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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To think the orthodontist is rude

352 replies

Itsmum2000 · 09/03/2020 12:44

Hi,

DS (18) has overbite and has been receiving orthodontic treatment for it since July 2018.

His orthodontist has always come across as very sarcastic and unprofessional.

A few months after the start of the treatment she recommended he get one of his upper side teeth removed to allow space for the bite to reduce, she didn’t provide DS with enough info about this at the time so he refused and then she made sarcastic comments like “oh you’re a man with a plan” “why come here anymore if you won’t get this simple procedure done”

Eventually, he did get it done and then she started to be reasonable again. (Ok I do get why she may be annoyed that he refused to get his tooth extracted, but she didn’t provide him with enough facts and she didn’t need to be blunt about it)

Anyway, he was in again today and he had broken his braces as he was removing plaque a couple of days ago with a dental hook and the wire came off and he tried to put it back in again and it wouldn’t go in.

I told him to tell the orthodontist that he was eating corn on the cob and it came off due to that, which he did and she didn’t believe it.

She didn’t directly say that, she just said “oh well that’s the most dangerous corn on the cob I’ve come across, “I think it’s had a little assistance”

So obviously she knew he was lying but DS thinks that was rude? AWBU?

He also asked her if the braces could come off soon and she apparently bluntly said no and her tone kind of made it sound like it was unreasonable that he was even asking for the braces to come off.

P.s I’m asking this on DS’ behalf

OP posts:
Lou12124 · 10/03/2020 19:40

Lol! Maybe you should go with your son to see for yourself if they are 'unprofessional' 'sarcastic' 'rude' before you start bad mouthing them? How do you know that's how they are acting If you've never met the orthodontist? Seems to me like your son can do no wrong in your eyes. So maybe take a trip with him to see how they really are and what they really say. Or if because hes 18 and old enough to make his own decisions like you say then let him get on with it? OR even better...if they really are rude then why not report it to the reception and ask to see someone different? Instead of coming on here to bad mouth them?

nsav · 10/03/2020 19:41

You shouldn’t have lied. But when I had braces my orthodontist refused to do any more treatment after I didn’t want to get my jaw broken due to going to uni 4 weeks later and just undergoing plastic surgery on my hand - I would require about 6 weeks off of school and work due to the severity of the operation! He’s a prick

glennamy · 10/03/2020 19:42

She is a professional giving him advice and he seems to be very unsure of himself!

Why lie about the breakage?

Also he is 18, time to cut those strings and let him live his life!

katielilly · 10/03/2020 19:46

Your son is non-compliant, so don't be surprised if your orthodontist decides to remove the appliances for this reason.
Somehow I doubt this is your son's first breakage, probably your annoyance is being presented (quite justifiably) with an £80 NHS orthodontic breakage fee.
You are focusing on all the wrong things here OP-all your son has to do is follow a simple set of instructions, which does not include using a dental hook to remove plaque 😂😂
Obviously simple instructions are beyond him. I wonder where your son gets his attitude from?

Cillmantain · 10/03/2020 19:51

Your son lied.
You encouraged him to do so.
The orthodontist is paid to fix people's teeth.
Maybe she is bit sharp with patients but that does not mean she is bad her job.
I bet she is fed up of being lied to.
You have not met her so realistically you cannot say what she is like.
And now you think it's ok for him to have his braces removed prematurely so he can whiten his teeth.
What a waste of her time and NHS money.
YABVU

deandra · 10/03/2020 20:05

Hi. The average brace treatment is between 18 months to 2 years....(average). Some treatments can go on for considerably longer.... depending on what's needed, and the number of breakages. Breakages....slow down treatment. If your son wishes to have the braces removed before the end of treatment, he is entitled to do so, but it would be a shame.

Localocal · 10/03/2020 20:06

Agree with others. Talk to the practice manager and ask for a different orthodontist. Or move practices.

Boujee · 10/03/2020 20:47

OP get a grip!! Seriously if this is all you have to worry about then you are very lucky!! And as someone who had to pay £4000 for my 14yr old son to have a brace l would consider myself extremely lucky to not have to pay!! Ok so she may not have the greatest bedside manner but honestly its not like he has to live with her is it!!

Aridane · 10/03/2020 20:52

The lie about the sweetcorn is a red herring here

I don’t think it is - merely symptomatic of OP and son being the patients from hell

Lalala205 · 10/03/2020 20:52

If you're completely honest with yourself OP is it an orthodontist issue, or is it that at 18 it may feel like social suicide for him that he's still wearing braces? I seriously doubt he's happy about it, probably none of his mates are wearing them? And yes, it does indeed 'suck'. However, I'd remind him it's a means to an end and when he's 19/20 with a beautiful pearly white smile it'll have all been worth it. He'll have to wear a retainer for life (number of hours does decrease though) so he might as well get his head round the fact that orthodontic treatment remains life long and there's no magic fix just because he 'thinks' his teeth look great now, and potentially if he kicks up a fuss the braces will just be removed and it'll all be 'sorted'.

