To tell DH a lie so he helps me quit drinking

[ReallyBadSmellyCat]

DH will not support me in stopping drinking. I drink 42 units a week and need to stop.

I have a blood test this afternoon. AIBU to tell DH I have impaired liver function or something similar so he stops encouraging me to drink?

It sounds as though your relationship is really in trouble. But I'm guessing that's something the addictions services are used to helping with. Do try and talk to them about it.

Well done OP seeking help, It does seem worrying that your DH would take the mick out of you for getting help and that he doesn't seem to want to change at all to help you in what will be very damaging for your health long term.
The best way to see your DH is that he is just ignorant the worst end is that he's a selfish cock trying to keep you down but you will know him better than any of us on MN.
Good luck O, I hope you can make some progress to cut down with or without his help

Well done, op, that's probably the best decision you have ever made in your life! Go for it and best of luck too. I hope you find the AS helpful.

I was thinking that if you're signed off and family finances take a dip, then wouldn't it be a really really good thing that you're saving tons of money by stopping drinking? Won't he be pleased about that, at least.

Vis a vis his lack of support. This doesn't bode well, I'm afraid and may well indicate that, in spite of what it looks like, he has a problem himself.

OP you've gone for help and that is the most important thing.

I get what you are saying. It would be hard to have resolve when someone is waving a drink in front of your nose or a favorite sweet.
We're only human. Not having in your face for while will help think of it less. You need encouragement and not mocking or sabotage.

Now is the time to put yourself first 100%. Your life depends on it. So do whatever you need to do to get better. AA, counseling, staying with a sober friend for awhile, taking medication, telling your DH a lie , then you just do it. You are who is most important right now. Do what you need to do.

4 bottles of wine doesn't seem much to me but if you think it's a problem then you should definitely get support.

Do you drink in the morning or alone? Do you have children?

Here to support OP!

Sounds like hubby may a problem and doesn't want to stop. If you stop, then he will have to as well.

Ps. Ignore people on here. Well done you taking the first step in admitting you have a problem.

Out of interest, what's your ripple?

Tipple*

@FeeFee382 OP says she has 42 units pw, and the recommendation is for 14 units pw.

you can go easily over the recommended limit seeing that the amount of units in a bottle of wine is 10

I would imagine there are quite a few people on mn who are drinking as units if not more than the op

• as many units

Hey OP. Great start with referring yourself to the service. I found them fantastic. I'm 6 months sober next week thanks to my local service and an at home detox.

My current Partner struggled with the whole detox thing. Even though it was clear I was ill and needed to stop, he wanted to believe I could just reduce and be fine. I knew I couldn't. I talked about it with my couseller at the service both alone (alot) and twice with my Partner which was helpful. I think he was worried about it changing the dynamic of our relationship. And of course it meant changing his drinking habits as he also drank too much often. In the end it did come down to me saying I had to stop either with or without him. And I drew my line in the sand regarding him drinking around me. Bar a couple of early slip ups on his behalf, we're both happier. He does drink at home now a couple of times a week and I'm now ok with that. Also at meals out. But that's it. Getting pissed means going out and staying away from home. That's my line.

Follow through what you've started and address that side of things as you. But follow the path you need to for you. I can guarantee you, you won't regret getting sober. I'm just sad how long I wasted.

What an encouraging post @theemmadilemma! And congratulations on your 6 months sobriety 🎖

I'm not one to encourage lying usually but in your case OP, I think you'd be justified in saying your liver is shafted. If it isn't, it soon will be if things continue as they are. This makes it a life or death situation really. Just do whatever is needed to get you through these next couple of months and if this means telling a lie to someone who is trying to hamper your recovery then so be it.

A massive well done from me and disregard the snotty comments, there are arseholes in every walk of life and sadly that includes MNers too.

Evilspiritgin It is indeed very easy to go over the recommended units (I have been as guilty as anyone). It is now seen as "normal" in our culture - I worry when almost every female character in TV programmes has a glass of wine in their hand (probably an exaggeration but very commonplace nonetheless). However those who are drinking anywhere near 42 units a week, or realistically anyone drinking two bottles of wine a week or more, is risking their health and has a very real chance of liver damage, or damage to other organs, and should see their GP to discuss. I think we should applaud the OP for taking this step.

How are things today OP? When do you get the results of your blood tests?

I think you'll have to get a bit bolshie. Tell him that you don't want a drink. If he puts one down in front of you, go and pour it straight down the sink. Don't let it sit there for long enough for you to get tempted. Do it straight away. Yes it's a waste but not as much as keep drinking the stuff when you don't want it.

How did your tests go @ReallyBadSmellyCat?

How are you doing? Please keep posting, most of us want to help you - I think if you continue drinking as you have been it will probably kill you in the end, but it will be a nasty slow death - I am watching my brother killing himself in the same way. He won''t go for help, won't go anywhere near a doctor let alone an alcohol service, so I really do admire you for having taken those steps.

Do you have children? Do you want to have children? if you already do then you are giving them a real shit show to watch; and if you don't, but you'd like to then you have to be aware of Foetal Alchohol Syndrome.

I don't want to tell you what to do at all, but I do want you to think deeply about what you are doing; then you can decide what sort of future you want.