Sex and showers

[croissant2]

NC. Husband showers once a day, in the evening. He refuses to have sex with me after he's had a shower, because he doesn't want to get sweaty and dirty after showering. Apparently showering again is out of the question.

I don't want to have sex with him before he showers, because he wants foreplay and I don't fancy going 'down there' after he's been almost 24 hours without a shower. If I try and have sex with him after he's had a shower, he says I'm only doing it because he's clean now.

I shower morning and evening, and don't like foreplay on myself unless I've recently washed.

This all sounds so ridiculous but sex has become a rare occurrence because of this. Not sure if I'm being OCD and unreasonable or if he is?

This is why you need a penis beaker.

Sorry

Blimey. People are weird. What happened to spontaneity?

I think it’s a bit deeper than just showers

Does it need to be a shower? Can you get him to rinse his wully under the tap? Rather than a full shower.

Jesus .... why is sex so clinical ?

Can he not just use a flannel on his bits pre shag?

Quick shower post sex. Not really a big deal or just shower in the morning. Is he making excuses op?

This is odd. I shower can take minutes and is hardly a chore. Is he ok. Is he suffering from anxiety.

I don’t think it’s the sex before a shower, that the OP has a problem with. It’s the unwashed penis in her mouth, she doesn’t like and she’s entitled to feel like that. Does he seem keen for sex before his shower or is he disinterested generally. If he seems to enjoy sex, but doesn’t want to bother washing himself and still expects you to give him Fore play, when he knows you don’t like to unless he’s ‘clean’, then I think that’s selfish of him.

Like what do people do if your at an all day wedding or something, do people not come home and have sex because they haven't showered since morning?

So you don't want sex before he's showered and he doesn't want sex after he's showered. Have sex in the shower?

Or is this a stubborn headed control thing where you both now get triggered by the word shower and neither one is willing to back down?

Just realized I've read three threads about unwashed genitals in the past 12 hours!

I'm not troll-hunting, but what is going on? Is it something to do with the temperature getting milder?

So he wont have sex after a shower and you wont have sex before one.

Well in this situation who ever is the most frustrated is the one who's going to have to shift their own goal posts.

Personally speaking if i'm going to be going down and it's been a few hours since he last washed i'm happy enough if he just has a quick rinse of his bits. He doesn't have to have a whole shower.

Bleugh at least needs a rinse under the tap first!

What about having a packet of wet wipes bedside, surely that’d suffice after the act?

I think you're the one being unreasonable OP. Don't you ever have spontaneous sex?? How dirty do you think your husband gets in between showers?

Insisting on a shower before sex is ridiculous!

How dirty is he getting in 24 hrs?!?

I love giving a blow job in the shower as I know it's all nice and clean!

However my husband showers daily and I'll still give him one on a night as long as he's not been to the gym or anything!

If I have sex at night time I don't shower until the next morning!

@colourbynumbers and @TheWordmeister

I agree with you totally! I don’t understand the lack of spontaneity and I also can’t imagine that if he showered the day before he can be THAT stinky!

It sounds like you're both locked in a power struggle and neither
of you will give in.

If it's imperative he's washed before sex can't you incorporate it
in to the foreplay - put a towel rubber sheet on the bed and lather
him up with a soapy flannel? afterwards thoroughly rinse with plenty of cold water

He sounds resentful. Not sexy.

Don't go down on him?

shame there's no super strong hand sanitizer around to improvise with

Failing that try "dipping the wick" in some metylated spirtits that will clear any germs and virsus's but mind any after the event ciggies wontcha:)

YANBU.

It also sounds like something bigger is going on. I imagine most men would be in the shower instantly if they knew sex was on the table, especially a bj. And yet yours seems to have dug in at the opposite end of the scale.

Surely this is why the penis beaker was invented.