Over 200 toilet rolls in my yoga lounge

[LonelyAngel]

I know we mustn't panic buy, but my two children, Jocasta and Oliver, simply must come first. I couldn't bear to think of them struggling in the weeks and months ahead without toilet roll, so yes, we did stock up. Plenty of dried pasta too, but the artisan variety, not supermarket stodge. Oliver wants to make a play fort out of the rolls, and Jocasta is thinking about turning them into a portrait of Greta Thunberg, but I have explained the importance of them and they have been very mature about it. The thing is, my friend who is a single mum (she lives on the local council estate but is actually quite intelligent) has told me she cannot get a single loo roll for her 3 kids (all under 5). I feel for her but I don't want to share, because Jocasta and Oliver simply must come first. Am I being unreasonable?

Wonderful - have you suggested children use them for something more permanent like paper mache in the bath? You could also consider their use in future insta posts? As in children balancing on rolls, husband lounging, maybe even a dog bed for that cockapoohshnitz of yours?

Christ that was tedious.

Pretty obvious with the stupid name and everything else in their post.

Holy cow does nobody have a sense of humour anymore?
Life is too short, lighten up ffs.

This joke has been done to death, and I do think this particular iteration misses the mark on implying that the Jocasta types are the ones hoarding all the loo roll, but how are so many posters missing that this is OBVIOUSLY (poorly executed) satire? I mean, troubled times and all that, but this is like taking offence at a Knock Knock joke!

I agree with your family and friends. You have no sense of humour

Holy cow does nobody have a sense of humour anymore? Life is too short, lighten up ffs

Some of the responses to this thread are quite startling...

It was your friend on the council estate done it . Tongue in cheek or not you are a GF OP .

I live on a council estate and am , shock horror, intelligent , as are my friends tyvm

I cannot sleep properly and take medication for anxiety.

This is the first time I have laughed in ages.

Thank you, OP

I get this was a joke but I just found it tedious

I live on a council estate and am , shock horror, intelligent , as are my friends tyvm

She is taking the piss out of people who disrespect people based in their incomes and living situations. The fact that you live in a council estate and are intelligent is part of the point not the joke.

It's satire. She's trying to lighten what has been a suffocating mood.

If your intent on being doom and gloom then go to the CV threads. There's plenty of room over there.

I take this as a welcome break from the fact that I'm haemorrhaging money as we speak and, unless the Great Supine Protoplasmic Invertebrate Jellies in Number 10 come up with something fantastic today, I may be homeless soon.

So yes, I will laugh at the idea of a small, middle-class child named Jocosta making portraits of Greta Thunberg out of toilet paper.

I’d hate to be you. I’d even hate to know you. It’s sad and pathetic. I have a friend with a very poorly little boy, oxygen dependant who was struggling to buy nappies and toilet roll. I fail to see any amusing side to this at all.

No one's explained why taking the piss out of poor people going without so that rich twats can build dens out of loo roll, is funny.

Watch out OP, you might end up like this mum, who's DC threw all her stockpiled toilet roll in the bath.

I'd be making my non existent DC wipe their arses on leaves if they did that.

@BarbaraofSeville

That's like burning the family heirloom. NOOOOOO.

No one's explained why taking the piss out of poor people going without so that rich twats can build dens out of loo roll, is funny.

Jesus wept. Not only no sense of humour but no reading comprehension either. OP is doing the exact opposite of taking the piss out of poor people

Spot on

Anyone else remember when humour on MN used to actually be amusing?

Well I thought it was a decent effort, though I agree Oliver is a bit middle of the road. I'm sorry some people are so po faced.

I take her humour as taking the piss out of the White Middle Class.

You can buy pre made pasta? Wow.

I am becoming more streetwise by the minute. Tell me more!

But is it biodynamic and organic toilet paper? If not, why are you punishing your children?

Oh and I know it's you're instead of your. But I was typing fast.

It's taking the piss out of middle class but also taking a swipe at those worse off. The ones less privileged always come off worse, for obvious reasons.
My reading comprehension is sound 👌🏻 and so is my SOH (because I laugh at funny jokes).