Lack of sympathy for sick days.

[Sickday444]

My DP seems to average out 1 to 2 sick days a month always one day at a time.

Each time he looks fine and is able to do whatever he fancies - drives, play games, goes to the shop, see friends/family etc but has his dailymail sad eyes on ‘I’m so ill’.

However he still expects me to give him sympathy. I feel I’m turning into my mother and I just want to tell him by the time he gets to work he’ll be feeling much better or if he’s well enough to be driving/playing games/going out he’s well enough to go to work.

He asked this morning that I give him more sympathy which I must admit is pretty impossible for me right now. He’s currently gone to the supermarket to get himself some snacks. Or maybe it’s because I’m more annoyed because he’s still on probation at his new job and he/we can’t afford for it not to work out.

i would have sacked him by now.

Are you looking for a reason to leave op? sounds like you've stopped caring...

@fedup21

I didn’t notice even with a couple of posters pointing it out - I presumed they must have been foreign or maybe it was a regional thing 🙊

I think I’m going to rename it the boy who called woof. It’s got bit more of a ring to it. That’s what happens when you’ve got a man child demanding attention every 5 minutes!

This isn’t normal. Brutal honesty about his depressing work ethic would be kinder than any sympathy.

He’s never been taught resilience and he’ll keep failing until he learns some before it’s too late.

I've had 1 day in 8 years!
How he hasn't been sacked is beyond me!

He sounds pathetic

As my mum used to say, if you can get up and dressed, you can go to school.

Load of bollocks. I could get up and get dressed when I had flu last year, but I was in no fit state for work and nobody would have wanted me there anyway. DS was able to get up and get dressed when he had a stomach bug, again, he wasn't well enough for school and pretty sure they wouldn't have wanted to deal with the d&v.

I mean it's just stupid and just leads to presenteeism and more people ill.

I’d leave the relationship too if DH did this. Lack of work ethic isn’t an attractive feature to me and if he was unable to pay his share of bills because he was dismissed for absence I would be livid.

Luckily he’s the same as me and both very very rarely take time off.

A lot of company's and businesses are projecting to lose major revenue in the upcoming months. I get the feeling that those with a history of being work-shy will not be given the benefit if the time comes to cut back hours or implementing redundancies. You DH needs to recognise that he might find himself in this category.

I am another who is amazed he still has a job...for now...

@GrolliffetheDragon - my mum was born in 1932. They were made of stern stuff in those days!

To be fair to her she only said it to us when we were of school age and liable to 'exaggerating' symptoms to try to get a day off school. She obviously wouldn't have extended it to people who were obviously ill!

Couldn’t be arsed with this and defo wouldn’t want to co parent with someone like it!

How has he not had the sack?

@SecretWitch me not being clear - you can use a tin of beans to thump a lump of ginger to make ginger tea - far less effort than chopping it up or grating it.

They'd sort him out if the nausea is through constipation, though.

Nothing...absolutely nothing angers me more than idleness.
I utterly despise people that take the piss with sick leave.

I always remember the story of Siberian mine workers....once a week they were lined up and told to hold out their hands. Each workers hand was closely inspected...if it was soft and supple the worker was deemed idle and was shot!!

During the past 21 years work I have 5 days off sick.

From my experience, I know a few people like this, they were always off 'sick' at school and their parents coddled them like mad. A slight cough or headache and they can't work. Like most I was taught just to get on with it

@MitziK, thank you for responding.

I had ginger sweets to help combat morning sickness. I’m wondering if that might help too..

@Zaphodsotherhead it brought back memories of my games teacher, their attitude was if you're well enough to be in school, you're well enough to do sport. They had a massive go at one of the girls once who had forgotten to bring in a note, pretty much saying that word for word.

Her leg was in plaster. We were doing cross country. No idea what they expected her to do.

On probation with a sick record like that??
Unless he is suffering with depression or similar, this is completely unacceptable. And if if he is suffering with depression, he really needs to seek professional help as this is not a long term solution.

I remember, as a youngster, my (honorary) auntie having to have a "special medical" because of having too much time away from her teaching post. She was academically very well qualified in a shortage subject, but her erratic attendance meant that her pupils were not getting much benefit from that. (And later on, when I began teaching myself I realised what strain she must have been adding to her colleagues!)
I was too young to be privy to all the details, but I remember the teaching post not happening any more.
I believe the outcome of these medicals is either i) you're fit and well, stop messing us all about or ii) you are not physically robust enough for this job.
Later in my career, a younger colleague, who was on an initial one-year contract, did not have his contract extended, usually a mere formality. It sounds as if your DH is putting himself in this position. And, as a PP has pointed out, if staffing cuts are ever necessary, he is setting himself up as a prime candidate.

@SecretWitch

Flat lemonade and polo mints was a life saver during my hypermesis stage. Try those tho x

Pm me and let me know where this permissive job is?
This is the shit that I do need.

Only kidding.
I'm amazed he's getting away with this.
I would ditch him. He sounds pathetic.

I wonder if he uses 'feeling sick' because it's very hard to say to someone 'no you don't'. Anything else; a runny nose, even a headache, tend to produce changes in behaviour (not many people can sit and play games with a headache for example). But 'feeling sick' is so nebulous and irrefutable that it's a go-to for anyone pulling the wool.

There was a (female) poster who started a thread recently and was of the same ilk as your DP.

I vote for dumping him and letting two such well-suited malingerers types hook up together.

I thought some of you would like an update:

Guess who’s DP has lost their job?

I’ve hinted it’s more than likely down to time off but he’s not accepting it. Yes the company had to downsize but they’ve kept the four other people who started at the same time and someone who has less qualifications/experience (he was moaning about him when they started on how useless he was).

He’s in complete denial.