Aglet · 10/03/2020 21:41

It is not acceptable for a health professional of any kind to be rude like that. I would find someone else. It's bad enough going to the dentist without that kind of treatment. My son once told a dentist who kept hurting him despite him complaining, that if they carried on, he would have no alternative but to hurt them in return.

catswhiskers15 · 10/03/2020 21:41

Dental nurses are registered health professionals. Orthodontic nursing is a post registration qualification taken by RDNs who want to work in an orthodontic practice. In addition some dental/ortho nurses are trained in dental radiography. Some DNs who work with dentists specialising in implant dentistry, also do phlebotomy as some dental surgeons use PRP to promote healing. They assist with sedation and other procedures.
Perhaps there has been clash of personality with the orthodontist and if you feel strongly that things are not working, then change. As for removal of the braces, orthodontics are not just a matter of cosmetics but jaw alignment and bite alignment. While cosmetically the teeth may look finished, they may not be from clinical perspective.

Attitude84 · 10/03/2020 21:42

You are the one paying her, I’d ask to change orthodontists. Either that or I’d tell her to remember her manners.

crispysausagerolls · 10/03/2020 21:50

Many things to unpick

  1. why are you on AIBU if you are not willing to concede that you might, in fact, BU?
  2. why you think that you and your son know an orthodontist’s job better than they do? Your braces don’t immediately come off the second the teeth are fixed - there is a window of time afterwards I believe to ensure they don’t move around more (usually a retainer is used for a period at night etc).
  3. why are you annoyed that a health professional called your son out on a lie? That sounds like a decent professional Who is aware of what does an doesn’t break braces.
  4. you have literally never ever met this person but are just assuming your son is correct in his reading of her. As a PP pointed out, teenagers can be sensitive and perceive slights where none were intended - or doesn’t like her authority or just doesn’t like her vibe. Her behaviour as described on this thread sounds totally reasonable.
  5. you, on the other hand. come across as quite rude. “Duh” - really?!
crispysausagerolls · 10/03/2020 21:51

@Attitude84

She’s not paying her. It’s free treatment she is using on an overstretched NHS and her son is wasting her time by lying to her/seems to think he/OP know better re when braces should come off etc.

Attitude84 · 10/03/2020 22:32

@crispysausagerolls over 18s don’t get dentist treatment free on the NHS. The same goes for orthodontic treatment

Piglet89 · 10/03/2020 22:45

I think he will have begun treatment before he turned 18. I am fairly sure the OP said upthread that they are not paying for this treatment and it is NHS funded.

Which is but one of many reasons why she has (rightly) had her arse handed to her on the thread.

DrJackDaniels · 10/03/2020 22:46

@attitude84 No, he started his treatment before he was 18 so it’s all free on the NHS. OP even confirms this

Iminaglasscaseofemotion · 10/03/2020 22:52

Ok so she may not have the greatest bedside manner but honestly its not like he has to live with her is it!!

She is a professional, why does it matter who pays for the treatment? So because the OP isn't paying for the treatment, she should expect sarcasm and a crappy bedside manner. Jesus wept.

Attitude84 · 10/03/2020 23:00

I only read the first post, not the rest of OPs posts as there’s so many. Regardless of free treatment or not, it is still no reason to treat a person poorly. Yes, they may have lied just to avoid further issues, but most would try to help their kids out of situation. I also think it was to prevent this orthodontist being even more unpleasant. OPs Son also didn’t break his braces intentionally or stupidly. There is a huge difference. I think some people need to wind their necks in.

Panpastels · 10/03/2020 23:43

He will need to give his consent for you to make a complaint on his behalf.

Boujee · 11/03/2020 00:27

Iminaglasscaseofemotion so an 18yr old lad goes into her practice refuses to have teeth out in order to have the best outcome then reluctantly agrees, lies about how he has broken his brace, says he wants the brace taken off even though the orthodontist says in her professional opinion its not time to take them off. Really is it not surprising she has been a bit sharp with him? He's treating her like an idiot. OP isn't there so is only hearing one side of the conversation, perhaps if he had treated her with a bit more respect he may of received some back? He's lucky she's still prepared to treat him!!

Original poster
Itsmum2000 · 11/03/2020 00:50

@Aridane excuse me DS is the patient, not me. And he is not a patient from hell. Like I said, it says it all if he feels uncomfortable telling the truth. If she was nice he wouldn’t have hesitated or needed to lie

OP posts:
Lalala205 · 11/03/2020 01:27

So just request a different dentist?.... Your main issue is that NHS orthodontic services are very scarce due to funding, and the NHS clinics are staffed by dentists who generally stay in the department due to wanting to provide services in deprived services vs moving to the way more lucrative private sector. So he can put in a complaint, but he needs to be fully aware waiting lists are massive, and if he refuses treatment that's the end of it for him if he has issues later on once out opting out of services now.

Iminaglasscaseofemotion · 11/03/2020 07:44

Boujee sounds like she was already being a bit of a twat. Also as the OP says, she did not explain why the tooth needed to come out. Like fuck I would be letting someone remove my teeth if they didn't explain the reason for it to me properly (I've had 14 teeth removed and had Braces twice so have a bit of experience with orthodontists).
You have no idea if the OPs son was respectful. As usual on MN the child/teenager is always the one in the wrong, because there are absolutely no adults who behave like dicks in the world 🙄

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