Sex and showers

[croissant2]

NC. Husband showers once a day, in the evening. He refuses to have sex with me after he's had a shower, because he doesn't want to get sweaty and dirty after showering. Apparently showering again is out of the question.

I don't want to have sex with him before he showers, because he wants foreplay and I don't fancy going 'down there' after he's been almost 24 hours without a shower. If I try and have sex with him after he's had a shower, he says I'm only doing it because he's clean now.

I shower morning and evening, and don't like foreplay on myself unless I've recently washed.

This all sounds so ridiculous but sex has become a rare occurrence because of this. Not sure if I'm being OCD and unreasonable or if he is?

@Lifeisgenerallyfun I don't think you know what a golden shower is 🤪

It doesn’t bother me if my boyfriend hasn’t showered since morning/just woken up. We often go to the gym on a friday, the showers are crap so we intend to shower at home but rarely manage it.

But, that doesn’t seem the be the issue. It looks like you need a proper talk about why the intimate side if your relationship is currently on pause. The shower is a red herring.

"If I try and have sex with him after he's had a shower, he says I'm only doing it because he's clean now"

Well yes, obviously. Though quite why he thinks that this is problem is a mystery to me

To me, sex and hygiene go together.

I love oral, giving and receiving, but l do expect a certain standard.

this is a power issue not a hygeine one.

@babasaclover I certainly do. It was humour suggesting they could get sexual kicks whilst ahem showering. In fact you could say I was taking the piss!

IIRC science tells us that there are far more dodgy bacteria in our mouths than on our genitals. And nobody would expect their partner to clean their teeth before kissing them .... would they?

It's not about bacteria, it's about smell and taste. And yeah, if my boyfriend has recently eaten he will brush his teeth before we get down to shagging. I don't enjoy his fishy, oniony or meaty breath and saliva all over me either! I don't care if people think that's weird or fastidious- if everyone is clean then I can get very dirty and thankfully my boyfriend is the same so we don't even have to mention it, but if he wasn't, and he took exception to me asking, I'd dump him tbf

Honestly, I can relate to him a bit. Just feels like a waste to shower and then shower again almost right away. But I also relate to you not wanting to put unwashed peen in your gob. Tricky.

Maybe different men sweat different amounts or have nicer tasting sweat? Personally i'm a lets all freshen up first type.

I think cleanliness is definitely a quality I find attractive. I read once that if a man is clean and smells good then you have a fairly good idea he will taste good too.

The only thing I've taken from this thread is that people shower way too much. Twice a day is just a chronic waste of water.

@HarryElephante Not if you get in and get out. I'm not going to work unwashed and I'm not getting into bed unwashed either.