Looking after your own children IS work

[Bumpitybumper]

Oxford Dictionary definition of "work":
activity involving mental or physical effort done in order to achieve a purpose or result

AIBU to suggest that the people that suggest that looking after one's own children isn't work are wrong and in some cases are actively trying to devalue and undermine the people (usually women) that do the majority of childcare?

Would be really interested to understand how anyone can read this definition and argue that looking after children isn't work.

But I think you will find lots of jobs in paid employment are not hard work either and are much easier than bringing up children
Like which job? And how many children are you talking about and what age?

I think you are being a bit selective by using 'lots of' jobs. I think a minority would be more appropriate.

@themarkofthemaker and when do you do these tasks? likely when the kids are with you I assume. This means less time to do other stuff with them.

Yes, organising a bag is such hard work

@IceCreamAndCandyfloss there are a lot more tasks to do other then organize bags

Why lol at organising bags? Lots of jobs eg being receptionist at really empty office involve less organising capacity than organising children’s school bags

You must be actively trolling now. I’ve never heard anything so clueless.

All WOHP pack their children’s bags and trust me, it doesn’t even register on their list of ‘tasks.’

If you work for instance in IT from home you can def work in your PJs at home make up free without getting sack and watch greys anatomy at same time as doing work !!!! And there is not much accountability in a lot of jobs I have seen. In private sector in financial sector when money is good they don’t bother to sack though they will do when times get bad. . Same with a few public sector jobs. Where is the acccountability there? Ok with a lot of jobs you have to turn up and do something but hardly as strenuous as looking after a couple of toddlers. A lot of people in paid employment make out they are doing a lot more than they do. Also surely by far the majority of mothers do a minimum of feed clothe and clean children otherwise neglect. Most do a whole lot more. Also did not know the definition of work was a job with accountability. Bit of a niche definition.

Is looking after your own kids work?

Probably.

Is it a job?

No.

And there is not much accountability in a lot of jobs I have seen.

Your grip on the working world is very limited, let’s just say that.

So packing my children’s bags or making sure they have packed them just register as a task and ‘work’ for me and I do a full time paid employment job. But obviously a terrible and disorganised minority. I guess I should be pleased to be surrounded by so many women who find doing tasks involved with bringing up children eg cooking, cleaning for them, packing their bags as jobs that are so easy and because everyone does them, don’t even register as ‘work’, or jobs that they are so privileged or honoured to do, that they do not classify them as ‘work’

You must be actively trolling now. I’ve never heard anything so clueless
I have.
On some (of the many) threads like this I've seen someone arguing that organising the family photos was a key part of why they were so busy and an OP who annoyed their working DP only did the school run in the morning listing making their OWN cup of coffee in their list of 'why I'm so busy in the morning'. They also included waving the older children out the door in this extensive list.

It's like the stay at home parent version of the workplace busy-person who doesn't need to prep for an afternoon meeting, but has to log onto their laptop, edit their documents, go all the way to the printer, curate their handouts and so on.

Some people positively adore ensuring everyone know just how busy and hardworking they are by overplaying the most mundane things.

@achainisonlyasstrong

I'm pretty sure this is a joke now. Or you have very, very limited life experience.

@ineedsun depends on what people classify as organizing a bag I guess. I know my mum used to spend 5 minutes after school to go through any letters and my homework book to check I am upto date. Then in the morning she would spend 30mins to an hour to make a bento lunch. And maybe an extra 10 if I had to take in my pe kit etc

Don’t know why my grip on the working world is limited. It’s limited by my own experience. But’s that over 20 years experience of full time working in finance predominantly in London.

Have been exposed to what most people would call very hard working environments. And still think looking after children is def work just often not paid.

For goodness sake are we really trying to convince people that packing a child's bag is hard work now. Get a grip.

I've packed plenty of school bags, I don't even consider it a chore/task it's that basic.

Parents working or not still have to read letters their children bring home. Seems like people are desperately clutching at anything here now.

It really is not hard to pack a school bag and cook a meal for your kids.

There are stay at home mums who make a mountain of the work they do. But there are also plenty of people in paid employment who make a mountain of the work they do. Sitting at a desk all day sending a few emails. Why does that register as work? At least when you are cooking you are on your feet.

If you work for instance in IT from home you can def work in your PJs at home make up free without getting sack and watch greys anatomy at same time as doing work
Oh yes, hundreds of such jobs being advertised every week, very common profession amongst working mums

And there is not much accountability in a lot of jobs I have seen
Not much accountability in financial jobs that's true, if you work in a bank and cash in £100 instead of £100k, it's no big deal, you'd never get in trouble for that!

Strange work places you've been in!

