I have 2 DDs
I really feel like I hate my eldest (6)
No idea why. She irritates me all the time, annoys me, I have absolutely no patience with her. I find her weird, have nothing in common, she’s the complete opposite of me.
She doesn’t listen at all, yet she is very bright, has lots of friends and an extremely kind nature.
Tonight I lost it, she’s sharing a room with her sister for now and she keeps her up, i spoke to her before bed and I asked her to please go straight to sleep, I’m not well, DH is out, her sister is tired and I need her just to go to bed and go to sleep. I asked her not to go into her sisters bed, no talking tonight and just basically go to sleep. For 2 hours now she hasn’t fucking shut up, I’ve been up and down, shouted and warned it doesn’t matter. Came up to go to bed myself and she’s still talking and now she’s in her sisters bed.
I lost it and grabbed her out and put her in the spare room which has nothing in it atm. I shut the door and actually considered leaving her in there all night but know how cruel that sounds. Her sister was asleep within minutes so I went and got DD from the bedroom and told her to get into her bed and face the wall and go to sleep.
I want to smack her but I don’t.
She’s my first born, if anything was to happen to her I would die myself but I still can’t get rid of this feeling towards her. I don’t feel like that towards her sister.
I’m not depressed, I have a good life, a good husband and generally happy. I’d say she is a well behaved child but I just don’t “get” her.
I don’t know why I’m posting, a cry for help, maybe hoping someone else has felt the same and came out the other side. I don’t know.