Over 200 toilet rolls in my yoga lounge

[LonelyAngel]

I know we mustn't panic buy, but my two children, Jocasta and Oliver, simply must come first. I couldn't bear to think of them struggling in the weeks and months ahead without toilet roll, so yes, we did stock up. Plenty of dried pasta too, but the artisan variety, not supermarket stodge. Oliver wants to make a play fort out of the rolls, and Jocasta is thinking about turning them into a portrait of Greta Thunberg, but I have explained the importance of them and they have been very mature about it. The thing is, my friend who is a single mum (she lives on the local council estate but is actually quite intelligent) has told me she cannot get a single loo roll for her 3 kids (all under 5). I feel for her but I don't want to share, because Jocasta and Oliver simply must come first. Am I being unreasonable?

God we have to laugh at the ridiculousness off toilet roll hoarding in the middle of all this madness, otherwise we’d cry.

And of course it’s acceptable to mock the priviliged. Otherwise there’d be no humour. OP was in character when she was commenting on her council estate friend.

And when mumsnet loses its sense of humour, civilisation is over.

You don't have family cloth ?

Well really. 😳😳😳

Cacaca You regard names as chavvy? What - all of them?

shut up please

Quarantine is such an ugly word

I prefer temporary withdrawal from arranged things. TWAT for short

Fine fine work there

I take her humour as taking the piss out of the White Middle Class.

How on earth did you get the skin colour of OP's subject from her posts?

so why is is acceptable to mock someone perceived to be better off than you? It’s really not is it?

In principle, I think it's 'acceptable' to mock pretty much anything. OP is not mocking an individual. I am agog at the numbers on here who feel the need to police other's humour.

I think, if you are nice, you don’t mock those worse off than you. That’s why I personally don’t like the likes of Jimmy Carr and his ilk.

WTF is family cloth mentioned upthread? Is it a communal dishcloth repurposed for arse wiping?

I am thinking of getting a bum gun installed.

Well, I love little Oliver’s fort and it’s so nice that he’s letting Jocasta share.

Someone mentioned a bidet & I instantly thought anyone with a bidet will be gleefully rubbing their hands. Then I thought how does that actually work. Having never used a bidet I presume you still need to dry your arse. Does water alone remove residue shit? That would be a lot of boil washes. Wonder if they will come back into fashion now.

Proseccoinaflute

I often wonder this, have only used one as a child for my doll to swim in 🤣

I now realise why my mum hated visiting my aunts house with me in tow haha

Wasn't Jocasta the mum of Oedipus?

I enjoyed this thread.

@donquixotedelamancha

I take her humour as taking the piss out of the White Middle Class

How on earth did you get the skin colour of OP's subject from her posts?

Exactly. Racism alive and well.

Shitty OP, if true - ridiculous if made up not funny.

Well I laughed 🤭, probably the most interesting thread I’ve read on here all week.

Well, I love little Oliver’s fort and it’s so nice that he’s letting Jocasta share.

That's Oliver in the picture. OP is very fashionable.

Having never used a bidet I presume you still need to dry your arse. Does water alone remove residue shit? That would be a lot of boil washes.

Well I have used one, just to see what it was like, after having a pee. My aim must have been off because I ended up with thrush. I was in Italy, couldn’t speak Italian and the wonderful woman in the chemist couldn’t speak English. My husband stood outside the shop laughing till the tears ran down his leg, as I tried to mime what was wrong.

You remmber Howard Huges he used the lay toilet paper over his floors to walk on, he never touched or associated with anyone.

Has everyone had an irony / sense of humour bypass?!

your yoga studio a lounge

To be scrupulous fair, she is not referring to her actual sitting room. Lounge may be ok. 😆

God help us when spitting image returns if a bit of mild satire on MN gets taken the wrong way! Geez

OP clearly yabu for not putting "lighthearted" in the title

OP time to get the sewing machine out and teach Jocasta and Oliver to make re useable wipes from old towels. Toilet paper is wrapped in single use plastic don't you know!

I am gobsmacked at how selfish people are. If you can't even spare a toilet roll for a friend let alone a stranger. I have been to 4 shops this morning and genuinely have 1 toilet roll left and couldn't get any because of people like yourself

I think the OP - post - is funny. Am I very wrong?

I was struggling to breathe before reading the replies. The disgusted people are by far the funniest!