DH will do nowt but i knew he was like this when I agreed to marry him. I've mad my bed. DS produced a chocolate treat made "specially just for you mummy" from preschool, then asked to share it - he is a boy coined in his father's image.

I'm hoping for a golden couple of years when the kids are maybe junior school age & they take the initiative to make their own simple cards, and the real peak - may be some years when they are old enough to bring me a cup of tea in bed on mother's day. Here's hoping.

Yes it's Mother's day not wives day but if your children are young then it's not unreasonable to expect your partner do something for you. I think it's nice to have a distraction from the virus.

Are you his mother?

Normally I would say YANBU, but with all the uncertainty around Corona normal life is off. Ask him to make a card with your dc tomorrow.

I couldn't give a toss about mother's Day but there is stuff I would be pissed off at forgetting and DH also. So you make an effort to do the things that matter to them.

Saying fuckit Corona seems a bit off. He's only got to get the 3yo to scribble on a bit of paper and say I love you while handing it over hardly an epic task.

Mothering Sunday is nothing to do with being a Mother, thats something we caught from America. The "Mother" in quesyion is actually the Church.

Fuck that!

No one had covid19 last year when he couldn’t be bothered!

Why don’t you stop doing stuff for him? I bloody wouldn’t!

It takes nothing to supervise a card and buy some Maltesers, honestly!!

Mehhh could be worse my dp asked my boys to give him an idea what to get they both said I don’t want to get mum anything. Don’t know what I’ve done wrong but I told him to make sure he doesn’t get me anything then. Ones secondary age!!! I will apologise to his dp about his attitude when he’s older and remind him to get presents if he has children

My DH doesn.t do much. For me or his mum, it,s all too comercial. spend time with your DD.

Coronavirus is turning people into such wankers. Of course this is a difficult time and there are worse things BUT op has a husband that doesn’t value her as a mother enough to remember to get her a card. This doesn’t change because some nurse worked a 15hour shift. I’m sure op would rather a healthy child than a freaking Mother’s Day card.

Sorry op your partner is a dick.

I agree with you, op. My boys are teens and haven’t caught on that their mum would like to partake in this annual show of commercialism. Dh did say ‘what’s happening for Mother’s Day?’. I have actually said in the past that if they can’t be bothered to the day before, then don’t bother.

I did rant earlier that it’s not difficult to order flowers online nowadays.

(I know you don’t give to receive etc).

You know what to do (or not do) come June then don't you?

🙄 really? I’m guessing the cv hasn’t had any impact on your family......yet

One thing I hope that comes out of our current crisis is that we stop worrying so much about mundane trivialities like this.

Totally agree - sadly I doubt things will change.

OP get a grip!

Buy yourself something nice from a struggling small shop. If your dh always forgets, reduce the effort you make for his events and treat yourself instead, as long as the underlying relationship is sound.

My dd remembered all by herself when she was 6 as she did it at school - that was amazing. Hold on, it’ll get better as they get older.

My DH set the precedent on Mother’s Day when mine were little. He said I wasn’t his mother, which is true. So on Father’s Day I did the same. He’s not my dad.
Their hugs and kisses meant more anyway. And their I love you mummy.
When they were older they obviously went out and bought me something themselves. That meant something also, they’d gone out and picked it for me.
I get that you’re upset but surely there are more important things in life.

That’s shit OP, don’t bother for Father’s Day

DH asked me last week what I wanted. I said don't worry, a card is fine, and a bunch of daffs if you can get some.

I can't get worked up about it - it's only a day although I do understand why it matters to you, so as it is upsetting you, talk to him, and calmly explain to him why it is an important day for you.

Stop bothering for him. I ended doing that one year, and he never 'forgot' again.

YABU. Going to a card shop and risking infection just to brighten your sodding mother's day. Get a grip. Bigger things going on.