Please or to access all these features

Add post

Watch this thread

Save thread

Start a new thread

Flip thread

Hide thread

My feed

Active Unanswered threads

Getting started FAQ's

Unanswered threads Acronyms Talk guidelines

Hide shortcut buttons

Talk

AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Flip

1 2 ··· 6 7 8 ··· 14 15

Original poster

To think the orthodontist is rude

352 replies

Itsmum2000 · 09/03/2020 12:44

Hi,

DS (18) has overbite and has been receiving orthodontic treatment for it since July 2018.

His orthodontist has always come across as very sarcastic and unprofessional.

A few months after the start of the treatment she recommended he get one of his upper side teeth removed to allow space for the bite to reduce, she didn’t provide DS with enough info about this at the time so he refused and then she made sarcastic comments like “oh you’re a man with a plan” “why come here anymore if you won’t get this simple procedure done”

Eventually, he did get it done and then she started to be reasonable again. (Ok I do get why she may be annoyed that he refused to get his tooth extracted, but she didn’t provide him with enough facts and she didn’t need to be blunt about it)

Anyway, he was in again today and he had broken his braces as he was removing plaque a couple of days ago with a dental hook and the wire came off and he tried to put it back in again and it wouldn’t go in.

I told him to tell the orthodontist that he was eating corn on the cob and it came off due to that, which he did and she didn’t believe it.

She didn’t directly say that, she just said “oh well that’s the most dangerous corn on the cob I’ve come across, “I think it’s had a little assistance”

So obviously she knew he was lying but DS thinks that was rude? AWBU?

He also asked her if the braces could come off soon and she apparently bluntly said no and her tone kind of made it sound like it was unreasonable that he was even asking for the braces to come off.

P.s I’m asking this on DS’ behalf

OP posts:

annamie · 09/03/2020 20:17

Her little assistant and her were smirking when she said that. Tell me you still think she’s professional?

You sound rude OP. You and your son need to grow up.

Posters who put ‘mum’ in their username mostly show themselves to be a certain type of person.

JellyfishandShells · 09/03/2020 20:19

No way you're a nurse OP-pull the other one, you've got zero insight

Does seem a bit lacking in professional solidarity for a nurse to refer to a dental nurse ( trained, qualified) as a ‘little assistant’

Peasfox · 09/03/2020 20:33

*He is self conscious of his smile. That is why he got braces in the first place.

As far as he is concerned his braces have worked. He has said that braces make him self conscious and he just wants them off so that he can go get his teeth whitened*

Then once the braces are off and his teeth are whitened (should someone of his age need teeth whitening anyway?) then what next? It sounds like he’s not happy whatever happens and very self conscious. I know that’s not the point of your post but something to keep an eye on maybe. He shouldn’t be too worried about these things, it can consume people.

I could be stretching!

Meaniebobeanie · 09/03/2020 20:46

Why don't you just listen to their advice and ask questions if unsure about anything. Don't encourage him to lie, shes not stupid (as if soft corn on the cob could break metal) At the end of the day he is getting his teeth straightened for free it costs £1000s private. Stop acting so hard done for.

Alyic · 09/03/2020 21:13

This reply has been deleted

Message deleted by MNHQ. Here's a link to our Talk Guidelines.

TellySavalashairbrush · 09/03/2020 21:21

Get rid of her. I had a really unpleasant, nasty dentist as a child and he made me terrified of dental visits for years. This was in the late 70s. He’d have been struck off these days, slapped my cheek when I was 7 for crying while in the dentist chair!!!

weeklycubrun · 09/03/2020 21:31

I'm a dentist. I would be so angry with my staff if they were sarcastic or condescending to any patient.
However I would also be annoyed if a patient lied to me re how an accident happened, if he refused required treatment ( however informed consent must be given first), and a request to remove braces early, which is pointless...
bottom line, the relationship has broken down, and there is fault on both sides. Just request to be transferred

Tvquizhelp · 09/03/2020 21:33

Oh dear op.

EngagedAgain · 10/03/2020 01:29

When the OP said corn on the cob, presumably she meant corn still ON the cob, in which case it's quite feasable to have caused some damage.

eaglejulesk · 10/03/2020 02:34

So you weren't even there and yet you are believing every word your DS says?

It sounds as though she may be a bit brusque, but:

if she said a tooth needed to come out then why did he need more information? She is a professional and knows what she is talking about.
he shouldn't have lied
if she said he can't have the braces off yet, then surely that is the end of it

Your son is getting free treatment, you should be grateful, and he needs to learn not to run to you with every little complaint. He will encounter worse out there in the big bad world!

Original poster

Itsmum2000 · 10/03/2020 15:14

Of course I am grateful. I am a nurse, I know exactly what strains and pressures the NHS is under right now, but despite that, I still have a duty to be nice and compassionate to my patients which is what DS’ orthodontist should be.

There are no excuses. I will be making a formal complaint

OP posts:

mbosnz · 10/03/2020 15:16

There are no excuses. I will be making a formal complaint

Based on hearsay.

