To not attend DF's wedding to OW?

[mothtoaflame]

Huge backstory which I won't go in to unless absolutely necessary but...if your 65 year old Dad decided to marry the OW, despite having made your disapproval of the relationship quite clear, would you attend the wedding?

Age gap relationship with soon to be 'trophy wife', siblings and my inheritance unprotected. Everyone else on board except me. Don't know what to do....

nope! Not a chance!

I would go for my DF. But it would be a bitter pill. I'd rather go and resent it than not go and regret it.

You don't have to approve of her to wish him happiness. But don't spoil the wedding with mutterings and looks, as hard as that may be.

YANBU

Sorry that wasn’t helpful.

I’m estranged from my father (who married the OW) - not because of the fact that he cheated on my mother, she was far better off without him, but because of the appalling way he treated her once she ended their marriage.

He’s quite happy to keep me away from OW because I’m the only one who won’t hold back from telling her that she WAS the other woman (she believes his lies) and a whole other load of lies he span.

I couldn’t care less about my ‘inheritance’. I don’t want anything to do with the man and that includes his money.

How long has it been since your parents divorced?

YANBU, don’t put yourself through it.

I wouldn't go personally. My DD2 went to her father's wedding (to another man) because she thought she might regret not going. Her mental health slipped back so badly as a result.

It depends how good an actress you can (or want) to be.

Ultimately though I think you need to kiss any hope of inheritance goodbye. Do you think your siblings are holding hope on it?

No I wouldn’t go

How long have they been together?

I declined the invite to my dad's remarriage and blessing, as I couldn't sit there playing happy families, when I just wanted to stick sharp pointy objects into the pair of them for the hurt they had caused my Mum. I did send flowers, but I couldn't just go and be civil, so better to stay away.

That was about 30 years ago now, and I don't regret it at all.

Hell no!

Send a card and a potted cactus...

potted cactus lol

Why would you go then? He doesn’t need your ill will at his wedding and you don’t seem to want to go so don’t go.

My MIL is married to the OM who also happened to be FIL’s best friend at the time... Imagine that one. My DH didn’t speak to his Mother for years following the break up but they’re on ok terms now, DH mostly tolerates her. He didn’t go to the wedding.

Is that it now. Have you disowned your father? You want nothing more to do with him? Because that's the message you send if you fail to go.

He's moved on with his life. You either need to accept that and be happy for him. Or stop contact...forever. If that thought is too hard then go along and be happy for him. You don't have to see him all the time with OW, but you do have to support him.

Oh, and anything he has now is not your inheritance. It's his to do with what he chooses. He's very young still so maybe nothing left when he passed. Don't make money part of your decision.

She didn’t know he was married when they began their relationship?

Can you go and not feel ill will? If not, I’d send something nice with a card explaining that you’re not ready yet, but you hope they have a lovely day.

This might not be true, but if everyone else is on board, you might not want to split people’s loyalties. You can’t stop it from happening, but if it’s a difficult place for you to be, you could decline with grace.

Not a chance I would go.

I would not be attending the event.

Don't think I could

NFW I'd go, and watch him make the same vows he shit all over with his previous spouse? Not a chance. Wouldn't care who else was on board. I'd decline and move on with my life without him in it.

Did ow know she was the ow? how long has he been separated from your dm? i don't think i could go, but could damage your relationship for good if you dont go, guess it depends if you want to keep a relationship or not.

I'm assuming this is all recent? If you're talking about the OW from 30 years ago who your dad's still with then yes I'd go.

If it's the OW from a recent affair where your DM has been cheated on and it's all still very raw for everyone then yes, I'd struggle to go.

Parents split up 5 years ago but beloved DM sadly passed away 3 years ago, which has a huge impact on my feelings. Will discuss the situation with DF but I'm ultimately looking for validation from the Mumsnet jury as to why this is so hard for me.