AIBU to be annoyed with SIL?

[hallomother]

I realised recently I had accumulated a lot of clubcard points. Because of all the panic buying I thought I'd share them around a bit and offer some online shops to members of the family who might need a bit extra.
I offered a shop to SIL and she accepted - I've just finalised everything and seen that she's used the shop for four bottles of champagne, some tea towels and a bedding set.
I'm a bit because everyone else has used theirs to get some tins etc in, but also feel like I can't say anything because it's up to her what she spends it on!
But now I feel guilty as I feel like I should have just ordered a load of stuff for a food bank instead!

AIBU to be irritated by this?

Unless you offered stipulations/intentions of use, it would be tricky to reneg, even if you did, that they’re needs are what they purchased... kinda sums them up... bestbto let it go and know next time keep those points for a more worthy cause.. x

Yabu. But if she has to quarantine and starts begging for tins, do offer a champagne-tin swap.

Bollocks

I would never use my points at Tesco. I buy my Senior Railcard and my English Heritage subscription every year. It’s great value for things like this.

I like busyprocrastinators suggestion.

YANBU if someone offered me money/ vouchers for a shop I'd feel really grabby getting champagne and bedding unless it was definitely stated it was a treat.

It depends how you worded the offer.

I'd be annoyed, but tbh, I doubt I'd have offered, unless she was in particular need of food and unable to buy it for herself. Assuming that's not the case, I'd learn from this and not give her another similar opportunity.

@CheshireDing that is a very very good point!

Maybe, she’s not buying into the panic stockpiling and has no idea that’s what you were getting at? Plenty of people thinks it’s unnecessary or immoral.

If she thought you were offering points you’d never use as a treat, it makes sense to buy treat items.

Still thinks it’s odd you wouldn’t just use the points yourself though.

Has to be a wind up. Points last for ages. No way would you give them away!

Ha well that’s me told. I’m clearly an idiot for trying to do a good deed 🙄

I don’t know why everyone is so surprised that you might give points away - I didn’t give them all away and if someone is a bit hard up surely it’s a nice thing to do to try and help them out a bit?!

If your sil is hard up then she is probably desperate for a treat! She's chosen what would make her happy which I think is quite sweet .

But did you say it was for essentials only?

You know she is hard up wanted to treat them, but only treat them to what you want them to have?

Champagne and bedding? I’d call that quality prepping

I also wasn’t suggesting she panic buy but I was was worried that because other people are they might not be able to wait until payday to get things in and might run short.
I don’t see what’s wrong with that personally

Op you didn't do anything wrong. I would be a little peeved but I'd just think well I won't be helping you out again hahaha

But that's her decisions to make.

I am not panic buying either.

Giving people your points to encourage other people to competitively panic buy, is the problem.

Some people stocked up, others saw that people were stocking up so stocked up and before you know asda is out of bog roll.

Why would you encourage it?

She is an adult. I can decide for herself what she wants to do

Did she tell you she was strapped for cash?

Are you sure she wasn't just holding the delivery slot with this stuff and plans to edit the order later?

I think you did a very nice thing, but once the gift is given you can't control how it's spent. If it's annoyed you I guess that tells you not to do it again.

YABU to think that because you are behaving in a paranoid way that your SIL would be too

So can you cancel the order? That's really bad tbf. Can understand you wanting to help people out getting essentials but I'd have saved the points in case you needed them in an emergency,
Anyways I'd cancel the order or if it's to late stalk her house and intercept the delivery...put your new bed set on and get piseed.

You did a nice thing op.
Maybe your sil needs new bedding and tea towels.
Not sure about the four bottles of champagne. Is she having a celebratory party soon? Hope you’re invited!
Don’t think about anymore. You have a gift and I’m sure she and your brother appreciate it.

Sigh, how is getting a few extra bits - literally a FEW extra bits classed as 'encouraging panic buying'?
I'm not shoving 44 loo rolls in my shopping trolley or clearing the shelves of soap. I've just been picking up a few extra tins every shop.
SIL is hard up. She has mentioned this. So I thought I'd do a good deed.

But do explain how saying 'i thought you could get a shop in now rather than wait til payday when panic buyers have cleared the shelves' is encouraging panic buying or paranoid behaviour.

I should have probably put all this in my OP but I forgot how deliberately obtuse some mumsnet posters like to be.

I am probably being unreasonable because yes she can buy what she likes with the gifts, maybe surprised is a better word. I was surprised at her choices.

I hope she fancies sharing the champagne too