Sorry but there may be plenty of posters who don’t find it hard work to cook a meal. But to be honest I do find it hard work as standing up to cook esp
Whe. Kids were young and toddlers crawling around. Packing bag not hard work but annoying job. Lots of tasks I do during my office job which are far less hard. Like I said when in my office at least not on my feet. Have lovely comfortable chair and desk. Quite a few men I work with I suspect come in earlier than they have to and leave office later than they have to to avoid the chores of looking after children.

There are plenty of jobs in finance and IT where you won t get sacked for not earning your firms mega bucks

For instance if you work in IT for an investment bank you are back room. You can work from home in your pjs . You will be earning very decent money. And you won’t get sacked for not earning mega bucks.

For instance if you work in IT for an investment bank you are back room. You can work from home in your pjs . You will be earning very decent money. And you won’t get sacked for not earning mega bucks.

You will get sacked for not performing the support function you were hired to do.

But to be honest I do find it hard work as standing up to cook ... Packing bag not hard work but annoying job. Lots of tasks I do during my office job which are far less hard

You don't seem to grasp that its not an either/or for working parents. They do both. They don't make a big song and dance about packing a bag because they have a million other things to do.

I honestly can't decide if you are a troll or just have no grasp on reality.

never Said that there are hundreds of working mums in IT. All I am saying is cooking a meal for your children can be as much hard work as a man who has trained in IT working for an investment bank working at home in his PJs. Ok working in IT is better paid and more specialised and far less people can do it. But for that man it may not be that much work at all as he knows exactly what he is doing and has done it a hundred times before. And also deadline is not imminent. So he knows he can do it tomorrow. For that woman she might be tired, ill, recovering from flu but still has got to cook that meal because no one else will do it and she does not have enough money for a take away.

I found being at home with one baby easier than being a FT Primary School teacher, but being at home with a baby and toddler harder work than being a Primary School teacher. It probably depends on how easy the particular children are. I remember a fellow Primary School teacher saying she went to work for a break. In fact I've heard that more than once. Luckily for me my dh didn't see being at home with them as leisure time either or it wouldn't have worked.

But for that man it may not be that much work at all as he knows exactly what he is doing and has done it a hundred times before. And also deadline is not imminent. So he knows he can do it tomorrow

Or it's really complicated, the deadline is imminent and he'll be pulling an all nighter to get it done. He might be ill too btw.

For that woman she might be tired, ill, recovering from flu but still has got to cook that meal because no one else will do it and she does not have enough money for a take away.

So she does beans on toast or a jacket spud.

I'm reading through this and wondering when the kids of some of these parents will learn any practical skills.

My DD is 5, she gets her own school clothes from the wardrobe/drawers and gets washed, dressed herself when she wakes up.

I or DH sort her breakfast, chat with her, she helps to pick what goes in her lunch box, she brushes her teeth then she checks that she has what she needs in her bag.

I get dressed and ready then I walk her to school, play with her in the playground for a bit, chat with her and her friends, give her a kiss and she goes in.

All of the things she does are easy for her, she wants to do them as she likes being grown up and feeling independent. Why are parents having to organise school bags? Also if my 5 yr old can do it in 30 seconds, how is any adult even counting it as a significant task.

I would absolutely understand if the child has SEN or other additional needs, but for neurotypical, physically able children, why are any parents spending ages organising bags?

In the afternoon, we pick her up at 4pm from afterschool club, she comes home and does any homework, she may ask us to help or to check she's understood but otherwise is fine getting on with it while we do a quick check for any important letters in the book bag and talk to her about her day, what she learned, what she played, who she talked to.

She helps with getting dinner ready, will rip up lettuce for salad, stir anything cold that needs stirring, use a butter knife to chop up mushrooms or green beans or tomatoes....

She helps with drying up after washing the pots and setting the table.

We eat together and tell silly stories or talk about anything that's bothering her.

We'll play for a bit after dinner, then she gets washed and into her pjs. We read together or do role play where she sets up teddies and teaches them something she learned at school. Then she goes to bed.

Then DH and I do a tidy around, run the hoover, mop the floor etc.

Clothes washing is a series of 2-5 min jobs.

2 min - shove it in machine and press a button. Morning if it's warm enough to go outside, evening if it needs tumble drying.
2 mins - move it from washing machine to tumble dryer
5 mins - hang it on the line
..........

'If you work for instance in IT from home you can def work in your PJs at home make up free without getting sack and watch greys anatomy at same time as doing work
Oh yes, hundreds of such jobs being advertised every week, very common profession amongst working mums grin'

This is me. The reduction of traditional 'women's work' to no effort, no relevance to society economy, essentially fairly selfish combined with a sexist assumption around women working from home in IT is essentially laughable is really fucking depressing.

The attitudes on this thread when added together are shocking.