Lack of sympathy for sick days.

[Sickday444]

My DP seems to average out 1 to 2 sick days a month always one day at a time.

Each time he looks fine and is able to do whatever he fancies - drives, play games, goes to the shop, see friends/family etc but has his dailymail sad eyes on ‘I’m so ill’.

However he still expects me to give him sympathy. I feel I’m turning into my mother and I just want to tell him by the time he gets to work he’ll be feeling much better or if he’s well enough to be driving/playing games/going out he’s well enough to go to work.

He asked this morning that I give him more sympathy which I must admit is pretty impossible for me right now. He’s currently gone to the supermarket to get himself some snacks. Or maybe it’s because I’m more annoyed because he’s still on probation at his new job and he/we can’t afford for it not to work out.

Say he does genuinely feel sick, that means there’s something physically wrong. That could be food related or an issue with his stomach / guts. Either way, it would need investigating. The fact that he doesn’t take steps to address it he’s either a piss taker or in denial. It sounds like the former tbh. You can’t tie yourself forever to a man baby.

He should look for a part time job. A well paid part time job.

I used to have a work friend like this. She’d call in sick then go and play tennis because she suddenly felt better.

At one point I was doing one and a half jobs. I don’t see her any more.

No sympathy from me!!

I use the '4 Bs' rule. If you aren't Burning (with fever), Bleeding, Barfing, or Broken (bones) then off to school or work with you!

My DH used to use excessive sick days when we first got together. But a lot of it was because he was working shit jobs. Once he got a job that he actually enjoyed that had good working conditions (and a union) his sick days usage dropped drastically.

I don't have a problem with the occasional 'mental health day', we all need them now and again. There's a difference between that and being 'work shy'.

I feel for people he works with. He's taking the piss and just using it as annual leave.

And agree with TOtally regards mental health. Regular days every month is not mental health days.

And I'm nicking the 4 Bs test - love that. I'd actually make it 5 and and add 'Bricking' for diarrhoea

What does he say is actually wrong with him ?

I take it he hasn't been in this job for long?

And he doesn't last long in any job?

Do yourself a favour - don't have children with this waste of space.

He’s going to loose his job. Also when the government guidelines come into place over not going to work if your showing signs of the flu/coronavirus this week I would expect him to fully take advantage of that.
Maybe time to get rid?

Christ - if you can do all that you can go to work!

Currently off sick with viral tonsillitis, a full body rash and a temperature of 40C - drifting in and out of wakefulness. I can't stand without being dizzy and super dehydrated. I do have underlying health issues hoping tomorrow I can work from home as I'm not allowed on site due to the temperature and CV fears.

Perhaps he feels that your sympathy will validate his dubious reasons for time off. I’d be giving none.

He sounds like a lazy work shy git! I couldn’t be with someone who thought it was ok to skive. I have only had a week off my entire working life and at that time I had a bug that was so bad I lost a third of my body weight. I go into isn’t with coughs, colds, sometimes on antibis, with muscle strain, when I’m bereaved, when I’m depressed. It’s not an option, it’s a contractual obligation (serious contagious illness aside).

Bin him and move on, he sounds Iike a terrible investment.

Pathetic, work-shy lazy twat.

Couldn’t stay with a man like this. So irresponsible when you have lives to pay for. His mother pandering to him has just made a man child who will never change .

I wouldn't have any respect for someone like that, he is clearly just skiving. My DH has never had a day off sick in over 33 years of marriage, even during periods of tragic bereavement etc he carried on working (from home if necessary). A strong work ethic is very important to me.

What are his efforts at cleaning, cooking, laundry, gardening etc like?

Surely you'd be better off than being with this work shy git - what are his good points?

He’s a lazy bastard, not for one minute could I tolerate this nonsense

He wants some sympathy?
Here’s some from me 🤣

I have no sympathy for lazy people. Nor do I have sympathy for those like him, who cause the problems himself.

Even IF he has mh issues, nothing stopping him from going to talk to someone professionally about it.

This really does ruin it for the rest of us.

In my last job we had a strict 3 sicknesses in a year and your out rule.

I was unfortunately sick and had to call in but felt guilty and forced myself in the next day only I wasn't ready and sick again and ended up going back home.
I was told this would count as my second sickness strike and if I was off sick again in the next 12 months it was automatic dismissal so I had to find another job after working there 13 years as I couldn't have the insecurity of knowing if I came down with anything in the next 12 months I'd be unemployed.

Employers should be more lenient with genuine sickness as people depend on their jobs and sickness is unpreventable and unplanned likewise employees shouldn't take the piss and leave everyone else under such fear of losing their jobs because they skive and make calling in sick impossible.

He is on probation. It is employees like him that create issue's for others, jobs could be more lenient if some jokers didn't take the piss.
It brings out the big stick for others.

God, I missed that he was still on probation! So he’s been there a matter of months?! He hasn’t a hope in hell of passing probation, so you’re looking at him being unemployed by his own hand fairly shortly.
Still sound like a catch?

I'm surprised he still has a job. He would have been sacked long ago in my job.

As others have said if he's on probation then he's likely not to be kept on. I had friend in a similar situation,she worked hard and he floated in and out jobs. She was paying the bills and he did naff all . It took 18 mths but she kicked him out. Maybe time for a reality check. If mummy is that happy to pander let him live there .

*In my last job we had a strict 3 sicknesses in a year and your out rule.

I was unfortunately sick and had to call in but felt guilty and forced myself in the next day only I wasn't ready and sick again and ended up going back home.
I was told this would count as my second sickness strike and if I was off sick again in the next 12 months it was automatic dismissal so I had to find another job after working there 13 years as I couldn't have the insecurity of knowing if I came down with anything in the next 12 months I'd be unemployed.*

I’m pretty sure that dismissing someone with 13 years service after 3 short absences in a year and with no prior warnings would likely have been an unfair dismissal.

Bloody hell, I agree with some of the PPs who reckon he's angling to get fired and be idle.

What a lazy fucker he is.

If he's at home anyway could you persuade him to be actively applying for jobs, if you know he hates his job and finds it boring then that's why he's not there.

He will lose his job, and deserve to.

Funny isn't it, I don't suppose you were expecting ' LTB' comments but honestly, this is such an unattractive personality trait. I would hate to be with someone like this ..in fact I wouldn't be.

Selfish, lazy and unreliable.

Yep, wouldn't be for me.