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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

AIBU to be annoyed with SIL?

138 replies

hallomother · 12/03/2020 16:44

I realised recently I had accumulated a lot of clubcard points. Because of all the panic buying I thought I'd share them around a bit and offer some online shops to members of the family who might need a bit extra.
I offered a shop to SIL and she accepted - I've just finalised everything and seen that she's used the shop for four bottles of champagne, some tea towels and a bedding set.
I'm a bit Confused because everyone else has used theirs to get some tins etc in, but also feel like I can't say anything because it's up to her what she spends it on!
But now I feel guilty as I feel like I should have just ordered a load of stuff for a food bank instead!

AIBU to be irritated by this?

OP posts:
Hoggleludo · 12/03/2020 16:46

No way!!!

I'd be sooooo annoyed. Can you take it back?

LagunaBubbles · 12/03/2020 16:47

If you're daft enough to give all your points away then you can't get annoyed at what they spend it on!

AryaStarkWolf · 12/03/2020 16:50

YABU

CuriousaboutSamphire · 12/03/2020 16:52

Text/fb book her! Make a joke of it... "Champagne? That's the sort of prepping we all need to do!"

MzHz · 12/03/2020 16:53

Why the fuck would you do that? honestly that's bonkers! the vouchers could have sorted you out for Christmas etc...

MzHz · 12/03/2020 16:54

no good deed goes unpunished eh ? lesson learned

Geepipe · 12/03/2020 16:55

Yabu you offered them and didnt stipulate what for, sil is perfectly in her right to buy what she wants. If my sil offered me points/vouchers i would spend them on stuff i wanted. Wouldnt occur to me she meant i could only buy what she wanted me to.

dontdisturbmenow · 12/03/2020 16:59

It was stupid to offer and contribute to the shelves being emptied through panic buying. Maybe she was making a point?

Isthistrueor · 12/03/2020 17:08

So you offered club card points to your relatives so they could go out and panic buy bog roll and tins of beans? Ffs.

JustInCaseCakeHappens · 12/03/2020 17:09

YABU

you offered a shop, ie a treat. She bought a treat. What's the issue?

Lynda07 · 12/03/2020 17:17

Did you specify strict conditions when you offered the reward points?

Irial · 12/03/2020 17:18

if you didn't tell her what she had to buy when you kindly offered your gift with strings, then you are U

did you tell her what she had to buy? is she a grown up?

Jux · 12/03/2020 17:19

I'd text/message her saying that this offer was for essentials only. Would she like to change her basket or would she like you to cancel it and spend the points on a foodbank?

drinkygin · 12/03/2020 17:21

YABU and tbh it’s weird that you gave your vouchers away for this reason.

CatBatCat · 12/03/2020 17:21

You basically offered her cash - up to her what to spend it on.

Zaphodsotherhead · 12/03/2020 17:22

Wjy did it have to be essentials? God, life is miserable enough at the moment, good on her for wanting to have a bit of fun and a nice clean bed to suffer the hangover in.

Everyday shopping is for everyday. You offered her a treat. Like a gift. You wouldn't give someone a gift voucher and then complain about when they spent it on, would you?

outnumberedmummy · 12/03/2020 17:25

Did u tell her she could only buy essentials

SuburbanFraggle · 12/03/2020 17:26

Are they struggling financially?

JustInCaseCakeHappens · 12/03/2020 17:26

I'd text/message her saying that this offer was for essentials only.
how rude.

underfall · 12/03/2020 17:37

To me it seems completely unreasonable. If you had requirements about what she was allowed to buy, you should’ve kept your points to yourself.

Now you’ve let her think you were giving her a genuine generous gift, when actually you’re on mumsnet bitching about her.

Intelinside57 · 12/03/2020 17:37

Did you say here, have some on-line shopping as a gift from me? Or did you say here, buy some essentials on-line as a gift from me?

oprahfan · 12/03/2020 17:42

Well.....it’s slightly annoying...... however, I was in a supermarket this afternoon and noticed people stocking up on loo roll, soaps, laundry stuff etc and this one particular lady had copious amounts of wine in with her shop too! They do say alcohol is a disinfectant 😬😬😬😬😬 What a way to go, eh? Enjoy yourself whilst you can! 😂🥂
I think she’s been a bit of cheeky bugger though, especially if you stipulated it was for essentials or if anyone was struggling.

Babybel90 · 12/03/2020 17:46

Why didn’t you boost them for 3 times the value?

If you give them away then it’s up to the recipient what they do with them, what if she’d used them to buy tins and used the money she would’ve spent on tins to buy champagne, would that be ok?

RhymingRabbit3 · 12/03/2020 18:02

Did you say "I've got some clubcard points so if you want to buy some tins of beans and loo roll feel free" or did you just say you've got clubcard points that need spending and would she like them?
TBH if someone offered me free shopping I would spend it on stuff I wouldn't otherwise be able to buy - not tinned good which I have plenty of. If you didnt stipulate in the beginning I dont see why you would be annoyed.

PlugholePencil · 12/03/2020 18:03

@babybel90 you beat me to it!
Why would anyone use them in store when you can get 3x the value elsewhere?!