Don't you think your son should be the one making the formal complaint, given he's the interested/aggrieved party who actually knows what allegedly was said or done?

mbosnz · 10/03/2020 15:17

Given he's 18, the age of adult majority in the UK?

Original poster

Itsmum2000 · 10/03/2020 15:18

@eaglejulesk sorry but I’ve no reason to believe that he has made it all up. There’s nothing in it for him.

As I’ve said, he has told a white lie to the orthodontist because he felt uncomfortable telling her the truth.

Maybe it’s her that needs to take a look at herself

OP posts:

Original poster

Itsmum2000 · 10/03/2020 15:20

@mbosnz it has annoyed so much that I really feel like doing it myself

OP posts:

mbosnz · 10/03/2020 15:27

Yes, but, just how credible do you think, 'my dear wee Johnny said that this orthodontist was ever so rude to him, and okay, so he delayed treatment because he wasn't prepared to accept the advice of the qualified orthodontist, but wasn't prepared to ask a few questions to ensure he fully understood the advice, which ultimately he did accept, and alright, he directly lied to her about how a breakage of equipment occurred, but that's just because she's so mean and scary, and then she rudely didn't accept his lie at face value, but made it very clear she didn't believe him, and he thinks he knows better than she does when treatment should end, and I don't think he's lying, I can't see why he would', is going to come across? Oh, and 'well no, I wasn't there, per se, why yes, this is entirely based on what Johnny says, and I'm just so annoyed I really think that I should complain myself'. . .

I'm just wondering how seriously that would be taken. . .

annamie · 10/03/2020 15:32

You say:

sorry but I’ve no reason to believe that he has made it all up. There’s nothing in it for him.

And then in the same breath:

he has told a white lie to the orthodontist because he felt uncomfortable telling her the truth

So he has form for lying.

JustBecauseItWorkedForYou · 10/03/2020 15:34

Haven't read all the thread.
But I don't think he should have lied
My ds has a brace and was told not to eat corn on the cobs.

His orthodontist also doesn't fix breakages until the next appointment. So if he's had it tightened and breaks it a week later it stays broken until. His next 8 week appointment, Meaning delaying treatment.

Only. Time they fix as such is when the wore ends up too long due to movement.

My ds brace broke eating a panini.. But like the orthodontist said it would have been something weakening it prior then something soft can be the final straw.

Original poster

Itsmum2000 · 10/03/2020 15:40

@mbosnz yes I see your point completely but I know that he isn’t lying. He’s been complaining about ever since he first went there so I doubt it’s untrue

OP posts:

Original poster

Itsmum2000 · 10/03/2020 15:44

@annamie I’m sorry but what on Earth does my username have to do with the thread I am making?

OP posts:

mbosnz · 10/03/2020 15:56

@mbosnz yes I see your point completely but I know that he isn’t lying. He’s been complaining about ever since he first went there so I doubt it’s untrue

I'm just thinking that possibly anyone you complain to might be just a teensy bit more impartial than you are, and perhaps would be interested to hear the other side of it, less inclined to take what he says at face value, and to perhaps require a little bit of proof, of which there is none - other than he has been complaining about it ever since he went there. And um, as pointed out, he doesn't actually come out in all this smelling of roses, regardless of his excuses/justifications.

Mikeymoo12 · 10/03/2020 17:33

I had a rude dentist once and refused to see her and was moved to another dentist in the practice. You already feel your most vulnerable someone poking around in your mouth you don't need them to be rude as well! Can you swap who he sees

PrincessBuggerPants · 10/03/2020 17:43

I am still cross about shit NHS orthodontists (who also treated me for my overbite) when I was a teen. I have since realised I didn't really ever give informed consent for my treatment.

It was never explained why a certain treatment was being suggested over another one, what the other options were, and what the overall aim of treatment was, let alone whether I agreed with it.

I also never felt I had the option to stop treatment, even when I was very unhappy with it. There was very much a 'your lucky to be having this treatment on the NHS' attitude, and endless gratitude was expected for a pretty unpleasant set of procedures, I was given no information about, and ultimately it didn't work that well.

Ultimately I still need braces to sort my teeth out and haven't gotten over my skepticism of orthodontists long enough to bother.

MrsPelligrinoPetrichor · 10/03/2020 17:46

Lol@ dangerous corn She was joking surely and ds is pissed off she rumbled him.

FelicisNox · 10/03/2020 17:52

So if I'm understanding this correctly; 1st he refused to have his tooth removed as part of his treatment and then he broke his braces and lied about it and you think SHE is in the wrong?

Could she have a better bedside manner? Probably.

But how many kids do you think she sees a day who do the same things your son is doing and more? How soul destroying do you think it is to be doing your best work day in day out to be LIED to and to have to go over work she has already done?

It's not a job I would want. She may well need to buck her ideas up but so do you and your son.

Flip

1 2 ··· 6 7 8 ··· 14 15

Swipe left for the next trending thread