Over 200 toilet rolls in my yoga lounge

[LonelyAngel]

I know we mustn't panic buy, but my two children, Jocasta and Oliver, simply must come first. I couldn't bear to think of them struggling in the weeks and months ahead without toilet roll, so yes, we did stock up. Plenty of dried pasta too, but the artisan variety, not supermarket stodge. Oliver wants to make a play fort out of the rolls, and Jocasta is thinking about turning them into a portrait of Greta Thunberg, but I have explained the importance of them and they have been very mature about it. The thing is, my friend who is a single mum (she lives on the local council estate but is actually quite intelligent) has told me she cannot get a single loo roll for her 3 kids (all under 5). I feel for her but I don't want to share, because Jocasta and Oliver simply must come first. Am I being unreasonable?

People's buying habits do vary. When I had small children and worked full time I never went into a supermarket if I could help it and it was ordered once a week on line. Brilliant. Now the youngest are at school I tend to pop out most days when I take out post.

My father, a doctor, when he set up his first private practice (although he was full time NHS all his life) he was able to get a cash and carry card in the 1970s. I remember it well. It was really exciting as he could buy goods in bulk in a way not offered to ordinary consumers. He then bought huge quantities eg of toilet roll and stored them in our attic at once and then they were there for the next 6 months. My mother would buy a whole deer at a farm and then stock up not just one but she had 2 full freezers.

The reason they did that was money was very very tight in the 1970s so even saving a tiny amount per loo roll by buying a lot of it was worth it. The way internet etc shopping works now is probably slightly different and I am lucky enough not to need to look at most prices these days for food etc. although I have etched into my psyche how to make do and mend and even how to go outside and gather what I might eat to a certain extent.

You are on a roll here.....

Boom Tish!

I think I love you.

Although I am in isolation so I am easily pleased.

There's none of that rough toilet paper nonsense in this house. A leisurely wash in the bidet before patting dry with 100% cotton towelettes

Goodness, a bidet, how quaint.

We had our bidet removed a few years ago and replaced our loo with one of the Japanese jobbies that does a full wash and blow dry. So much more hygienic, and better for the environment than towelettes.

*loo roll. Never toilet.

Also, yoga studio.

"Jobbie" lol!

OP made me laugh as well as all of the outraged replies!

"Let's not mate this a class issue"

Really? My supermarkets sold out of dishwasher rinse aid 🙄🙄🙄

Totally agree OP! I’m sending you my spare loo rolls right now for the poor little mites distressed derrieres!

I get you are trying to be funny but all this does is breed resentment

I can't believe how nasty this site has become, the more the Corona situation has deteriorated.

Don’t find this offensive but nor is it funny.

2/10 must try harder.

I’m glad I recognise satire when I come across. Do the detractors not enjoy HIGNFY?

An attempt was made at satire. We can all see this.
It's funnier the amount of people claiming to find this funny and 'get it' to make themselves feel all high brow 😂

I think we all understood it was supposed to be a joke, it just really wasn’t very funny. I was thinking more along the lines that it was poorly written, rather than offensive - OP obviously going for something like cutted up pear, hoping to get into classics, and failing.

@Notredamn not as funny as those falling over themselves to find something offensive though.

YANBU OP. Either your friend is not that intelligent because she didnt buy loo roll, or if she is as clever as you say, she will find a way. You would be very unreasonable to give away your rolls as Jocasta and Oliver need them to express their creativity.

On a side note, I think Mumsnet need a Bitchplopper's Corner where posters who struggle to understand that others have different ways of coping and different senses of humour to them can go and moan to eachother. Instead of Tone Policing other threads.

You didn't tell us how many more rolls are in the boot of one of your two enormous SUVs?

@StillDisappointed it's not a case of looking. It's just shit and cringeworthy.

It's not offensive but neither is it funny. We a know there's a shortage of some things, and that some people are stockpiling. What's the joke?

"toilet" ? "lounge"?

what next, will you start calling your sofa a "settee"?

Get your class signifiers straight hun!

I cant believe you don't have a japanese toilet that washes and dries your bum for you yet.

The rest of us are buying copies of the DailyFail & the Scum to use because you have bought all the toilet rolls.

I think Mumsnet need a Bitchplopper's Corner where posters who struggle to understand that others have different ways of coping and different senses of humour to them can go and moan to eachother.

We have a sub-board for that. It's called Netmums.

^Boom Tish! grin

I think I love you.

Although I am in isolation so I am easily pleased^

Ha! Glad it made you laugh. Blimey, there are some joyless punters on here...

Do the people who are saying this isn't funny do that in real life? I just tend to not laugh, but I'm considering starting to say flatly 'That's not funny.' when people make jokes, just to see how they respond to such socially inept behaviour.

2/10 must try harder.
^This