Over 200 toilet rolls in my yoga lounge

[LonelyAngel]

I know we mustn't panic buy, but my two children, Jocasta and Oliver, simply must come first. I couldn't bear to think of them struggling in the weeks and months ahead without toilet roll, so yes, we did stock up. Plenty of dried pasta too, but the artisan variety, not supermarket stodge. Oliver wants to make a play fort out of the rolls, and Jocasta is thinking about turning them into a portrait of Greta Thunberg, but I have explained the importance of them and they have been very mature about it. The thing is, my friend who is a single mum (she lives on the local council estate but is actually quite intelligent) has told me she cannot get a single loo roll for her 3 kids (all under 5). I feel for her but I don't want to share, because Jocasta and Oliver simply must come first. Am I being unreasonable?

I think some of you need to Google satire.

@Cacaca I’m not saying it’s very ‘nice’. But I think there is a massive difference between mocking someone you perceive to be better off than you (in any sense) and mocking someone you perceive to be worse of than you. The former just implies a slight amount of jealously/bemusement, the latter leaves a really nasty taste in my mouth.

@LonelyAngel

Thank you very much for that reasoned contribution. Now I have a little boy in tears asking me what "fuck off" and "shit" means.

No, you really haven't.

"Imagine the names were changed to names that are regarded chavvy ". OK, let's talk about snobbery - what children's names do YOU regard as chavvy? I do hope you don't work with children.

Now I have a little boy in tears asking me what "fuck off" and "shit" means.

Has he got a MN account too?

Lonely well what are your council estate mate's children's names? You're the one trolling, after all. Or did she name them something you deem acceptable as 'she's actually quite intelligent'?

We should all change to bidets!

Pathetic. Go away.

I can't believe that you call your yoga studio a lounge and refer to bog roll as toilet paper.

Top tip: get your little darlings making lavatory handkerchiefs and improve hand eye coordination at the same time. If you don’t have any fabric to hand have a look at mummy’s summer ‘19 wardrobe. Hours of entertainment.

@LonelyAngel No I don’t work with children - and personally I regard names as chavvy but I’m not stupid enough to know what people do. Christ you only need to read some of the threads on the names board to realise this is the case.

Ha ha. The faux outrage and virtual signalling in the replies is funnier than the opening post

Yes. Although the opening post made me laugh too. Lots of people not laughing here at jokes the OP hasn't made, and subsequently getting themselves into a defensive twist.

There is a special place in Hell reserved for greedy CFs who hoard 200 Toilet Rolls. If this is a 'joke', it isn't funny. People are dying. People are going without basics through other people's greed. This is NOT something to laugh about.

If it IS true, then at least share some of your Toilet Rolls with someone who really needs them.

I think this is one of those threads where the first person playing it negative was contagious and everyone else followed suit

This, absolutely

FYI, despite my name I do not have a yoga ‘lounge’. I have a ‘space’.

I suspect your light hearted post is too close for comfort for some on here.

@Jaxhog your post is funny too but the funniest bit is your capitalisation of 'Toilet Roll'! You'll be putting a crown on it next and bowing to it.

surely, op, you should get yourself a cashmere goat to produce your own organic bog roll from? one must consider the environment and I am appalled by your wanton disregard for it.

I can't believe 40% think yabu. What's the matter with 'em.

Some people on here are just ridiculous and it's not the op.

surely, op, you should get yourself a cashmere goat to produce your own organic bog roll from? one must consider the environment and I am appalled by your wanton disregard for it.

OP would be wise not to. Firstly, goats are bastards and will eat all of her preached pear trees, and besides, cashmere can bobble with vigorous use, and you want to avoid unfortunate bobbling in the area of use of loo roll.

Cotton might be better, I’ll be sharing a link for sustainably sources seeds shortly.

OP this is funny, made me laugh this morning! Ignore the debbie downers.... we are in the midst of a shitstorm right now and we need more humour and laughs to get through it

How does your little boy know the words fuck and shit were used? Is he reading this thread? Did you read out the posts to him? Why is he crying over a word he doesn't know is a bad word? So many questions.

I get you're trying to be funny, and I'm not offended by it, it's just....not really very funny is it?

This. I can see what the OP was aiming for and it might have had the potential for (darkish, satirical) humour but it's not quite clever or subtle enough.

I had a little chuckle at the OP’s introductory post, but the outraged answers are hilarious. Is the removal of humour an indication of COVID19?