Over 200 toilet rolls in my yoga lounge

[LonelyAngel]

I know we mustn't panic buy, but my two children, Jocasta and Oliver, simply must come first. I couldn't bear to think of them struggling in the weeks and months ahead without toilet roll, so yes, we did stock up. Plenty of dried pasta too, but the artisan variety, not supermarket stodge. Oliver wants to make a play fort out of the rolls, and Jocasta is thinking about turning them into a portrait of Greta Thunberg, but I have explained the importance of them and they have been very mature about it. The thing is, my friend who is a single mum (she lives on the local council estate but is actually quite intelligent) has told me she cannot get a single loo roll for her 3 kids (all under 5). I feel for her but I don't want to share, because Jocasta and Oliver simply must come first. Am I being unreasonable?

Eckhart you should also make this actual face:

Do report back

You should have made your own pasta and loo roll lol

I think YABU actually, it shouldn't all be about your kids, after all you have needs too and it should be the maid who is concerned with their welfare.
I hoped you stocked up with a few crates of chardonnay as well as Gin.

I think it’s funny , from the title I thought it was a post about Meghan and Harry!

I hope it's organic bog roll, I shall be reporting you to SS if not

Poor kids

If it's that hilarious then why don't you regale everyone with it at the school gates in a bit. 'Aren't I a veritable hoot, I'm boarding toilet tissue and the stereotypically named offspring want to make forts from the endless rolls we have tee hee hee, mind you there is a young single mother pal of mine on council estate really struggling with her three under three but fuck it ha ha ha!' I'm sure it will be high 5s and spluttering laughter all round.

Hoarding* even not boarding (oh dear another middle class indicator slipped in)

Toilet? lounge?

No no no no

Whenever I read a thread on MN where people are guffawing and inevitably accusing any posters not guffawing along with them of being humorless pricks, I remember that Mrs Brown's Boys exists and ran to more than one series.

That, even more than 'snapped and farted' which apparently led dozens of MNers to lie on the floor weeping with hysterical laughter for days, reminds me that we all laugh at very different things. Which is as it should be, I guess.

@Notredamn why don't you regale everyone with it at the school gates Because of social distancing.

Terrible advice in the current climate. Terrible.

@Notredamn why don't you regale everyone with it at the school gates Because of social distancing

Perhaps OP could sit in her range rover on the hazard lines immediately outside the school and wind the window down slightly before speaking

Jocasta, we have bidets or washlets in all the ensuites, don't you?

Via a loudspeaker of course Eckhart

I prefer Joyce's suggestion though

An attempt was made at satire. We can all see this.
It's funnier the amount of people claiming to find this funny and 'get it' to make themselves feel all high brow 😂

Hmmm. Doubtful. (Two of your posts have been removed, I note.)

I noted it too. That will be the swearing. Oh well.

You swear? Ah.

But Mumsnet condones that so the removal was due to something else..

I'm sure other posters saw it I'm not lying 😂

Word of advice. Don’t give up your day job and take up comedy writing.

Mother of Jacinta and Oliver would not use the word ‘toilet’

WTF is a yoga lounge, do you mean studio?

New money middle class then. Lounge is very lower middle. Sitting room please!

Living room for me but never lounge.

I got the original was a joke but am I being gullible thinking some people actually believed it?
To be honest it reminded me of Catherine Tate and the Posh Parents sketch

OP I think your post is hilarious. Made me smile so thank you.