Lack of sympathy for sick days.

[Sickday444]

My DP seems to average out 1 to 2 sick days a month always one day at a time.

Each time he looks fine and is able to do whatever he fancies - drives, play games, goes to the shop, see friends/family etc but has his dailymail sad eyes on ‘I’m so ill’.

However he still expects me to give him sympathy. I feel I’m turning into my mother and I just want to tell him by the time he gets to work he’ll be feeling much better or if he’s well enough to be driving/playing games/going out he’s well enough to go to work.

He asked this morning that I give him more sympathy which I must admit is pretty impossible for me right now. He’s currently gone to the supermarket to get himself some snacks. Or maybe it’s because I’m more annoyed because he’s still on probation at his new job and he/we can’t afford for it not to work out.

He's seriously taking the mick and shouldn't be surprised if either his probation is extended or he fails it.

I'm minging with a bad throat and just feeling generally shit, but I'm working from home, so it's not so bad. Let's just hope nobody from where he works sees him out and about.

Maybe he has munch house ern syndrome

No sympathy from me. Lazy arse.

The man has no moral spine.

There'd be no sympathy from me either, if he can go to the shops, he's not ill so shouldn't be taking a dick day.

Have you spelt it out to him OP about how you'll be off if he gets the sack?

There'd be no sympathy from me either, if he can go to the shops, he's not ill so shouldn't be taking a dick day.

Sounds like every day is a dick day for him

Sounds like he was sacked from his old job if he's on probation in a new job.
Ask him where your sympathy is for having to put up with a twat and lazy arse.
I'd be long gone, what's keeping you with him? How can you fancy him yuk.

He is going to lose his job and bloody deserve it too

My dh had a Friday off sick a couple of weeks ago due to a headache and eye pain and couldn't possibly look at a laptop all day so he spent most of the day at home playing on his phone i was not impressed and make that known.

Good god that's pathetic! I'm amazed he hasn't been 'managed out' at work. He wouldn't be getting any sympathy from me given that he isn't actually ill.

He may have gotten away with it so far, but I imagine he’s gradually reaching tipping point. Nobody take a couple of days off a month and goes unnoticed.

He doesn’t need sympathy he needs a kick up the arse. He’s going to lose his job over his skiving and will no doubt expect sympathy then as well.

It's not great but is it really worth leaving him over- that seems extreme. Maybe just talk to him about how it looks to be fully functioning and yet claiming to be ill.

Tell him to go to mummy's when he feels poorly and she can look after him. He could lose his job.

He's ill but can go to the supermarket?? Wow I think my husband takes off maybe 5 sick days a year! Not 2 a month!
If you're well enough to get out of bed for anything other than the toilet, then you're well enough to go to work.

I used to manage a guy like this. Young, fit 27 year old who was great when he actually turned up but took so many sick days.

Had to extend his probation and get HR involved.

Some men are just wet blankets!

he had called woof so often

Cried wolf?

I'd dump him anyway. He will never change.

I hope you are using reliable contraception, otherwise a miserable future lies ahead.

My ex lost his extremely well paid job due to sickness.
He has now not worked for 2 years and is unlikely to be able to get another job in banking.
Good. Lazy bastard destroyed me financially trying to keep us afloat.

He keeps asking what’s up with me as I’m acting differently. I’m not his boss nor his mother. If he looses this job it’s his own fault and that will be the end of us.

Yeah and stick to this.
How long have you been with him? What's his work history like? How long has he held a job down for?
Because this is not looking good at all. He's taking the piss.

We can't exclude a mental health issue but I sometimes think people are too quick to jump in with "it could be mental health problems" when it's more likely that he's just a lazy fucker - he's not suffering with his mental health that much if he can take himself of to the supermarket, go for a drive, play games etc.

I had an ex who behaved like this and turned out to be a cocklodger.
Is your DP living with you already? If he isn't, don't let him move in. If he is and he loses the job, he has to go.
Exactly this happened with my ex and as he was living with me he decided he really didn't need to get a job so was just hanging around doing nothing and it turned out when I dug more into his work history, that he had a record of this kind of behaviour.

I once emplyed someone like your DH, she caused my small business and me such stress....sleepless nights never knowing if we were going to have another panicked day covering for her work, trying to keep customers happy.......often we overheard her talking about shopping or seeing parents on those days some time later.
My other lovely hardworking staff had to cover so often and work twice as hard...she never gave them a thought.

He is a selfish git who needs a kick up the rear.

employed

Some people have a very skewed notion of feeling ill. There was a thread the other day with the op asking if it sounded ok for her to go for a run, when she’d called in sick that morning
Surprisingly, there were many posters cheering her on 🤷🏻‍♀️

2 a month. I'd sack him.

I’d dump him. Even before his work do. Your values just aren’t aligned, are they?
I wouldn’t respect a lazy man, and once I don’t respect them, I don’t fancy them and then... well, what’s left of the relationship?